Twitter Tweets from 12-01-17 to 12-31-17

Archived Twitter tweets from 2017-12-01 to 2017-12-31, courtesy of the Twime Machine:

  • .@DogulusPrime needs this https://t.co/5H8fD4Ub8a Sun Dec 31 20:19:47 +0000 2017
  • Someone mistook the David Niven “Casino Royale” for the Daniel Craig “Casino Royale” and it’s trending on Twitter.… https://t.co/S9wWAChHot Sun Dec 31 17:21:29 +0000 2017
  • @ottawanag @ronindotca It’s the drive through window Sun Dec 31 17:17:47 +0000 2017
  • RT @sarahbennetto: Citizens of Earth, I have grave news from the future here in Melbourne, Australia. We did the Phil Collins 11:56:40 thin… Sun Dec 31 17:16:58 +0000 2017
  • RT @meganamram: R.I.P. 2017 (2017 – 2017) Sun Dec 31 17:16:46 +0000 2017
  • My mother just thanked me for opening a stuck jar of yeast. I told her “it was the yeast I could do.” I’m so proud… https://t.co/ZNBOUpOG2F Sun Dec 31 15:28:58 +0000 2017
  • Straight out Cyborg victory. But with MMA judges…. who knows? #UFC219 Sun Dec 31 06:03:52 +0000 2017
  • As I tell anyone who will listen (which is no one): very few people will ever be convinced of anything through evid… https://t.co/8plsAXQVB8 Sat Dec 30 19:51:27 +0000 2017
  • “F is For Family” is *exactly* how I remember the 70s. Sat Dec 30 18:16:45 +0000 2017
  • Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary https://t.co/4jk1rLukKE Sat Dec 30 07:31:38 +0000 2017
  • https://t.co/CWqqq7Fj6j Fri Dec 29 22:14:55 +0000 2017
  • The Motte and Bailey technique of discourse now threatens to stifle all academic dialogue. And social media is an accelerant. Fri Dec 29 16:45:12 +0000 2017
  • “The first casualty of radicalism is classical education.” True of radicalism at both ends of the political spectrum. Fri Dec 29 16:43:40 +0000 2017
  • RT @HeatherEHeying: Please engage me: 1st: As a human 2nd: As an individual Last: If you must, go tribal. But understand populations & stat… Fri Dec 29 16:37:52 +0000 2017
  • Seeing a fair bit of modern Lysenkoism in much of formal academic thought. Just gonna leave that there and let others ponder. Fri Dec 29 16:36:04 +0000 2017
  • 3 people unfollowed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Fri Dec 29 16:14:33 +0000 2017
  • I just made a donation to the ROM! @ROMtoronto https://t.co/YTosIzgBNp Fri Dec 29 14:24:39 +0000 2017
  • Q: What do you call a cow that just gave birth? A: Decalfeinated. #cleanjokes Thu Dec 28 16:45:36 +0000 2017
  • Doctor: I’ve good good news and bad news. Patient: What’s the good news? Doctor: Test results indicate you’ve got 2… https://t.co/MKDKbVnaZL Thu Dec 28 16:43:17 +0000 2017
  • Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize. #cleanjokes Thu Dec 28 16:31:03 +0000 2017
  • Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape? A: “Breathe, stupid!” #cleanjokes Thu Dec 28 16:30:36 +0000 2017
  • A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, “Give me all the money or you’re geography!” The puz… https://t.co/EOZlTguUR2 Thu Dec 28 16:29:55 +0000 2017
  • Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? A: It’s okay. He woke up. Thu Dec 28 16:28:56 +0000 2017
  • Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? A: “Put it on my bill.” Thu Dec 28 16:27:12 +0000 2017
  • https://t.co/bwx7W5VAGN Thu Dec 28 16:15:31 +0000 2017
  • Story of my life https://t.co/E5Za8l6tX7 Thu Dec 28 16:13:20 +0000 2017
  • Watching a movie about 13th century monks that stars Spider-Man, the Punisher and Emperor Palpatine. #fb Thu Dec 28 03:07:08 +0000 2017
  • I just watched a youtube video that literally explained what exposition means #irony Thu Dec 28 01:18:14 +0000 2017
  • https://t.co/81E56KzNO9 Wed Dec 27 18:47:26 +0000 2017
  • 4 people followed me and 2 people unfollowed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Wed Dec 27 03:59:04 +0000 2017
  • Hey Juliet Opuni-Mensah thanks for the follow! Wed Dec 27 02:24:19 +0000 2017
