Twitter Tweets from 1-1-18 to 1-31-18

Archived Twitter tweets from 2018-01-01 to 2018-01-31, courtesy of the Twime Machine:

 

  • Hey Free Public Transit thanks for the follow! Wed Jan 31 23:51:16 +0000 2018
  • Hey 365_EnviroChem thanks for the follow! Wed Jan 31 23:31:22 +0000 2018
  • @PaulHBeckwith It would literally take upper middle class people melting in their offices on bay street in the middle of February Wed Jan 31 22:33:52 +0000 2018
  • Did anyone ask what Canada’s biggest challenge in science policy is? If not, I want to know #ISSPscience Wed Jan 31 22:32:36 +0000 2018
  • Hey Luc Brutus thanks for the follow! Wed Jan 31 22:32:30 +0000 2018
  • This is a timely event. Today a student made me aware of a science textbook used in a our program that hat has some… https://t.co/dd4XofgO0D Wed Jan 31 22:27:28 +0000 2018
  • @ReesKassen Worse. Narrative without evidence is ideology. Wed Jan 31 22:23:18 +0000 2018
  • As I tell my political scientist sister: political science is neither politics nor a science. (He ducks and hides) #ISSPscience Wed Jan 31 22:19:33 +0000 2018
  • What is unsaid: our established hierarchy of evidence innately discounts non western methods. It may be impossible… https://t.co/n61LrTCIaH Wed Jan 31 22:17:01 +0000 2018
  • Man, I find those answers re non western knowledge systems to be carefully politically balanced. I don’t know if wh… https://t.co/KsHnijFWnp Wed Jan 31 22:14:35 +0000 2018
  • Wow. That question about non western knowledge systems is a doozy! Let’s listen to the answers closely #ISSPscience Wed Jan 31 22:12:28 +0000 2018
  • If we really want more science in decision making, then we need more scientists among our decision makers, not just as advisors #ISSPscience Wed Jan 31 22:10:52 +0000 2018
  • I love watching academics ask questions at public events, and measuring how often the question is longer than the answer. #ISSPscience Wed Jan 31 22:05:22 +0000 2018
  • I believe we reach people through courage, authenticity and charisma. Canada needs a Carl Sagan. #ISSPscience Wed Jan 31 22:04:04 +0000 2018
  • @EmilyPrieur The scientist, not the entertainer Wed Jan 31 22:02:02 +0000 2018
  • Hey Pam Rittelmeyer thanks for the follow! Wed Jan 31 22:01:29 +0000 2018
  • Hey Nicole Arbour thanks for the follow! Wed Jan 31 21:51:18 +0000 2018
  • Too many non-scientists are speaking authoritatively about scientific matters. I blame bizarrely constructed interd… https://t.co/eLTfIdKqyw Wed Jan 31 21:45:06 +0000 2018
  • Evidence and rational argument do not change hearts and minds. PEople are sadly convinced mostly by authority and feelings. #isspscience Wed Jan 31 21:43:12 +0000 2018
  • 79% of Canadians concerned about “fake news”. How much you wanna bet it’s impossible to find consensus on which new… https://t.co/tRs3iJZ7cq Wed Jan 31 21:42:19 +0000 2018
  • .@neiltyson says that all scientists should engage the public. But astrophysicists don’t get pushback on their blac… https://t.co/bjDvy69IvX Wed Jan 31 21:40:25 +0000 2018
  • These public panel discussions need to be preceded by a comedy monologue. TV in the Trump era has spoiled me. #ISSPscience Wed Jan 31 21:38:56 +0000 2018
  • Hey Paul Beckwith thanks for the follow! Wed Jan 31 21:31:34 +0000 2018
  • I wonder if the topic of whether ideology affects which science is accepted/promoted will be discussed #ISSPscience Wed Jan 31 21:28:47 +0000 2018
  • I love this guy’s accent #ISSPscience Wed Jan 31 21:25:03 +0000 2018
  • I forgot my glasses. All I see is some blurry muppet like figures talking about something related to science #ISSPscience Wed Jan 31 21:23:50 +0000 2018
  • You know, the fact that we distinguish between “evidence based” and “evidence informed” reminds me that we still th… https://t.co/KDw1FrTpXt Wed Jan 31 21:20:54 +0000 2018
  • I always make it a point to attend events with our university president, partly because there’s usually a free rece… https://t.co/46A5kJzci3 Wed Jan 31 21:11:19 +0000 2018
  • I always sit in the back #ISSPscience https://t.co/GBFu5DSBqG Wed Jan 31 21:09:40 +0000 2018
  • I always suspected our driving schools were getting slack. https://t.co/WPpQ0ae4yZ Wed Jan 31 20:19:05 +0000 2018
  • @rondia You have optimum points? I’ve often wondered who collects those things 🙂 Wed Jan 31 20:17:26 +0000 2018
  • RT @Pappiness: This was the vote on Russian Sanctions: House: 419-3 Senate: 98-2 Today, Trump said he won’t impose the sanctions despite… Wed Jan 31 20:16:16 +0000 2018
  • RT @ggreenwald: Good to see Democrats trying something new: it’s been 13 whole months since they ran a very rich candidate with deep Wall S… Wed Jan 31 20:15:29 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/gjzp3GR0EN Wed Jan 31 20:02:28 +0000 2018
  • 5 people followed me and 3 people unfollowed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Wed Jan 31 19:32:38 +0000 2018
  • It’s -12 degrees outside. Dear Ottawa, I thought we talked about this? Wed Jan 31 19:13:18 +0000 2018
  • Help out HEalth Canada by telling them how much you presently pay for marijuana https://t.co/PawEGvYbGq Wed Jan 31 18:22:40 +0000 2018
  • Medical students, applications are now open for the Benjamin H. Kean Travel Fellowship in Tropical Medicine https://t.co/rUzuprWFpK Wed Jan 31 17:39:13 +0000 2018
  • I liked a @YouTube video https://t.co/Kb4S9zaVE6 Easy Ukulele Lesson — Take That – Back For Good – Tutorial with chords + Lyrics Wed Jan 31 15:00:48 +0000 2018
