Captain’s Blog


One of the great joys in life is thinking up real or fantastical titles for porno movies, based on actual mainstream movies. Why? Why not? Here’s my list of favourites:

Sperms of Endearment
Das Butt
Mr Holland’s Penis
Shaving Ryan’s Privates
The Gaytrix
Edward Penishands
Star Whores
Sleeping Booty
Forrest Hump
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Cum
The Sperminator
Romancing The Bone
The Porn Identity (and its predictable sequels)
Snatch Addams
Schindler’s Fist
Riding Miss Daisy
Good Will Humping
Tango and Snatch
The Loin King
Splendor in the Ass
Analize This
and the winner… Jurassic Pork

I’m sure you’ve got some of your own. Feel free to add them in the comments section.

…Oh, and to CJ/RL or whatever name it goes by now: yes, I’m fully qualified to make up fake porno titles. My credentials have been inspected and vetted by the international fake porno title federation. So stop fretting about my qualifications and go back to pleasuring your sorry self to my glowing words of wisdom.