  • RT @openculture: The Vincent Van Gogh Action Figure, Complete with Detachable Ear https://t.co/EIlsdg2DZ5 https://t.co/QJPTYfrgX5 Tue Dec 26 04:35:23 +0000 2017
  • RT @AcademicsSay: I am away from the office and checking email intermittently. If your email is not urgent, I’ll probably still reply. I ha… Mon Dec 25 20:33:07 +0000 2017
  • RT @picardonhealth: Merry Christmas to the cleaning staff, kitchen workers, clerks, porters, lab workers, physicians, nurses, pharmacists,… Mon Dec 25 20:31:50 +0000 2017
  • Hey Meagan The A&R thanks for the follow! Mon Dec 25 07:14:15 +0000 2017
  • RT @kevinseccia: “What race was the guy?” – a question you’ll never have to ask my uncle during a story. Mon Dec 25 05:59:57 +0000 2017
  • Hey OAND thanks for the follow! Sun Dec 24 22:29:14 +0000 2017
  • Found this is blonde girl’s cupboard https://t.co/KkT5bi99cX Sun Dec 24 17:17:27 +0000 2017
  • Now here’s a professional athlete who’s a real role model https://t.co/nImOHwKZaj Sun Dec 24 17:12:00 +0000 2017
  • Dyslexia is so common now that I’m surprised we don’t have more mall Satans this time of year. Sun Dec 24 17:08:19 +0000 2017
  • In the past week, I dreamt: (a) Superman stalked Lois Lane to yoga class; (b) entire X-Men movie set on a drilling… https://t.co/tTz2SD23PR Sun Dec 24 17:06:19 +0000 2017
  • The Elliptical Sentence https://t.co/B7UhOqRRRc https://t.co/l2jZl1U4pc Sun Dec 24 16:19:13 +0000 2017
  • RT @ggreenwald: Animal rights, dismissed until recently as a fringe left-wing cause, is now a far more bipartisan, trans-ideological cause… Sun Dec 24 15:52:47 +0000 2017
  • 2 people unfollowed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Sun Dec 24 11:20:09 +0000 2017
  • @rondia ha Fri Dec 22 20:26:46 +0000 2017
  • When you call in an external expert to consult on a particularly tricky case, and his facial expression conveys the… https://t.co/PXiBfSxU08 Fri Dec 22 17:18:07 +0000 2017
  • https://t.co/1uF3iY3u9L Thu Dec 21 16:07:40 +0000 2017
  • .@RealHughJackman https://t.co/36OQZee50A Thu Dec 21 16:07:01 +0000 2017
  • Hey students, any exam flashbacks? https://t.co/dwCEym1tmA Thu Dec 21 15:47:14 +0000 2017
  • The lifts are alive with the sound of muzak. Thu Dec 21 13:51:06 +0000 2017
  • 2 people followed me and 4 people unfollowed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Thu Dec 21 10:59:47 +0000 2017
  • We whine about entitled Millennials. But what about entitled middle aged (white) men who insist on taking the armre… https://t.co/twCbfGsGbD Wed Dec 20 16:59:55 +0000 2017
  • I usually err on the side of defending professors’ academic freedom (which is always under assault). But not when i… https://t.co/6VbGXjUn0f Wed Dec 20 06:16:22 +0000 2017
  • https://t.co/UYfPc4Dw1o Wed Dec 20 05:37:47 +0000 2017
  • https://t.co/L93TE8YaLJ Wed Dec 20 05:33:41 +0000 2017
  • Another invaluable gift from a student. https://t.co/CUHqGKPNNA Wed Dec 20 04:43:18 +0000 2017
  • Latest gift/bribe from a student https://t.co/I0LR5tVdm3 Wed Dec 20 04:42:49 +0000 2017
  • When you go through a metal detector, watch & keys on a table, right? Well, in India I have seen the table replaced… https://t.co/u6vj1vby9H Wed Dec 20 04:03:07 +0000 2017
  • @RedParrots really? why? Wed Dec 20 03:56:51 +0000 2017
  • So far all the questions during the exam have been from students in the front row. My back thanks you! Wed Dec 20 02:01:49 +0000 2017
  • @leleinah Thanks for your input, though. I see how it could be taken in a bad way, and I won’t be using such questions in the future. Wed Dec 20 01:57:12 +0000 2017
  • @leleinah “Lecherous professor” is a character in my exams. He gets his comeuppance. He gets STDs. He gets divorced… https://t.co/bgiqXqM96q Wed Dec 20 01:16:44 +0000 2017
  • @leleinah or maybe the object of the joke is the lecherous professor. Wed Dec 20 01:09:48 +0000 2017