  • I liked a @YouTube video https://t.co/n4lMXQBBjh Back for good (ukulele lesson) Wed Jan 31 14:56:19 +0000 2018
  • I liked a @YouTube video https://t.co/XP0MP9ASx2 Sweet child o’ mine (advanced beginners ukulele lesson) Wed Jan 31 14:55:11 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/KgLQ2DKD0L Wed Jan 31 14:44:20 +0000 2018
  • Should universities also be places that celebrate ideological diversity? https://t.co/2hNU5SE0vt Wed Jan 31 14:42:30 +0000 2018
  • RT @jmeisenh: The #TTC’s Bloor Station is consistently, and dangerously, overcrowded. These are pictures from this morning’s chaos. Riders… Wed Jan 31 13:38:53 +0000 2018
  • RT @HellIsTheTTC: Looking for a way to try an escape room with 2,000 angry strangers? Should have tried out Yonge & Bloor station this morn… Wed Jan 31 13:38:28 +0000 2018
  • Hey Yosef Abramowitz thanks for the follow! Wed Jan 31 08:01:21 +0000 2018
  • Hey Justin Fehler thanks for the follow! Wed Jan 31 06:01:32 +0000 2018
  • I can’t be the only one who used to confuse Boxcar Willie with Willie Nelson. Wed Jan 31 04:25:38 +0000 2018
  • RT @nealbrennan: Was talking with friend about how impossibly old the Traveling Wilburys seemed when they released their music in 1988. I’v… Wed Jan 31 04:18:41 +0000 2018
  • And here Joe Kennedy looks like Conan O’Brien being fellated. #sotu https://t.co/YUqykhpo8c Wed Jan 31 04:12:58 +0000 2018
  • Hey Robert Beatty thanks for the follow! Wed Jan 31 04:01:30 +0000 2018
  • Both parties are fronted tonight by ridiculously wealthy white men. No one sees a problem with this? #sotu Wed Jan 31 03:53:07 +0000 2018
  • Sadly, all the Republicans would need to defeat Joe Kennedy is a really bright sunny day. #sotu Wed Jan 31 03:49:19 +0000 2018
  • Joe Kennedy looks like Christopher Reeve was dipped in bleach. #SOTU Wed Jan 31 03:46:00 +0000 2018
  • You really think the right Democratic response to Trump is a rich, white, urban scion? SMH. #SOTU Wed Jan 31 03:45:07 +0000 2018
  • That was a pukeworthy speech. But it definitely ignited his base, so mission accomplished. #SOTU Wed Jan 31 03:33:14 +0000 2018
  • Trump is into big boobs. See the two sitting behind him? #SOTU Wed Jan 31 03:31:28 +0000 2018
  • RT @MrTommyCampbell: Sung Ho keeps his crutches as a reminder of how far he has come. Donald Trump keeps his crutches as a reminder of wh… Wed Jan 31 03:29:59 +0000 2018
  • Historically, how many #SOTU promises actually end up being implemented policy? Wed Jan 31 03:28:49 +0000 2018
  • RT @ACLU: As Congress applauds Trump lifting up the heart-wrenching story of a North Korean refugee, remember: His ban on refugees included… Wed Jan 31 03:26:20 +0000 2018
  • @rondia but without the shots of wine Wed Jan 31 03:23:58 +0000 2018
  • With all the sitting and standing all these old men are doing, I wonder how many chiropractors will be doing brisk… https://t.co/srjIe5b7Ch Wed Jan 31 03:22:16 +0000 2018
  • RT @pattonoswalt: Stormy Daniels has to listen to this man orgasm. Where’s her Purple Heart? #SOTU Wed Jan 31 03:19:41 +0000 2018
  • Wait… there are more Kennedys? Is there a factory in Boston cranking them out? Wed Jan 31 03:14:39 +0000 2018
  • Holy shit. I’ve been watching state of the union addresses since the Ford administration. This was easily the most divisive I’ve ever seen. Wed Jan 31 02:53:45 +0000 2018
  • Was just singing Grand Master Flash’s “White Lines” to myself, and it suddenly morphed into that S-Club 7 song. Now I feel dirty. Tue Jan 30 22:22:09 +0000 2018
  • RT @CaffeineAndHate: #FunnyImagesToShare https://t.co/WAPrXwlisP Tue Jan 30 21:57:32 +0000 2018
  • @scowlyguy But easily entertained Tue Jan 30 21:56:53 +0000 2018
  • I got Epsoms salt all over my phone, so used vinegar to clean it. Now my phone smells delicious. Tue Jan 30 21:45:53 +0000 2018
  • Dear foreigners emailing me: I know that calling me a “reputed scientist” is supposed to mean “well respected scien… https://t.co/KP90uUvO4w Tue Jan 30 14:45:27 +0000 2018
  • @Kutchinbird The province isn’t ready for my handsomeness Tue Jan 30 13:42:02 +0000 2018
  • In every Star Trek series so far, a space battle devolves into a knife fight. Sure. #fb Tue Jan 30 12:56:50 +0000 2018
  • RT @ggreenwald: Trump has taken Obama’s secret drone assassination program, significantly increased both the number of bombs they drop and… Tue Jan 30 11:42:41 +0000 2018
  • Hey Rachela Hannah thanks for the follow! Tue Jan 30 05:31:28 +0000 2018
  • RT @scottbix: The National Congress of American Indians created this poster in 2001. Seventeen years later, the Cleveland Indians are final… Mon Jan 29 20:30:29 +0000 2018
  • Oh shit. Does Doug Ford now think he has a shot at being Ontario premier? Mon Jan 29 17:56:59 +0000 2018
  • So now some are claiming the NY Times is a white supremacist rag. In times of extremism, nothing is perceived as mo… https://t.co/4jmMuaHAbw Mon Jan 29 17:08:46 +0000 2018
  • Professors commenting in a public forum: 20 minutes of self introduction and preamble followed by a yes/no question. #fb Mon Jan 29 16:58:28 +0000 2018
  • Hey launchbox thanks for the follow! Mon Jan 29 16:36:12 +0000 2018
  • I cannot tell a lie. I have come to the union meeting in large part for the free food. #fb Mon Jan 29 16:33:06 +0000 2018
  • I’ve noticed a troubling rise in the number of people claiming to be scientists but who have no actual discernible training in science. Mon Jan 29 15:04:18 +0000 2018
