Here‘s a sad story about someone kidnapping a man’s dog, then sending the poor man a ransom note and a bag of poop as proof-of-life. The money quote: “It looked like my dog’s poop, but I’m not a dog poop analyst.”
Last night I went to a mixer for local South Asian “professionals” in Ottawa. A good time was had by all, especially by yours truly, since the event was chock full of gorgeous women –and y’all knows how much I likes my gorgeous women. One particular buxom lass approached me and asked, “Are you single?”
“Why yes,” I said, suddenly thankful for all the unnatural effort I put into my stylish appearance and demeanour.
“Good,” she said. “Because I have a friend I’d like to fix you up with.” While initially disappointed, I was nonetheless intrigued, since good looking women often have good looking friends. She continued: “So you’re interested then?”
Never one to pass up a chance to allude to my recent heart break (hence still being single), I replied, “Of course. My girlfriend and I broke up some time ago.”
“Girlfriend?” She reeled, “I thought you were gay!”
Note to self: need to stop putting so much unnatural effort I put into my stylish appearance and demeanour.
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