  • Hey ROWE thanks for the follow! Wed Dec 20 01:05:09 +0000 2017
  • @leleinah welcome to Deonandia Wed Dec 20 01:04:17 +0000 2017
  • During the epidemiology final exam, one student asked me, “Hey isn’t this the exact same question from the homework… https://t.co/x2Sameez8U Wed Dec 20 00:54:36 +0000 2017
  • Despite the multitude of (hilarious) jokes in the epidemiology final exam, the students do not look entertained. Wed Dec 20 00:49:34 +0000 2017
  • As I will not be teaching for another year and a half, it’s probably okay to give away another of my exam questions… https://t.co/ofPfVu4dA0 Wed Dec 20 00:37:56 +0000 2017
  • Hey, we profs need to amuse ourselves when writing exam questions… #FinalExams https://t.co/9f0O6TOnkT Wed Dec 20 00:33:28 +0000 2017
  • I’m particularly proud of this setup for an exam question (numbers blocked out in case I want to re-use the questio… https://t.co/8Jf0ct8Dre Wed Dec 20 00:31:58 +0000 2017
  • One student brought cookies with which to bribe me. I haven’t tried them yet, but they just might work. Bitcoin wou… https://t.co/3svdUr70Ym Wed Dec 20 00:25:17 +0000 2017
  • Every year on the epidemiology final exam, I personalize the names of fictional towns using students’ surnames. But… https://t.co/ZrxgiZWhQg Wed Dec 20 00:10:32 +0000 2017
  • Final exam of the year starts in 20 minutes. I will be live Tweeting any wacky behaviours (anonymized, of course). So stay tuned. Tue Dec 19 23:39:36 +0000 2017
  • This is the job ad I posted, for a project officer for the European Union in Barbados, that Facebook seems to think… https://t.co/ngEQB6BYYN Tue Dec 19 23:33:55 +0000 2017
  • New nickname for @DogulusPrime : the Paraphimosis Poodle Tue Dec 19 23:22:47 +0000 2017
  • @ottawanag bet the nun got de-frocked pretty fast, too Tue Dec 19 23:22:08 +0000 2017
  • @ottawanag At least there i assume you got some same sex experimentation action going. Tue Dec 19 23:05:15 +0000 2017
  • If you get out of public school without a moderate need for therapy and vengeance, then you wasted your time. Tue Dec 19 22:43:13 +0000 2017
  • RT @leroy_rollins: Uncle Leo is tending? Am I the only one that immediately thinks of #Seinfeld Tue Dec 19 21:15:20 +0000 2017
  • Eloquent lean response to the question of whether homeless people should be segregated in libraries. https://t.co/FmPgdTk2wK Tue Dec 19 21:08:41 +0000 2017
  • Happens EVERY exam: “Professor, my calculator isn’t working!” What want to say back: “Sounds like a YOU problem.” Tue Dec 19 20:04:12 +0000 2017
  • Received this suspicious email from @DogulusPrime https://t.co/KIL7eB9mXh Tue Dec 19 17:05:08 +0000 2017
  • Dear students, when you miss an exam last week with a last minute medical note, and I ask you to come in and write… https://t.co/uP8wsLwGjn Tue Dec 19 15:06:11 +0000 2017
  • So apparently Facebook has deleted a job ad that I posted because it’s “spam.” Guess it wasn’t Russian enough to get past their filters. Tue Dec 19 14:16:36 +0000 2017
  • (PS in the dream, Superman was played by Brandon Routh) Tue Dec 19 13:00:16 +0000 2017
  • Last night I dreamt that Superman was stalking Lois Lane and followed her into a yoga class. Everyone was happy to… https://t.co/nKJlDzzRBI Tue Dec 19 12:58:39 +0000 2017
  • @RedParrots i am not wasting this on a tree! it will sit proudly next to my superman coaster Mon Dec 18 23:02:55 +0000 2017
  • Just received this fantastic #AgentsofSHIELD coaster, handmade by @RedParrots …Thanks! You continue to be one of… https://t.co/SJznU3YPAe Mon Dec 18 22:47:02 +0000 2017
  • Voicemail: “Professor, we have a student writing your exam in our accommodation facility, and has a question. Pleas… https://t.co/sd4sdatqV9 Mon Dec 18 22:22:53 +0000 2017
  • RT @UO_GlobalHealth: REGISTRATION NOW OPEN Global Health, Equity & Primary Care January 10-13, 2018 Course Description: This… https:… Mon Dec 18 19:07:37 +0000 2017