  • “50 Shades of Grey is best-selling book of all time.” This can mean absolutely nothing, or it can mean a lot of thi… https://t.co/HyzlHmDRZR Mon Jan 29 13:08:43 +0000 2018
  • The generation gap is real https://t.co/o8cmJNTeX6 Mon Jan 29 12:49:29 +0000 2018
  • #oooooohburrrrn https://t.co/kb2DVFdbmH Mon Jan 29 12:46:38 +0000 2018
  • Possibly the cutest thing I’ve seen all year https://t.co/odk9qOU9Qv Mon Jan 29 12:41:34 +0000 2018
  • Elon Musk is tweeting jokes. And they’re good jokes… for a billionaire. #fb Mon Jan 29 11:22:17 +0000 2018
  • RT @elonmusk: The rumor that I’m secretly creating a zombie apocalypse to generate demand for flamethrowers is completely false Mon Jan 29 11:01:04 +0000 2018
  • Hey EasyRyde thanks for the follow! Mon Jan 29 10:56:11 +0000 2018
  • RT @Rschooley: Why do I feel like the key to solving immigration is getting Stephen Miller a girlfriend? Mon Jan 29 10:51:47 +0000 2018
  • I liked a @YouTube video https://t.co/koJzW99Tvt McGill International Experience Awardee Mon Jan 29 05:44:59 +0000 2018
  • Writing…so…many…reference letters… Mon Jan 29 05:39:07 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/hAeD0S59oL Mon Jan 29 04:53:04 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/QBVfGTJsAV Mon Jan 29 02:53:30 +0000 2018
  • The Falcon Heavy will launch on Feb 6, and my sphincter is tingling https://t.co/nMmiE9U38w Mon Jan 29 02:08:19 +0000 2018
  • 4 people followed me and 2 people unfollowed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Sun Jan 28 22:33:36 +0000 2018
  • Re: the XFL… I miss the opening sprint in lieu of the coin toss. They should up the stakes this and replace the… https://t.co/HUupiUh9MD Sat Jan 27 22:31:47 +0000 2018
  • RT @chrisdelia: I’m fine with a female James Bond as long as they still call her James Bond and the character is still a guy. I also am for… Sat Jan 27 22:23:45 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/9S3qsQMh32 Sat Jan 27 21:56:49 +0000 2018
  • “There are two kinds of men: those with loaded revolvers and those that dig.” – Clint Eastwood, The Good, The Bad and the Ugly #fb Sat Jan 27 20:51:29 +0000 2018
  • Saw that “Achilles” was trending on Twitter and was excited about a potential archaeological find confirming the ev… https://t.co/OWnLMSlzyx Sat Jan 27 07:04:11 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/IHK8HLPW0c Sat Jan 27 06:32:29 +0000 2018
  • Separated at Birth, part 140 https://t.co/oin732m70k https://t.co/IjfVAupsBJ Sat Jan 27 05:41:58 +0000 2018
  • Up late binge watching TV with @DogulusPrime, but here he is during the scary scenes https://t.co/BvqwaNEMXY Sat Jan 27 05:20:39 +0000 2018
  • When did the uniform for the male stand-up comic become an untucked, buttoned-up plaid shirt? Fri Jan 26 21:32:57 +0000 2018
  • Today’s Headscratch: Female Students Need More Exam Time? https://t.co/CvPa0sfzkZ https://t.co/pdWW7KsFsE Fri Jan 26 20:56:39 +0000 2018
  • Undegrad medical students considering a placement abroad should attend our pre-departure global health training ses… https://t.co/nGZe8f1fbt Fri Jan 26 18:15:19 +0000 2018
  • Hey HomeLoveHamilton thanks for the follow! Fri Jan 26 17:18:03 +0000 2018
  • “Blessed is the mind too small for doubt.” Fri Jan 26 15:18:21 +0000 2018
  • Whoa… “universities hijacked by the relentless pursuit of money and prestige, including chasing rankings that the… https://t.co/nYpNZNSAGa Fri Jan 26 15:01:29 +0000 2018
  • Hey colan mitchell 📡 thanks for the follow! Fri Jan 26 14:58:08 +0000 2018
  • ‘university ethics committees are now “drifting into moral vanity” by vetoing research in areas that are seen as “p… https://t.co/XUyh5kODvm Fri Jan 26 14:43:35 +0000 2018
  • Today I found myself referring to my right hand as my “mouse hand.” Time to take a break from the computer. Fri Jan 26 14:30:31 +0000 2018
  • Hey روح الله thanks for the follow! Fri Jan 26 12:48:15 +0000 2018
  • Hey +96170629710 thanks for the follow! Fri Jan 26 12:48:15 +0000 2018
  • 5 people followed me and 2 people unfollowed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Thu Jan 25 23:12:20 +0000 2018
  • Hey Mark Bland thanks for the follow! Thu Jan 25 22:58:05 +0000 2018
  • Hey RESS_SVS thanks for the follow! Thu Jan 25 20:58:37 +0000 2018
  • Just realized that my birthday is equidistant from both today and the start of WWI. Holy shit. Thu Jan 25 20:39:58 +0000 2018
  • Did you see this shameful interview? https://t.co/9GRTzGWDNk Thu Jan 25 20:18:26 +0000 2018
  • The Justice Emmett Hall Memorial Foundation invites students to submit essays to the 2018 Jack Boan Student Essay C… https://t.co/gq0MqV8Lre Thu Jan 25 20:05:17 +0000 2018
  • Hey, when the FBI’s cyber crime investigation unit has a night assignment, are they on a…. nocturnal e-mission? Thu Jan 25 16:00:46 +0000 2018
  • Woke up and found myself singing “Yellow Bird” with the lyrics changed to Jello Turd. #fb Thu Jan 25 14:22:16 +0000 2018
  • @anna_chernykh It’s called “Money Grab 101” oops. I mean Determinants of Health Thu Jan 25 03:14:29 +0000 2018
  • I love India. But its classism and outright disrespect of the poor and working class just pisses me off endlessly https://t.co/KG4BxMmhYr Thu Jan 25 01:00:05 +0000 2018
  • In class syllabus: “all exams will be online.” In 1st lecture: “All exams will be online.” In slides from 1st lect… https://t.co/u6xGVi3XUP Thu Jan 25 00:46:17 +0000 2018
  • RIP Mark E. Smith Wed Jan 24 21:51:33 +0000 2018
