Guidos To The Left Of Me….

I have a lot of really stupid stuff for you today. We begin with my new computer desktop wallpaper. It makes me giggle:


Let’s move now to discussion of an anthropological subspecies of H. sapiens sapiens, called the “guido”. Now, I only learned of the guido today, so call me slow. But a little bit of investigation leaves me utterly flabbergasted, and more than a little concerned for the youth of today. Here’s a photo of a set of “guidos” from Supernegro.com:


So what is a guido? There is an excellent description of this class of human being by CajunBoy, called “Guido: Anthropological Enigma of the 21st Century.”

Since the guido apparently is known to frequently abuse both feminine cosmetic products and anabolic steroids (interesting combination, no?) they are sometimes considered a subset of “juiceheads”. A description of typical guido/juicehead behaviour can be found here.

Most interesting to me is the bizarre carrot-tinted complexion oft sought by the hardcore guido. Check out some of these pics, all taken from the Fark.com forums:



And what’s up with the pouty girly faces and manicured eyebrows? Either these fellows/clones are brilliant societal satirists, or they are possibly borderline retarded. I leave it to you, gentle reader, to decide:


The prime online source of information for all things guido is GuidoFistPump.com (turn down your speakers, ’cause there’s a Youtube clip set to “on”). Of particular import is their “guido of the week” feature. Go. Look. Now.

A final point about guidos. I think they may have a taxonomical relationship with another anthropological subspecies, “douchebags”. Check out HotChicksWith Douchebags.com to see what I mean.

And since we all need to wash our eyes now, here’s a pic of a young Barack Obama with all his politically correct, multiracial classmates. Looks like the cast of an after school special, doesn’t it?