  • https://t.co/kY9UNeXt2i Mon Dec 18 17:28:40 +0000 2017
  • “Richard Wagner” is Canada’s new Chief Justice. I hope they played “Flight of the Valkyries” when he was sworn in. Mon Dec 18 16:47:26 +0000 2017
  • Best email ever: “Hello, Professor. I hope you are doing well. Can you just give us all a copy of the exam so we kn… https://t.co/V1swsar6pO Mon Dec 18 16:19:06 +0000 2017
  • 2 people followed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Mon Dec 18 14:58:27 +0000 2017
  • Re-watching The Winter Soldier because Captain America is pretty damned awesome. #fb Mon Dec 18 05:50:35 +0000 2017
  • @brittharr2 https://t.co/V1SVUXaH35 Mon Dec 18 04:03:10 +0000 2017
  • Happens every year. “Professor, remember that thing you taught way back in September that you asked repeatedly if a… https://t.co/AOpWpHIktT Mon Dec 18 03:07:43 +0000 2017
  • Hey Matthew VanDyke thanks for the follow! Mon Dec 18 00:32:21 +0000 2017
  • You know how you go to put a fork-full of food in your mouth, but miss and end up stabbing yourself in face? No? Well I do. Sun Dec 17 23:55:24 +0000 2017
  • We live in magical times https://t.co/ufDOBWYR6F Sun Dec 17 08:31:30 +0000 2017
  • @mskater2422 You get an A in Twitter studies Sat Dec 16 15:38:24 +0000 2017
  • https://t.co/DstlWaVJcX Sat Dec 16 13:49:27 +0000 2017
  • The Gates Cambridge scholarships https://t.co/DYrpMKu7Xb Sat Dec 16 13:07:40 +0000 2017
  • Hey Nicholas Roy MSc MBA thanks for the follow! Sat Dec 16 04:47:24 +0000 2017
  • Happens every year… someone complaining about their final grade, even before I’ve marked the exams. Sigh. Sat Dec 16 01:35:46 +0000 2017
  • https://t.co/YrzJq8VBKZ Sat Dec 16 00:36:42 +0000 2017
  • Hey Allie Carter, MPH thanks for the follow! Sat Dec 16 00:32:30 +0000 2017
  • 3 people followed me and 2 people unfollowed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VjCeC Fri Dec 15 23:53:12 +0000 2017
  • RT @MMARoasted: Watching the Bellator HW tournanment is liking having sex with Pamela Anderson. I’m still gonna do it…but I wish it would… Fri Dec 15 20:28:22 +0000 2017
  • .@DogulusPrime does this thing where he furiously humps a cushion, chews on it, then falls asleep on it. I think he… https://t.co/EtBs5lrGG9 Fri Dec 15 19:21:49 +0000 2017
  • As a result of Disney buying Fox assets…. my prediction is that Avengers 4 ends with the infinity gauntlet used t… https://t.co/HhCfQGEN4F Fri Dec 15 19:05:14 +0000 2017
  • Apparently it snowed in England…. https://t.co/pUl3ZDDy0K Fri Dec 15 18:56:09 +0000 2017
  • @CKuziemsky @The_Trattoria @JMKuziemsky Congrats again on your marriage! Fri Dec 15 15:54:51 +0000 2017
  • @CKuziemsky @RedParrots I thought it was just me, Craig. Glad to see it’s equal opportunity idiocy. Fri Dec 15 13:13:04 +0000 2017
  • @RedParrots I once had a student appeal a “true/false” question with the argument, “I meant to write true but I wrote false.” Fri Dec 15 13:02:38 +0000 2017
  • “Dear Professor, in the exam last night, I meant to put a different answer for question 49.” Uh, this is not how exams work. Fri Dec 15 12:55:43 +0000 2017
  • .@DavidBilbert some of your favourite things https://t.co/zowQZYpP1L Fri Dec 15 12:49:50 +0000 2017
  • Hey Meghna thanks for the follow! Fri Dec 15 05:51:13 +0000 2017
  • As neither a parent nor a grandparent, I am nevertheless horrified by this https://t.co/OlDhNLp3GC Fri Dec 15 03:46:29 +0000 2017
  • For my stats students tonight. https://t.co/CCqZKZ2Y2p Fri Dec 15 03:41:11 +0000 2017
  • I will shout it from rooftops while alive, and whisper it with my dying breath. It’s GIF with a hard G, damn it!… https://t.co/a17v2nkEY3 Fri Dec 15 03:39:17 +0000 2017
  • https://t.co/eCak3epmj7 Fri Dec 15 01:32:49 +0000 2017
  • Big ups to @getawair …When FedEx allowed my shipment to be stolen, Awair replaced it free of charge. That’s good customer service! Fri Dec 15 01:18:03 +0000 2017