  • Just had a great interview with @ChannelOneNews https://t.co/4tgikehJDV Wed Jan 24 21:50:04 +0000 2018
  • About to do a video Skype interview that will be broadcast to high schools across the USA. This is where that whole… https://t.co/WDVXWVxF4v Wed Jan 24 19:06:38 +0000 2018
  • Just so you know… this “having less money than your parents” thing didn’t start with Millennials. It’s been going… https://t.co/CTIjgOvsM0 Wed Jan 24 18:51:32 +0000 2018
  • The title of this article is WAY misleading. All students –male and female– got extra time to finish the exam. Bu… https://t.co/3fWyDxkEo5 Wed Jan 24 17:52:42 +0000 2018
  • Maybe I need a Millennial to bankroll me. https://t.co/IkuvXoTdk5 Wed Jan 24 16:26:32 +0000 2018
  • Who’s really surprised? https://t.co/NZ9fpTrWDL Wed Jan 24 16:24:50 +0000 2018
  • Uh…. what? https://t.co/mvIpiZV7vY Wed Jan 24 16:19:46 +0000 2018
  • Trump has done a lot of newsworthy despicable things. Crippling renewable energy, though, is one of those things th… https://t.co/eju9fFZsYN Wed Jan 24 14:06:28 +0000 2018
  • Stolen from @docblw . I declare this to be the greatest visual pun OF ALL TIME. Biblical in scope, really. https://t.co/qjMoT4Twsy Wed Jan 24 13:57:04 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/7THmaDernR Wed Jan 24 03:05:29 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/2jIOxWI0ew Wed Jan 24 03:02:34 +0000 2018
  • RT @conor64: Jordan Peterson’s interview on Channel 4 exemplifies a new trend in public discourse: twisting words to make people look like… Wed Jan 24 02:46:43 +0000 2018
  • I always thought “The Lathe of Heaven” was one of the finest titles of any fictional work. #fb Wed Jan 24 00:31:05 +0000 2018
  • If Aziz Ansari were a college student, he would likely be expelled. That should alarm us. https://t.co/qY7CPSLK1F Tue Jan 23 23:27:50 +0000 2018
  • If Aziz Ansari were a college student, he would likely be expelled. That should alarm us. https://t.co/qY7CPSu8D5 Tue Jan 23 23:24:38 +0000 2018
  • More evidence that the world actually ended in 2012, and this is just some Hell dimension I’m stuck in. https://t.co/Oh3SGV7S2A Tue Jan 23 22:29:36 +0000 2018
  • Curious about whether you have an implicit bias? These tests might help. Whether they are scientifically defensible… https://t.co/jKvnsdcCMB Tue Jan 23 22:27:34 +0000 2018
  • The grand total of all my Amazon royalties in 2017 was….. (drum roll)…. $15.50! Whoohoo! Only a million dolla… https://t.co/bvNA7WRHMI Tue Jan 23 21:18:39 +0000 2018
  • A longer look at @Robertvharrison ‘s basement train town! https://t.co/WdgFrRdkIq Tue Jan 23 18:21:21 +0000 2018
  • The redoubtable @Robertvharrison has built an entire 1960s model town in his basement, complete with taverns, train… https://t.co/zhDFmi2Mxw Tue Jan 23 18:00:09 +0000 2018
  • Few things more frustrating as a supposed intellectual than having others put words in your mouth or misinterpret w… https://t.co/f6WJBEIcxf Tue Jan 23 17:42:42 +0000 2018
  • Hey K.E. Lanning thanks for the follow! Tue Jan 23 17:39:26 +0000 2018
  • RT @ass_deans: Congrats! You have been awarded an internal grant. You’ll soon find out we put so many restrictions on the money, however, t… Tue Jan 23 16:20:18 +0000 2018
  • Hey Stephanie Dorion thanks for the follow! Tue Jan 23 15:29:28 +0000 2018
  • Most common email from students in my online class goes like: “Do we have to do the Discussion thing? Do we get mar… https://t.co/fzhpdHnSUB Tue Jan 23 03:02:22 +0000 2018
  • 4 people followed me and 5 people unfollowed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Mon Jan 22 21:38:04 +0000 2018
  • Latest episode of Star Trek: Discovery was just metric assloads of stupid. #fb Mon Jan 22 20:03:10 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/gJInjLanjD Mon Jan 22 17:37:33 +0000 2018
  • Today @DogulusPrime was a bad boy and stole a burger from atop the table. Secretly, I’m sort of proud of his stealthiness. Mon Jan 22 01:23:24 +0000 2018
  • “The ‘nothing is funny’ people are trying to take over the world, and we can’t let them.” -Bill Maher #fb Sun Jan 21 23:29:30 +0000 2018
  • My second favourite email subject line: “You’ve just received a payment from Google Adsense.” Monetizing blogs. Who… https://t.co/AEvyAlGzq5 Sun Jan 21 16:41:36 +0000 2018
  • @trb8x this explains much https://t.co/LbbWlAJUuG Sun Jan 21 01:48:08 +0000 2018
  • @ottawanag Meh Sun Jan 21 01:04:36 +0000 2018
  • Someone from my online class just emailed me to ask if the online quiz is an open book quiz. Um, is any online quiz… https://t.co/Rz0iYK5ZAo Sat Jan 20 18:30:53 +0000 2018
  • Hey Gregg Croteau thanks for the follow! Sat Jan 20 18:09:07 +0000 2018
  • 8 people followed me and 3 people unfollowed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Sat Jan 20 00:55:59 +0000 2018
  • Hey ADR Canada thanks for the follow! Fri Jan 19 21:59:08 +0000 2018
  • Sign up for @csebsceb ‘s upcoming webinar on Epidemiology & Health Economics Policy, featuring @ntvdinh… https://t.co/LAq7DRzT2T Fri Jan 19 21:53:27 +0000 2018
  • Kim and Kanye name their new baby “Chicago West” because everything is stupid now. Fri Jan 19 21:44:07 +0000 2018
  • Saw that “David Livingston” was trending on Twitter and was momentarily enthused that so many people had developed… https://t.co/W4aoscnK41 Fri Jan 19 21:42:49 +0000 2018
  • A comment on a website that deserves a thousand likes: ‘Whoever first started to use the the word “optics” as a wor… https://t.co/FB52wyGxGa Fri Jan 19 21:31:48 +0000 2018
