Butt Ugliness

Back alive from camping. Well, it was “car camping” so there was never any real threat to one’s bodily integrity, unless you count the restless kids next door or the inevitable long-leashed pit bull. I do have one observation from this experience, however. How best to phrase it? Hmmm. If one were to judge the entirety of the human gene pool solely by the sample one encounters while “car camping”, one would be justified in concluding that the human race is a profoundly physically unattractive species. After two days of watching hundreds of people file by in their bathing suits, I only caught sight of a single attractive body, and I think she was a stripper who came down from Montreal for the day. What is it about camping that attracts ugly people? Perhaps there was a call from the wild (clearly heeded by yous truly, as well) that sucked all ugly people from the cities this weekend. Man, downtown Ottawa must have been a babe fest in their absence!

It is a truism that humans tend to seek good looking people with whom to reproduce. So it stands to reason that as a species we must be getting better looking with each generation, as presumably the lesser attractive people tend not to find mates. So imagine taking a time machine back 10,000 years. Butt ugly times, my friend. Butt ugly times.

RIP Peter Jennings, Ottawa’s most respectable ex-patriate son.