  • Good name for a band: Chocolate Butthole https://t.co/9Itfyh3OCO Fri Dec 15 01:05:42 +0000 2017
  • One nice thing about a statistics exam is that it gives me a chance to usefully get rid of a lot of scrap paper. Fri Dec 15 00:36:58 +0000 2017
  • I know I pile on about the students this time of year. But truth is, some of them are bloody brilliant. (Some of th… https://t.co/CelbKPbNhP Fri Dec 15 00:33:10 +0000 2017
  • And the first exam of the season is underway. So far no one seems close to tears, but the night is young. Fri Dec 15 00:13:52 +0000 2017
  • Are people today dumber than our ancestors from 200 years ago? I believe it. https://t.co/bm5l0Pd1Fb Thu Dec 14 23:38:51 +0000 2017
  • The line between fact and fiction is not as interesting as the line between fat and friction #chubbychasers Thu Dec 14 23:27:08 +0000 2017
  • Separated at Birth, part 137 https://t.co/H8ldG27Rrx https://t.co/FLJYTTYi3O Thu Dec 14 23:07:16 +0000 2017
  • Slowly dawning on me that about 25% of troubles my students have are actually not about understanding science, but… https://t.co/sMjmLA16ej Thu Dec 14 22:49:17 +0000 2017
  • RT @decentbirthday: It was a quiet car ride https://t.co/F9ubGUoHAI Thu Dec 14 22:31:25 +0000 2017
  • Who says brains can’t be sexy? https://t.co/UXsuIHxHRI Thu Dec 14 20:44:39 +0000 2017
  • Moore’s Law: “the number of transistors in a dense integrated circuit doubles approximately every two years.” Roy M… https://t.co/NqBFyrQqCG Thu Dec 14 20:38:31 +0000 2017
  • RT @ggreenwald: The claims here about Russia are accurate. But other than cheating at the Olympics, can someone tell me which of these the… Thu Dec 14 20:35:15 +0000 2017
  • Why didn’t those bears just eat Goldilocks? #fb Thu Dec 14 19:50:29 +0000 2017
  • Of course, Simpsons predicted Disney’s purchase of Fox https://t.co/i0ueQITOpn Thu Dec 14 19:41:32 +0000 2017
  • The good: “Fantastic Four” will finally be done well. The bad: “X-Men” will be relegated to Avengers support status… https://t.co/B9Z4VZrZ12 Thu Dec 14 19:38:22 +0000 2017
  • Just got all the way through an airport and onto a plane without being flagged for additional security screening. I… https://t.co/rDxgtyBTpl Thu Dec 14 15:21:29 +0000 2017
  • So we should just sit all of the leaders of Middle Eastern countries in a room, starve them for a day, and ask them… https://t.co/sKm9mwfTNP Thu Dec 14 14:35:39 +0000 2017
  • One of my former students 🙂 https://t.co/6bnYP4PmUk Thu Dec 14 13:15:02 +0000 2017
  • Irregardless of the context, if I here won more person say “very unique” I will literally explode. This will happen… https://t.co/evmIsy0LOJ Thu Dec 14 12:46:16 +0000 2017
  • https://t.co/8TjxTzUrVV Thu Dec 14 01:19:28 +0000 2017
  • https://t.co/6Bj27hpKJd Thu Dec 14 01:19:04 +0000 2017
  • How I berate students for poor literacy skills when even TVOntario sucks at words and stuff? https://t.co/ZhDGXXL4w8 Thu Dec 14 01:04:08 +0000 2017
  • Sweet Zod. “Knightfall” is terrible. Thu Dec 14 00:49:40 +0000 2017
  • One of the few wise rules I have ever implemented is not to answer any questions in the 24 hour period before an ex… https://t.co/F7x2Gcp2LZ Thu Dec 14 00:08:15 +0000 2017
  • Holy shit. The Stepford Cuckoos showed up on Gifted. Wed Dec 13 23:19:11 +0000 2017
  • Favourite last minute email from students: “I don’t remember if you said this was on the exam. Is it?” My answer:… https://t.co/RDezdWPpAP Wed Dec 13 22:21:29 +0000 2017
  • . @DavidBilbert all of your dick pics were blurry. Or maybe your dick is just blurry. Wed Dec 13 16:40:14 +0000 2017
  • I feel sorry for Doug Jones the actor, who is no longer the most famous or tweeted Doug Jones in the USA. I still… https://t.co/VR1KXBwqDW Wed Dec 13 05:44:55 +0000 2017
  • RT @m_tisserand: I don’t want to alarm anybody but Pence’s head is shrinking. https://t.co/ICnrNe90Kq Wed Dec 13 05:42:08 +0000 2017