  • Hey Rap Fit Clothing thanks for the follow! Fri Jan 19 19:19:16 +0000 2018
  • “Gender fluid” sounds like a substance you don’t want on your sheets. Fri Jan 19 18:55:25 +0000 2018
  • Separated at Birth, part 139 https://t.co/9gfDvwW715 https://t.co/rX4E2P26lk Fri Jan 19 18:31:00 +0000 2018
  • Someone’s going to accuse me ot fat shaming, pig shaming, conservative shaming, or shaming in general. Whatever. Do… https://t.co/W9gmH9nthu Fri Jan 19 18:12:35 +0000 2018
  • One of which we can be sure… the Hindi Belt is not made of leather. Fri Jan 19 18:04:44 +0000 2018
  • I was really excited to spend the day watching Netflix’s “Salvation.” Guess what? It sucks. Fri Jan 19 17:46:53 +0000 2018
  • Here’s a punchline: “That’s the Goan rate.” Now write your own joke. #fb Fri Jan 19 16:11:47 +0000 2018
  • In university, we have noticed that grandparents seem to die around exam time. This is an epidemic of elderly morta… https://t.co/NeK08CoeWS Fri Jan 19 16:05:53 +0000 2018
  • My favorite email subject line: “You’ve received a royalty payment.” #fb Fri Jan 19 15:29:23 +0000 2018
  • Spooning often leads to forking Fri Jan 19 12:52:07 +0000 2018
  • Interesting analysis of intellectual fragility on university campuses by @JonHaidt https://t.co/h7CvhTTc0w Fri Jan 19 06:07:42 +0000 2018
  • Separated at Birth, part 138 https://t.co/DgZrVGlMrH https://t.co/r3rELQvLln Fri Jan 19 05:47:20 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/b2xBcN6NO0 Fri Jan 19 05:41:03 +0000 2018
  • Interesting talk by Jonathan Haidt on the morality of political position https://t.co/pUWhbcehVR https://t.co/DvuWL6pUiy Fri Jan 19 04:58:20 +0000 2018
  • So much of the world right now. (Yeah, I’m looking at you, Millennials.) https://t.co/DqZaRdkZ3d Fri Jan 19 02:26:19 +0000 2018
  • Nice to see Pornhub weign in on the Hawaii alert crisis. https://t.co/8rz88GGDHD Fri Jan 19 02:04:24 +0000 2018
  • RT @Moosedog23: “I was working as a racist in a cocktail bar, when I met you” https://t.co/1iRlBaLh4b Fri Jan 19 01:41:44 +0000 2018
  • Hey caitlyn kay thanks for the follow! Thu Jan 18 23:49:26 +0000 2018
  • Most frequent email today: “Is there like a website for your online class that I’m signed up for?” you mean the web… https://t.co/DCTzRpwFbP Thu Jan 18 20:53:21 +0000 2018
  • RT @lindseybever: https://t.co/2XfudV2PVk Thu Jan 18 20:42:36 +0000 2018
  • RT @sapinker: I collect ambiguous headlines. This one, on our President’s health, is among the best. https://t.co/G6YTMc9hNM Thu Jan 18 20:31:29 +0000 2018
  • Hey CBC thanks for the follow! Thu Jan 18 20:24:09 +0000 2018
  • To the extent that I believe psychology is founded in real science, I also believe evolutionary psychology has scie… https://t.co/ij2Ao7oriG Thu Jan 18 20:14:44 +0000 2018
  • Hey A thanks for the follow! Thu Jan 18 16:54:07 +0000 2018
  • Hey Zach Nelson thanks for the follow! Thu Jan 18 16:54:07 +0000 2018
  • In Via business class they always give me the emergency exit seat. Either they sense my innate competence and respo… https://t.co/Tnwfb5EhuI Thu Jan 18 16:33:49 +0000 2018
  • There are proportionally fewer children in Western society every generation. Yet our society increasingly seems to… https://t.co/muScE2dyI8 Thu Jan 18 16:14:23 +0000 2018
  • RT @_kfritzle: @bariweiss @k80way Footage of Katie Way seconds prior to hitting send https://t.co/32anRG4QA7 Thu Jan 18 16:10:18 +0000 2018
  • RT @AcademiaObscura: That moment when you make a google doc to collaborate with colleagues and they download it and send it back as a word… Thu Jan 18 14:14:26 +0000 2018
  • RT @DG_OIA: Are you interested in working for the Canadian government in global health? Join our great team! A job poster is open to Canadi… Thu Jan 18 12:19:21 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/AiETvLrW6d Thu Jan 18 02:35:33 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/xpEtiEh82P Thu Jan 18 02:34:11 +0000 2018
  • @RedParrots PS one of my undergrads just said the thing. So there’s at least some hope Wed Jan 17 22:26:46 +0000 2018
  • @ggouldmaule your mate: good grammar, good looks, not crazy…. you can only choose two. Wed Jan 17 21:09:27 +0000 2018
  • Hey Gianna Simone thanks for the follow! Wed Jan 17 20:14:29 +0000 2018
  • Look, it’s a joke, all right? Don’t send me any vegan outrage mail. (Jeebus, the times we live in….) https://t.co/lhqBftFnNG Wed Jan 17 20:04:10 +0000 2018
  • I want a Fake News Award. Whom do I need to pleasure to make this happen? Wed Jan 17 19:55:54 +0000 2018
  • If you missed the @CSEBOttawa grad school Letter of Intent workshop, our slides and photos are archived here https://t.co/5JrySUENlc Wed Jan 17 19:08:09 +0000 2018
  • For the good of the species, maybe we should consider not saving the stupid? #relaximkidding https://t.co/WXU2vRLWQZ Wed Jan 17 17:46:47 +0000 2018
  • RT @danheonca: Bank of Canada raises 0.25% on Variable rates today. As the Canadian Economy shows strength this is to be expected. This is… Wed Jan 17 17:41:13 +0000 2018
  • RT @ass_deans: Last year, someone used travel money inappropriately. They didn’t get in trouble but this year you’ll need to fill out 3 new… Wed Jan 17 17:34:54 +0000 2018
  • @RedParrots Dude(tte), we’re old. No one says that anymore 🙁 Wed Jan 17 17:33:53 +0000 2018
  • @trb8x pterodactyl Wed Jan 17 17:05:56 +0000 2018
