Hey, It’s My Birthday

Drunk off my ass at a wedding this past weekend

Well, it’s my birthday today. I will celebrate it by lying on the ground and nursing my herniated lumbar disc. Birthdays are weird things. I’ve never really celebrated them. And if others didn’t remind me, I probably wouldn’t even remember my own.

I always sort of wondered why we congratulate people on their birthdays. What did we do to deserve congratulations? Wake up that day? I think on our birthdays our mothers should be congratulated, because no one will remember that day as well she she will.

In this era of automation and digital connectedness, it’s not surprising that my first congratulations came by way of Facebook. I love Facebook, I really do. Perhaps that makes me uncool; but I enjoy having all my friends’ information at my fingertips, and the ability to create a fairly satisfying fake social life at 3:00 in the morning without ever having to put on clothes.

Oops, I said too much.

But some other automated birthday wishers crept in, too. The World Sex Guide sent me an e-card. That was unexpected. (Methinks folks have been signing me up for things without my knowledge. Yes, that’s my official story.) Astrocenter.com sent me one, too, along with a coupon for a discount on their dubious services.

Astrocenter also provides the following horoscope for today:

Today’s Horoscope: August 12, 2009 Today, dear Leo, you’re feeling especially loving, attractive, and romantic, and therefore romance is likely to be very much on your mind. Romantic novels and movies could seem especially appealing. If you’re currently involved, you’ll probably receive a lot of attention from your mate. If not, expect to receive a lot of admiring glances from those around you, including strangers! You could meet a potential date, but take care to get to know this person before getting too excited.

Sure. I’m going to get lots of glances today…. from the voyeurs across the street who see me limping about in my underwear when I forget to draw the blinds.

The beauty of being born August 12th is that the heavens –literally– proclaimed my birth. In the Northern hemisphere, August 12th is the apex of the storied Perseid meteor showers.

Brother Bhash tells me that the fabled first marathon may have taken place on August 12th. Ironic since I will likely never run a marathon, given the state of my back.

Other birthdays today that I tend to acknowledge include those of my friend Rosa Aguiar, the late Jon Donald (whose very strange life I will one day write about), Terry “The Red Rooster” Taylor and actor George Hamilton. I missed sharing the day with Hulk Hogan by one day (whew!) But it’s also an anniversary of the death of Basquiat.

So, how will I really celebrate today? I’ll probably eat some carbs.