  • The voting breakdown in Alabama. Yes, there’s a racial divide. I’m more interested to know: who were these 6% of b… https://t.co/MQdfGAmaZu Wed Dec 13 05:40:47 +0000 2017
  • RT @MorganJerkins: Black women when they left the voting booths in Alabama: https://t.co/pOHefqxAhc Wed Dec 13 05:37:06 +0000 2017
  • I don’t know what’s worse: the TTC or TTC riders. #fb Tue Dec 12 22:09:03 +0000 2017
  • Hey Leonard Kim thanks for the follow! Tue Dec 12 19:56:06 +0000 2017
  • 2 people unfollowed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Tue Dec 12 14:44:38 +0000 2017
  • I really doubt it. But it feels good. https://t.co/V3cDAloX6G Mon Dec 11 20:23:37 +0000 2017
  • Professors’ Trivia Night https://t.co/22Qye9uG6A Mon Dec 11 14:15:03 +0000 2017
  • Student anxiety levels are our of control. This week got countless panicky and unspecific emails about final exams,… https://t.co/vSOxlcDtR7 Mon Dec 11 13:51:19 +0000 2017
  • Of course, just got directed to the “additional security line” at the airport. But the brown guy running that line… https://t.co/1J9KRDBc3L Mon Dec 11 13:48:23 +0000 2017
  • @DavidBilbert And that’s how we know that you are not Man Man Mon Dec 11 13:02:23 +0000 2017
  • @DavidBilbert I wish his name were Guy Homme. Then he would literally be Man Man, which is also the name of the most manly superhero. Mon Dec 11 12:21:31 +0000 2017
  • https://t.co/38FOisONq9 Mon Dec 11 12:17:18 +0000 2017
  • “Nice girls don’t kiss on the first date, Steve. Your Mom wouldn’t kiss me until the third date. It made the sex on… https://t.co/CKenE4XDun Mon Dec 11 07:20:06 +0000 2017
  • “I’ve pulled more tail than a slow kid at a petting zoo.” Mon Dec 11 03:16:57 +0000 2017
  • An actual superman punch https://t.co/NkTPmQa52X Sun Dec 10 22:20:26 +0000 2017
  • For all I know, it actually says, “dick butt” https://t.co/jmravCoUVY Sun Dec 10 22:00:06 +0000 2017
  • https://t.co/JnruRCwgDP Sun Dec 10 17:03:42 +0000 2017
  • Also likely a new villain in the DC expanded universe https://t.co/wI4Q6TnsPk Sun Dec 10 17:00:30 +0000 2017
  • “Remember kids, if you want to be like Batman, take care of your abs.” Sun Dec 10 16:53:49 +0000 2017
  • . @DavidBilbert touched me in my special place. I will never wash that kneecap again Sun Dec 10 03:47:11 +0000 2017
  • I’m Ray, and I don’t lock my phone at house parties. Also, I smell bad. Sun Dec 10 03:26:58 +0000 2017
  • ‘”The Girl Who Threw Up In Her Mouth” is a much worse movie title than “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”‘ – the unn… https://t.co/JZlbQpcEhO Sun Dec 10 01:56:24 +0000 2017
  • Dear journal editor, when I decline to review your submitted manuscript because I don’t presently have the time, th… https://t.co/X06G3Pz0Nc Sat Dec 09 21:35:27 +0000 2017
  • “I made a terrible mistake. I took an AIDS test, but I crammed the night before.” -Norm MacDonald Sat Dec 09 16:10:01 +0000 2017
  • one person followed me and 2 people unfollowed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Sat Dec 09 15:02:44 +0000 2017
  • Research Scientist in Epidemiology position in Calgary https://t.co/bU2oDnLyHI Sat Dec 09 14:38:53 +0000 2017
  • Data Analyst job in Woodstock. Appropriate for epidemiology or health sciences grad. https://t.co/smCM04g0wa Sat Dec 09 14:37:34 +0000 2017
  • RT @MeanwhileinCana: This cute pup was not prepared for her first big snowfall. #MeanwhileinCanada https://t.co/PNAwDDXnJX Sat Dec 09 03:51:05 +0000 2017
  • From our catered faculty meeting… Bacterial growth on the hummus. #defytheconventional https://t.co/AfXV2m5wQs Fri Dec 08 20:25:50 +0000 2017
  • National Security, the Assault on Science, and Academic Freedom https://t.co/8bWvThDmO8 Fri Dec 08 18:23:03 +0000 2017
  • https://t.co/U0ufrprxYd Fri Dec 08 18:15:19 +0000 2017
