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It’s official. I will never again watch a first run movie in the theatre,
unless it’s been out for at least a month. I just saw the new “animated”
Beowulf, a magnificent rendering of Neil Gaiman’s take of the oldest story
in the English language. It was well told, with good pacing, a clever plot
and a delicate directorial touch.
But the experience was ruined -once again- by the army of suburban idiots
who, as always, are incapable of rendering sufficient respect for their
precious cultural and linguistic heritage.
Cell phones went off three times. One time, a fellow actually had a WHOLE
CONVERSATION on the phone! Throughout were the low (not whispering) voices
their supremely stupid girlfriends. And during every moment of cinematic
silence -of which there are many in this interpretation- some stupid
adolescent shouts out with an unfunny joke.
Do yourselves a favour: rent it when it comes out on dvd.
I think there’s a market here for a theatre to make some money if it
advertises special screening rooms with strictly policed behavioural codes.
The big movie companies complain that piracy is reducing their profits. I
blame usher-free theatres, which reduce the impetus for anyone over 17 to
actually pay to see a movie.