  • I asked my online class to discuss this question: “A person has 6 fingers on his right hand. Is he ill? Sick? Disea… https://t.co/blWSFGoatc Wed Jan 17 17:02:42 +0000 2018
  • Regardless of whose side you’re on, I think we can all agree that Root Gorelick is an incredible name for a human b… https://t.co/kAZXZ3qJHv Wed Jan 17 16:56:23 +0000 2018
  • Hey Melissa Sutton thanks for the follow! Wed Jan 17 06:24:06 +0000 2018
  • Last year I had 55 subscribers and 1700 hours of views. But Youtube has raised its threshold for payouts to 4000 ho… https://t.co/fLbVETVWNC Wed Jan 17 04:19:06 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/hubmzZpVNC Wed Jan 17 03:28:34 +0000 2018
  • Regardless of how you may feel about @jordanbpeterson and his beliefs, this is a master class of how to be intervie… https://t.co/ddk8ft3mNg Wed Jan 17 01:31:04 +0000 2018
  • Dogs are better than people https://t.co/pM3719eF7Z Tue Jan 16 21:57:14 +0000 2018
  • Hey Matt Sibson thanks for the follow! Tue Jan 16 21:54:51 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/hG8PrJVkMj Tue Jan 16 21:53:21 +0000 2018
  • 5 people followed me and one person unfollowed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Tue Jan 16 21:11:58 +0000 2018
  • One of our grad students is doing a study on long acting contraceptives, and needs more women to answer her online… https://t.co/2jFGdHcGyf Tue Jan 16 21:04:09 +0000 2018
  • LIES!!!! https://t.co/KDQ687XVsn Tue Jan 16 19:52:05 +0000 2018
  • This would have been a better movie than “The Last Jedi” https://t.co/ezBh00Gnv3 Tue Jan 16 19:26:55 +0000 2018
  • About to give a lecture on global warming… While it’s minus 20 degrees outside. I know, I know, climate is not we… https://t.co/iInz8CLAsa Tue Jan 16 17:09:44 +0000 2018
  • I saw that “Jack White” was trending and immediately thought, “Uh oh. Who has he been showing his dick to?” Tue Jan 16 15:59:31 +0000 2018
  • Bought an envelope from the dollar store, final price $1.25. I give the cashier $2.25. What follows next is 10 minu… https://t.co/jNJsbxuFLz Tue Jan 16 15:16:44 +0000 2018
  • In space, no one can hear you burp. Because you can’t. Tue Jan 16 13:21:51 +0000 2018
  • Hey Deborah Lawman thanks for the follow! Tue Jan 16 07:39:12 +0000 2018
  • @javiercha we live in dangerous times https://t.co/30WqtWyjpO Tue Jan 16 04:22:49 +0000 2018
  • .@EricRWeinstein writes about kayfabe… https://t.co/T6vZdLPjeD Tue Jan 16 03:06:46 +0000 2018
  • Health sciences students… consider this information session on careers in Ontario’s north https://t.co/YfMXcwnFTO Tue Jan 16 01:56:12 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/QQKPzF6EvV #DoloresORiordan Tue Jan 16 00:08:41 +0000 2018
  • Whoa. Just gonna leave this here. Not looking for a fight. https://t.co/JVksd1W8jK Mon Jan 15 23:36:42 +0000 2018
  • Paul Ryan tweeted about MLK and I swear I thought he had attached a picture of Darth Vader #fb Mon Jan 15 23:30:50 +0000 2018
  • @adr I used to feel the same way until I entered by 50s Mon Jan 15 23:29:43 +0000 2018
  • RT @ggreenwald: The possibility of having the first trans woman in the US Senate – who also happens to be one of the bravest and most impor… Mon Jan 15 23:28:19 +0000 2018
  • Hey Aadita Chaudhury thanks for the follow! Mon Jan 15 19:14:08 +0000 2018
  • Dolores O’Riordan is dead?! #fb Mon Jan 15 18:59:48 +0000 2018
  • uh…. what? https://t.co/uhFnS3bIyk Mon Jan 15 16:52:01 +0000 2018
  • I’m a big -YUGE, even– fan of the Humanities. I wonder, though, whether such an education still resembles what I r… https://t.co/4rH4obtPoQ Mon Jan 15 16:42:16 +0000 2018
  • One of things I love about mathematics is how its history, both good and bad, is encoded in its names. Please don’t… https://t.co/o8R6WkbeHp Mon Jan 15 06:28:18 +0000 2018
  • Hey Chance Barton thanks for the follow! Mon Jan 15 05:24:13 +0000 2018
  • Hey Beyond Illustration thanks for the follow! Mon Jan 15 05:24:12 +0000 2018
  • If you’re going to send me spam email, at least spell your shit right. https://t.co/hnSF2lNXIX Mon Jan 15 03:07:41 +0000 2018
  • In USA, Blacks, young people, and men (yes men) more likely to experience online harassment. https://t.co/1p0B9BKvqy Mon Jan 15 01:55:50 +0000 2018
  • I miss what was before the Era of Outrage https://t.co/cG9MoKAtj2 Mon Jan 15 01:36:36 +0000 2018
  • Hey Fade thanks for the follow! Sun Jan 14 00:50:23 +0000 2018
  • ‘Tis a tad brisk outside. Sun Jan 14 00:29:26 +0000 2018
  • one person followed me and 2 people unfollowed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Sat Jan 13 22:09:17 +0000 2018
  • “In times if extremes, extremists win.” https://t.co/R1WvuhJjLA Sat Jan 13 17:32:02 +0000 2018
  • Whoohoo! My good friend Sarah from Ottawa! https://t.co/fiDu0k4h1U Sat Jan 13 14:46:33 +0000 2018
  • Last night I dreamt that Mark Hamill murdered my puppeteer friend. And I don’t even have a puppeteer friend. Sat Jan 13 14:28:54 +0000 2018
  • I love this sentiment https://t.co/zT0GH3yuMR Sat Jan 13 03:58:59 +0000 2018
  • @prometheandrive I love this sentiment. Sat Jan 13 03:58:48 +0000 2018
  • Regardless of where your politics may lie, I hope you will agree that it is angering to see a University go after a… https://t.co/PzbxwsXMxz Sat Jan 13 02:52:59 +0000 2018
  • Been singing the Road Runner song all day, but in my head it’s “Blade Runner”. The rest of the lyrics re-write them… https://t.co/uFUIREc8sv Sat Jan 13 00:24:54 +0000 2018
  • RT @AndUlv: Trump loves Norway because we grow his hair. https://t.co/IWMzelqYIQ Sat Jan 13 00:07:50 +0000 2018