  • While researching the reproductive anatomy of the female kangaroo, I came upon (heh heh) a good name for a band: “Side Vagina.” Fri Dec 08 17:28:00 +0000 2017
  • At our catered faculty meeting, where the labelled “vegetarian” meal is a roast beef sandwich, and the “gluten free… https://t.co/J0P15F1qAU Fri Dec 08 17:24:31 +0000 2017
  • Just found out that one of my old short stories, about two medical residents working the midnight shift, is going t… https://t.co/Bf2hbYWTB4 Fri Dec 08 13:40:17 +0000 2017
  • Hey Jayka Ta thanks for the follow! Fri Dec 08 09:58:15 +0000 2017
  • RIP, Heath Ledger https://t.co/RwEcqgDmgL Thu Dec 07 13:21:56 +0000 2017
  • Hope he’s not going to eat it https://t.co/lBl33cuLss Thu Dec 07 13:18:47 +0000 2017
  • https://t.co/mJAqOG7xx1 Thu Dec 07 06:45:29 +0000 2017
  • 3 people unfollowed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Wed Dec 06 13:56:53 +0000 2017
  • @RedParrots If I get tenure, I’m going on sabbatical. If I don’t get tenure, I’m going to the unemployment office. Wed Dec 06 01:54:20 +0000 2017
  • About to give my last regular classroom lecture for the next year and a half. Tue Dec 05 23:52:40 +0000 2017
  • Two all nighters. Two grants due. Two lectures to give. Today is going to age me 10 years. Tue Dec 05 18:36:35 +0000 2017
  • @DavidBilbert and Roth’s fashion sense Tue Dec 05 15:08:44 +0000 2017
  • RT @AndrewTumilty: The single greatest correction you will ever see. https://t.co/AZL9i8bslQ Tue Dec 05 13:53:53 +0000 2017
  • RT @germyradin: How the fuck come we only get one fucking goddamn moon Tue Dec 05 13:53:06 +0000 2017
  • @DavidBilbert He’s got my bod Tue Dec 05 13:51:07 +0000 2017
  • I’m going to start telling my stats students that their field was invented by Albert Gebra and Stanley Tistics. Tue Dec 05 13:42:49 +0000 2017
  • Thanks. I’ll be sure to tell “Dr Patel”. https://t.co/WYqUvaZlbr Tue Dec 05 13:31:42 +0000 2017
  • @RedParrots literal is figurative, momentarily is in a moment, irregardless is a word Tue Dec 05 13:22:50 +0000 2017
  • RT @mrjafri: Quentin Tarantino is making a Star Trek Film!!!!!!!!! https://t.co/jTJLCoPg5W Tue Dec 05 05:01:06 +0000 2017
  • These pics of @DogulusPrime just break my heart @brittharr2 https://t.co/3F4JFFGOWJ Tue Dec 05 01:14:15 +0000 2017
  • Merriam-Webster shouldn’t be allowed to make dictionaries anymore Tue Dec 05 00:20:04 +0000 2017
  • “Literally means literally not figuratively but people who use it figuratively are not wrong, they are just not usi… https://t.co/tCCxNklXHb Tue Dec 05 00:19:22 +0000 2017
  • South Park is the 21st century Jonathan Swift Mon Dec 04 21:47:11 +0000 2017
  • .@DavidBilbert https://t.co/YC4YmqNh8I Mon Dec 04 20:13:20 +0000 2017
  • This. https://t.co/Odd7jW2UgM Mon Dec 04 20:00:57 +0000 2017
  • RT @_youhadonejob1: Not impressed with the start to the new Star Wars. https://t.co/baaoBIW0O6 Mon Dec 04 19:55:52 +0000 2017
  • @opalsoap Yes. Yes I do. Mon Dec 04 19:55:19 +0000 2017
  • @ottawanag Shh. University higher admin is reading this. They know we’re on to them. Mon Dec 04 19:46:14 +0000 2017
  • It’s that time of year again, so I am re-posting one of my popular blog posts: “How to write a letter of intent for… https://t.co/CSyIDoXe3f Mon Dec 04 19:28:52 +0000 2017
  • So now students (or entities servicing students) are pretending to be professors to email other professors to get c… https://t.co/8NbvYdnFRM Mon Dec 04 19:21:03 +0000 2017
  • Why thank you < >, I’ll be sure to get right on that. Signed, < >. https://t.co/Vtf8E4xwLt Mon Dec 04 17:19:19 +0000 2017
  • @brittharr2 @AnimalBabyPix i’d eat them both (but not the cat) Mon Dec 04 17:13:51 +0000 2017
  • Some Thoughts on Safety and Free Speech https://t.co/npXy19KSAC https://t.co/5Ne2KKVsPM Mon Dec 04 03:48:40 +0000 2017
  • .@GetIntoGate 4/ Thanks for another great and hilarious episode. I suspect several strangers were tempted to call t… https://t.co/b3vFwfz93S Sun Dec 03 21:26:37 +0000 2017
