Tigger, Please!

I’m sure you’ve all heard the (non) news item about a Disney employee in a Tigger suit “assaulting” a teenager. Here’s the footage:

It’s pretty obvious to me that the punk was trying to pull Tigger’s headpiece off. Tigger trapped the dudester’s arm and gave him a well-earned whack to the head. If only all park mascots were authorized to smack teenagers. The world would be a better place.

Here is a story about a US senator named Mike Friend trying to make the sending of “adult” images via email illegal. Lesson #1: never trust any man named “Friend”.

And here is a story about a 40 year old high school student at “Malcolm X College” getting frustrated with math and stabbing her teacher, after exclaiming, “I don’t understand… Explain to me!”

Note to other frustrated math students: despite what “math is hard” Barbie might tell you, perforated teachers do not make the material any easier.

There’s yet another story about a suburban prostitution ring. I won’t provide a link because I’m sure no one cares to read it. What’s interesting is that the Madam, a former Penthouse Pet, has her own website. Since news broke of her arrest, the website has been in a permanent state of crash, as demand for her imagery exceeds the site’s bandwidth. Hmmm, I wonder why?

Courtesy of Rondi, I give you yet another political placement quiz, in which respondents get ranked from 1 to 40, with 40 being the most conservative, and 1 being the most liberal. Unsurprisingly, I scored a glorious 6. Warning: it’s pretty Americo-centric.