  • The Lesser, the Fewer https://t.co/4pdRX3lp1x https://t.co/PSJ8nKoyJ7 Fri Jan 12 23:51:02 +0000 2018
  • @mn_aguiar oh well look who it is Fri Jan 12 23:24:29 +0000 2018
  • I think the Trump presidency will be remembered as the moment we were all suddenly allowed to say “pussy” and “shithole” on TV. Fri Jan 12 22:57:37 +0000 2018
  • You know who you are https://t.co/Z4Vl39tnZq Fri Jan 12 22:52:07 +0000 2018
  • Epidemiologist position in Richmond Hill https://t.co/RrrrUGLsYH Fri Jan 12 21:29:43 +0000 2018
  • @RedParrots yep Fri Jan 12 21:27:37 +0000 2018
  • I’ve decided to prune my reading, listening, and viewing list to exclude anyone who defended that Trump “shithole”… https://t.co/vwE2Qk8qvy Fri Jan 12 19:39:54 +0000 2018
  • Know how you really want a cup of coffee, so you make a cup of coffee, then forget that you just made a cup of coffee? No? Well I do. Fri Jan 12 19:36:56 +0000 2018
  • Know how you’re walking funny, and you think it’s yet another sign of old age, but then you realize you inserted yo… https://t.co/IBYmo2HopB Fri Jan 12 17:59:15 +0000 2018
  • Student just told me she wants to do “an independent study of anatomy.” Man, that sounds creepy. Fri Jan 12 17:56:45 +0000 2018
  • Know how you’re walking through the rain sipping from your travel mug and a car goes by, splashing dirty water in y… https://t.co/B5UJtNSAkj Fri Jan 12 17:44:16 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/KXktAbFu8K Fri Jan 12 15:44:22 +0000 2018
  • @calix why is there Canadian cum in my Guyanese mouth? Never mind. Thu Jan 11 19:08:09 +0000 2018
  • On a teleconference right now with an international panel of scientists. I find myself desperately jealous of the w… https://t.co/42oI1qwtXf Thu Jan 11 15:45:44 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/ndDtCbuYuL Thu Jan 11 13:52:32 +0000 2018
  • For all my unmarried desi peeps…. https://t.co/8Q4vm7ISBP Thu Jan 11 13:49:02 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/l8zaawY3p2 Thu Jan 11 13:47:51 +0000 2018
  • Hey Nova IVI Fertility thanks for the follow! Thu Jan 11 08:58:08 +0000 2018
  • 2 people followed me and 2 people unfollowed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Wed Jan 10 19:25:41 +0000 2018
  • My new futon from @futondor just arrived. I’d forgotten what it’s like to be comfortable! If you have a bad back l… https://t.co/QnGTWkeMDe Wed Jan 10 19:17:47 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/qt4BD0j0oM Wed Jan 10 18:57:45 +0000 2018
  • How cookie cutter is the new Star Wars? @redlettermedia predicted the plot(s) almost to the letter, 2 years ago https://t.co/9gyNAXeXVK Wed Jan 10 18:32:59 +0000 2018
  • .@DavidBilbert you might enjoy this. I did. https://t.co/ozdLuOVgf2 Wed Jan 10 17:35:18 +0000 2018
  • @DavidBilbert And I’d let you. Wed Jan 10 16:06:13 +0000 2018
  • .@DavidBilbert if you could, I bet you would Force choke yourself while you wank. Wed Jan 10 16:00:28 +0000 2018
  • I miss The Boondocks https://t.co/kflzX2RXaG Wed Jan 10 14:29:29 +0000 2018
  • Anyone else notice Captain Picard (not Patrick Stewart… Captain Picard) sitting in the audience of the Golden Glo… https://t.co/7Hw34gHlbN Wed Jan 10 14:26:16 +0000 2018
  • Animated GIF (not JIF) of the day https://t.co/Emrr5WnNQZ Wed Jan 10 00:43:41 +0000 2018
  • Twitter Tweets from 12-01-17 to 12-31-17 https://t.co/ZWJWHRPobo Wed Jan 10 00:05:49 +0000 2018
  • Twitter Tweets from 11-1-17 to 11-30-17 https://t.co/wItL9w8ya9 Wed Jan 10 00:03:22 +0000 2018
  • Recent Facebook Profile Pics https://t.co/mV8tDyWsRP https://t.co/sN0FxPp31Q Tue Jan 09 23:57:47 +0000 2018
  • Hey Claireeeeeee thanks for the follow! Tue Jan 09 22:28:08 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/4DHS1ShlbV Tue Jan 09 17:01:27 +0000 2018
  • Uhoh. I just spent 20 minutes trying to remember my office room number. Tue Jan 09 06:10:33 +0000 2018
  • Hey Jo Hausman, MBA thanks for the follow! Tue Jan 09 01:18:10 +0000 2018
  • Hey Haley Lynn Gray, MBA thanks for the follow! Mon Jan 08 18:15:39 +0000 2018
  • uOttawa undergrads applying to grad school: @CSEBOttawa is hosting a workshop on how to write your letters of inten… https://t.co/3WdDbN3ov3 Mon Jan 08 17:50:40 +0000 2018
  • Hey Kimberly Forster thanks for the follow! Mon Jan 08 10:15:34 +0000 2018
  • Hey Sheila Douglas thanks for the follow! Mon Jan 08 08:15:34 +0000 2018
  • Hey Elizabeth Alsopp thanks for the follow! Mon Jan 08 08:15:34 +0000 2018
  • RT @jimtankersley: “Your first sentence should be a question,” our moderator tells the audience, “and you shouldn’t have a second sentence.… Mon Jan 08 06:31:30 +0000 2018
  • Posted final marks at 11:55pm. First grade appeals arrived before the clock struck 11:56pm. Do they have these emai… https://t.co/PBEXQZh7fC Mon Jan 08 04:57:54 +0000 2018
  • @opalsoap Not unless someone actually gets choked out Mon Jan 08 04:29:26 +0000 2018
  • I make it a point not to follow celebrity news. So this Twitter obsession with the Golden Globes is really offputting right now. Mon Jan 08 04:09:06 +0000 2018
  • A couple of months ago I decided to consciously ignore the brewing culture wars. My happiness levels have been noticeably rising ever since. Sun Jan 07 20:36:01 +0000 2018
  • 2 people followed me and one person unfollowed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Sun Jan 07 17:10:09 +0000 2018
  • Hey Karin Hehenberger MD thanks for the follow! Sat Jan 06 14:15:44 +0000 2018