  • .@GetIntoGate 3/ …As well, I live on the opposite side of the country from Vancouver. However, I might just be in… https://t.co/ulloddAmxA Sun Dec 03 21:25:40 +0000 2017
  • .@GetIntoGate 2/ ….important things that her mother and I have in common is a love for SG1. So I’m hoping that by… https://t.co/jU3ZqNkwC9 Sun Dec 03 21:24:32 +0000 2017
  • .@GetIntoGate 1/ Was just walking down the streets of OTTAWA, CANADA, listening to Episode 53 when I spat my coffee… https://t.co/Yoj7ZeghAk Sun Dec 03 21:23:24 +0000 2017
  • RT @infinitespeech: When Ngannou hit Overeem all I saw was #UFC218 https://t.co/pisyyEkIXK Sun Dec 03 19:54:05 +0000 2017
  • RT @high_light: Starting a gofundme to send Ngannou to every alt right protest Sun Dec 03 19:53:01 +0000 2017
  • RT @MMAIndiaShow: Francis NGannou defeats Alistair Overeem via first round knock out which looked like this x 1,000,000. #UFC218 https://t.… Sun Dec 03 19:52:11 +0000 2017
  • https://t.co/vzf9ayYiWf https://t.co/3hizDZAYzI Sun Dec 03 19:41:29 +0000 2017
  • Because I’m pretty sure we all died in 2012 and this is now a fucked up afterlife, I give you the 2018 Rachel Dolez… https://t.co/M9ZWqG7OK4 Sun Dec 03 19:06:47 +0000 2017
  • “Fuck slavery. Fuck racism.” – Francis Ngannou #UFC218 Sun Dec 03 18:10:10 +0000 2017
  • ‘Rubric’ always struck me as a good name for an idiot half-brother Sun Dec 03 15:43:00 +0000 2017
  • Congrats to @Robertvharrison on his lifetime science achievement award! Sun Dec 03 15:11:56 +0000 2017
  • My professor, many years ago… https://t.co/2N6FeYFCSF Sun Dec 03 15:10:38 +0000 2017
  • 4 people followed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Sun Dec 03 13:16:40 +0000 2017
  • At @CSEBOttawa research day, the presenters are given random codes for judging purposes. Awkward moment last night:… https://t.co/C1rtRMQwMZ Sat Dec 02 16:06:20 +0000 2017
  • Hey Ninjas for Health thanks for the follow! Sat Dec 02 09:49:05 +0000 2017
  • . @CSEBOttawa research day involves a host of cutting edge scientific investigations https://t.co/giW4FpaLC0 Sat Dec 02 00:59:36 +0000 2017
  • Two if our judges at @CSEBOttawa poster day https://t.co/rcKHM1j5WF Sat Dec 02 00:39:34 +0000 2017
  • Speaker at @CSEBOttawa poster day is talking about “toxoplasma gondii” and it sounds like he’s referring to a long… https://t.co/VhGSQGfQbx Fri Dec 01 23:32:04 +0000 2017
  • Epidemiology poster day hosted by @CSEBOttawa is underway, featuring podcast interviews with our researchers https://t.co/dQtJ2LJKHR Fri Dec 01 23:30:30 +0000 2017
  • .@DavidBilbert https://t.co/0Gob3lleoQ Fri Dec 01 21:16:58 +0000 2017
  • RT @m_tisserand: Muslim attacks four British youth. @realDonaldTrump https://t.co/Ab0vlhVGEx Fri Dec 01 21:08:31 +0000 2017
  • . @Roxyfighter is a special kind of awesome. Like if Amy Farah Fowler could kick my ass. I welcome the possibility… https://t.co/yJkr3EFZie Fri Dec 01 19:04:01 +0000 2017
  • How weird it was hearing @RomeshRanga on @ThatKevinSmith ‘s “Fatman on Batman.” Hearing my nerd words collide is…. unsettling. Fri Dec 01 18:53:08 +0000 2017
  • McGill faculty members called bill 62 “divisive and discriminatory politics,” and it certainly is https://t.co/0ftDcz491a Fri Dec 01 16:34:03 +0000 2017
  • My alma mater is #1 education university in Canada, while my employer is a respectable #7. I’m pleased. https://t.co/PYVHjh6fa7 Fri Dec 01 16:28:17 +0000 2017
  • This is brilliant. SCROTUS Donald Trump singing the Talking Heads: https://t.co/J24ZkdYosZ Fri Dec 01 13:49:45 +0000 2017
  • I liked a @YouTube video https://t.co/slTA1yikm1 Trump vs Talking Heads Fri Dec 01 13:49:21 +0000 2017
  • Hey Doug G. thanks for the follow! Fri Dec 01 07:49:16 +0000 2017
  • Is there a way I can filter out all the sports tweets from appearing on my feed? Fri Dec 01 06:39:42 +0000 2017