More Bits of Tid
My friend Mieke K., who’s now living in London, UK, went to an auction and found the following for sale:
It’s cologne made by Dean and Dan Catenacci, founders of DSquared. The cologne was going for some unZodly amount.
Why is this relevant? Because Mieke and I went to high school with Dean and Dan. Strange to find a product made by high school friends being sold with such aplomb at a London auction house, no?
Okay, I thought it was interesting.
What else have I got for you today? DeeMack sends us this feature about fan stories surrounding some famous movie narratives. Trust me, they’re much more interesting and plausible than the movies themselves. I particularly like the far superior theory surrounding the Matrix (*cough* crap *cough*) movies.
Also from DeeMack, apparently the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:
- Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
- Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
- Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
- Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
- Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
- Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
- Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
- Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
- Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
- Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
- Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
- Decafalon (n..): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
- Glibido: All talk and no action..
- Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
- Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
- Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
- Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:
- Coffee (n.): The person upon whom one coughs.
- Flabbergasted (adj.): Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
- Abdicate (v.): To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
- Esplanade (v.): To attempt an explanation while drunk.
- Willy-nilly (adj.): Impotent.
- Negligent (adj.): Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
- Lymph (v.): To walk with a lisp.
- Gargoyle (n.): Olive-flavored mouthwash.
- Flatulence (n.): Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
- Balderdash (n.): A rapidly receding hairline.
- Testicle (n.): A humorous question on an exam.
- Rectitude (n.): The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
- Pokemon (n.): A Rastafarian proctologist.
- Frisbeetarianism (n.): The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
- Circumvent (n.): An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
In Other “News”
You never know where a blog post is going to end up. My H1N1 vaccination post has been popping up all over the ‘Net, including on the blog of Keith and Darcie Dow. I don’t know who these people are. They’re welcome to my words, as is everyone else, so long as my name remains attached, as the Dows have done.