  • “I bought a dog from a blacksmith this morning… within 10 minutes of getting him home, he made a bolt for the door.” #ha Sat Jan 06 13:36:21 +0000 2018
  • Yep that was Ben Mulroney I just saw in The Fantastic Four Fri Jan 05 06:22:41 +0000 2018
  • @MahdiAhsan I will need proof! Fri Jan 05 01:22:27 +0000 2018
  • Hey DMV 🔌 thanks for the follow! Thu Jan 04 20:31:06 +0000 2018
  • Just offered my sister $50 if she’d go up to any employee at Canadian Tire and ask in all seriousness, “Excuse me,… https://t.co/NmvbYdqUpQ Thu Jan 04 19:57:07 +0000 2018
  • @CKuziemsky It is definitely from RAY. Google Home and Google Home Mini now on sale from a vendor near you! Thu Jan 04 16:56:14 +0000 2018
  • I love my Google Home. But over Xmas my family was talking about going bowling and considering trying 5-pin since m… https://t.co/rE9Qk3VGwE Thu Jan 04 15:56:17 +0000 2018
  • 3 people followed me and one person unfollowed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Thu Jan 04 15:52:43 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/Y8R8a5vVh6 Thu Jan 04 15:44:06 +0000 2018
  • One year ago today, I tweeted this. And it still applies: “Life is not about chasing your dreams. Life is about c… https://t.co/jWJNn0Um7W Thu Jan 04 15:21:14 +0000 2018
  • RT @TwoPaddocks: Yes, I know things can look a little glum at present. But , for now cheer up. From us. https://t.co/rL5VWPsWxF Thu Jan 04 14:49:20 +0000 2018
  • Why does my humidifier smell like ass? Humid ass? Thu Jan 04 14:23:39 +0000 2018
  • @brittharr2 So he likes a little coffee with his sweet cream. Thu Jan 04 14:16:26 +0000 2018
  • Hey Justin Murphy thanks for the follow! Wed Jan 03 20:30:06 +0000 2018
  • Hey Stevie G thanks for the follow! Wed Jan 03 02:15:30 +0000 2018
  • Hey Catherine thanks for the follow! Wed Jan 03 02:15:29 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/xSKSaQXN9r Wed Jan 03 00:17:14 +0000 2018
  • Animated GIF of the day https://t.co/bMV2Vt2zg7 Wed Jan 03 00:11:55 +0000 2018
  • Listen: stop writing “prolly” when you mean “probably”, you lazy fucks. (Looking at you, @calix ) Tue Jan 02 23:50:40 +0000 2018
  • https://t.co/4ORXNmQFSs Tue Jan 02 22:10:54 +0000 2018
  • Emma Frost is far more interesting than Jean Grey. Tue Jan 02 21:47:25 +0000 2018
  • Welcome to the era of outrage https://t.co/TQMmCmk1kc Tue Jan 02 17:58:49 +0000 2018
  • Pat Sajak benefits from Vanna White privilege. Tue Jan 02 14:48:32 +0000 2018
  • On behalf of my door brethren, I am offended by knock knock jokes. Tue Jan 02 05:43:47 +0000 2018
  • Plumber invents a hover bike https://t.co/njtOZJ8wme Tue Jan 02 05:10:43 +0000 2018
  • “No one going on a business trip would be missed if they never arrived.” -David Mamet? Tue Jan 02 02:19:27 +0000 2018
  • Seeing on Twitter that people don’t get what #davechappelle was trying to say with his pimp story. Now that is sad. Tue Jan 02 00:00:26 +0000 2018
  • Chappelle’s 4th Netflix special is sublime genius. I don’t know if this is the beginning of a new era of transcende… https://t.co/XPN2OWXbxg Mon Jan 01 23:40:54 +0000 2018
  • one person followed me // automatically checked by https://t.co/yRgI1VBdDc Mon Jan 01 14:23:27 +0000 2018
  • @DavidBilbert . @DogulusPrime has become a living tesla coil Mon Jan 01 06:15:16 +0000 2018
  • New Year’s always makes me nostalgic. And lately I’ve been reminiscing about the horrible, glorious 70s. Here’s a t… https://t.co/pH5qBaKsRz Mon Jan 01 05:42:10 +0000 2018
  • 2018 https://t.co/TBo5LlMTYJ https://t.co/CP3N8aUzVL Mon Jan 01 05:01:35 +0000 2018
  • I turned 50 this year. Here is David Bowie at 50. Why am I not this cool? https://t.co/I5V1nJonZp Mon Jan 01 04:33:11 +0000 2018
  • @JustSomeTweep Now I feel old. I saw A Flock of Seagulls decades ago… and The Fixx opened for them. I liked them.… https://t.co/AX65hWbdDW Mon Jan 01 03:50:48 +0000 2018
  • Ending the year as every year should be ended…. with David Bowie https://t.co/aPPT3XVJU9 Mon Jan 01 03:37:02 +0000 2018
  • Q: Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? A: He wanted to get a long little doggie. #cleanjokes Mon Jan 01 03:26:28 +0000 2018
  • Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye? A: “Between you and me, something smells.” #cleanjokes Mon Jan 01 03:25:57 +0000 2018
  • Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A: They have the same middle name. #cleanjokes Mon Jan 01 03:25:13 +0000 2018
  • Q: Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl when he’s using the bathroom? A: Because the P is silent. #cleanjokes Mon Jan 01 03:18:30 +0000 2018
  • Q: Why do chicken coops have two doors? A: Because if they had four doors, they’d be sedans. #cleanjokes Mon Jan 01 03:11:56 +0000 2018
  • Q: Why did the man get fired from his job at the calendar factory? A: He took too many days off. #cleanjokes Mon Jan 01 03:09:56 +0000 2018
  • Q: Why did the stallion give the pony a glass of water? A: Because he was a little horse. #cleanjokes. Mon Jan 01 03:09:00 +0000 2018
  • Q: Why don’t you ever find elephants hiding in the trees? A: They’re really good at it. #cleanjokes Mon Jan 01 03:05:47 +0000 2018
  • What’s the name of a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto. #cleanjokes Mon Jan 01 03:05:18 +0000 2018
  • RT @FeralCrone: When I told my parents over the phone that my husband has the flu, my dad said “Have you tried euthanasia?” and in the back… Mon Jan 01 02:08:32 +0000 2018