(Today's subject heading is an homage to internet wrestling legend Chris Hyatte, who may have just got married. With Hyatte, one can never tell what's fact, what's fiction and what's delusion.)

My latest op-ed is the top story over at India Currents Magazine. (This is a smaller version of an original Podium article.)

Over at Skiffy.ca, we have a new article: a review of the new Andromeda Strain by DeeMack.

Shout out to resident Deonandia villain Darth Vadum, who tapes his first appearance on the Daily Show this morning! We don’t agree on anything politically, but I hope he kicks some ass on TV, ’cause he’s actually a good dude.

Here in Canada, we are four days from Election Day. Depending on which pollster you ask, we are on the verge of another Conservative minority, a Conservative majority or a Liberal minority government. You’ll have my prediction, as usual, on Monday.

Recently, Liberal leader (and francophone) Stephane Dion appeared on the Right-leaning CTV network for an interview. As you can see from this following video, he seemingly stumbled on one of the questions, asking for clarification several times:

The Conservatives are making much of this event, as evidenced in this Western Standard blog post. But if you watch carefully, it’s evident that the problem wasn’t in Dion’s comprehension (though that plays a part), but rather in the changing and poor phraseology of the question.

The interviewer first asks, “If you were Prime Minister now what would you have done about the economy and this crisis that Mr. Harper has not done.”

Then, he asks something to the effect, If you were Prime Minister now, what would you have already done differently? Huh?

Most politicians would have resorted to their standard talking points about the economy. I think it’s to Dion’s credit that he struggles to understand the specifics of the question in order to provide a specific response. I also think that most native English speakers would not have been able to understand the specifics of that question, either, since most couldn’t parse a sentence or formulate a complex verb tense to save their lives!

Dion’s request for clarification is completely reasonable from a non-political standpoint: how much time would he had been Prime Minister before the crisis hit? A few days? Years? The time frame makes a difference to the quality of his answer. Or at least it would for someone trying to give a truly reasoned response, rather than the canned answer we’d expect from Harper or Layton. (In particular Layton, whose standard talking points are really starting to grate on me.)

In any case, Dion’s inability to answer the question speaks both to his poor grasp of idiomatic English and to his highly analytical thought processes. But it also speaks to the journalist’s inability to ask clear and specific questions, and even his inability to rephrase when asked to do so. My impression of Stephane Dion went up as a result of this event, since it showed me that he does not try to avoid tough questions, but instead seeks to understand them.

Shame on anyone who attempts to portray this interview as an example of Dion’s poor intellect or weaseling politician ways. The polar opposite could not be more true.

(Stolen from Fark.)

Seems I wrote the following post days ago (Aug 6th) and never bothered to upload it. Well, it’s pretty crappy. That’s probably why.

According to these ridiculous people, how you think about time affects your life path. Take the time test yourself. Apparently, I’m more likely to “be a Christian or a Muslim and attend religious services” and I’m less likely to do well in school and my career, and less likely to exercise.

Psychology: never trust a pseudoscience with too few vowels.

Meanwhile, Faux News is all giddy about reporting that there’s a KFC in Fallujah, Iraq, now, therefore the invasion was worth it, God’s in his heaven and all is right with the world. Problem? There is no KFC in Iraq.

What? Faux News getting it wrong? How can that be?

Love this: a preacher is charged with road rage, after shouting obscenities at another motorist and threatening her with his gun. Oh those wacky Xtians.

Yes, yes, I’ll have some “oh those wacky Hindus” moments, too. Until then….

I got a hefty speeding ticket Tuesday morning, just as I was completing my regular run from Toronto to Ottawa (in the province of Ontario, for all ye furr’ners). I don’t mind the ticket; if I break the law, I have no problem paying the fine.

But the cop asked me if I had any previous speeding tickets. I confessed that I had, about a year earlier. So he went back to his car and clicked on his mobile computer for about 20 minutes. When he returned, he said he found no record of my earlier violation.

“Probably because it was in Quebec,” I offered. (For ye non-Canucks, Quebec is another province, adjacent to Ontario.)

“That explains it,” he said. Then: “So, did you ever find that passport you lost 3 years ago?”

I answered no. But I was taken aback by the question. See, three years ago my passport was stolen from me in New York. As I blogged at the time, the process of getting a new one was a royal pain in the ass, with no substantive assistance from the Canadian consulate in New York city. In fact, when I was given my replacement passport, I was told that if I ever lost another one, I’d be investigated.

So let’s break down these events, shall we? The Ontario cop was unable to confirm that I had received a ticket in the neighbouring province of Quebec. But he was able to access federal information relating to my travel documents. Does this seem unreasonable to anyone else?

Additionally, I was the victim of a crime (my passport was stolen). As a result of being a victim, I am now apparently on some sort of watchlist for federal documentation fraud, deemed sufficiently serious that a highway cop brings it up during a routine traffic violation stop.

The next time someone tries to tell you that Canada is a free country devoid of government shenanigans, give ‘em a good kick in the shins.

In Other News…

The Other Ray sends us this nifty Dalek voice changer! Also, he sends us nice pics of colliding galaxies.

Medzilla sends us another great TED lecture.

Brother Bhash sends us this expose on what Rumsfeld may have known.

Nasty Nicky B sends us this great web comics series.

Further to my last post on old dudes staying in shape, The Other Ray sends us this inspirational article.

The Other Ray also (I hope ironically) sends us this ridiculous video providing “proof” of intelligent design, based on the “observation” that foods that are good for a certain body part actually look like that body part. Yes, it’s as stupid as it sounds. Why aren’t cucumbers good for erectile dysfunction, then? Or boiled eggs for waning eyesight? Or cauliflower for haemorrhoids?

The fact remains that, depending on how you slice it (literally), anything can be perceived to resemble anything else. This is not proof of Zod’s greater plan, but rather (based on the comments after the video) that Zod has seen fit to fill his planet with imbeciles.

Because all is intelligently designed, I leave you with this lasting image of the elephant, nature’s proctologist:

Remember, folks, I’m still open to more guest bloggers!

In my continuing obsession with cryptozoology, I was intrigued by this story about a strange scream heard by residents of a small town in Ohio. The link includes a video with sound. How is this cryptozoological? Well, the scream sounds to me a lot like a supposed recording of sasquatch calls I once heard in a documentary. Who’s kidding? It’s likely a bunch of kids with a megaphone.

Now this story is likely to generate a lot of buzz. British scientists have shown that, among a sample of 100,000 people, men have statistically higher IQs than women. What does this mean? A great many things, potentially… or absolutely nothing. It depends, I think, on the methodology of the study and the type of IQ test applied. If the science ends up being rigorous, however, I wonder what the political fall-out will be. For the record, I’m one of those people who’s all in favour of comparing races, sexes, nationalities, etc., in terms of measurable criteria like IQ and penis length. While practically useless, such comparisons usually provide ammunition against bigots and always help us refine our analytical methodology, since the methodologies of such studies are examined and critiqued by pretty much everyone on the globe.

When David Suzuki debated Phillipe Rushton back in 1989, regarding Rushton’s controversial theories about racial superiority, I was quite disapponinted that Suzuki’s main argument was that “this sort of research should not be done.” Wrong, wrong, wrong! Every kind of research should always be done, so long as it is done well and with proper methodology and conservative interpretation. Keep these debates in the public eye by conducting and publishing the research, or else the bigots will accuse the world of hiding facts and refusing to face known realities.

Now, Brother Hrab sends us this article by a human rights professor arguing against torture. (Amazing that someone needs to argue against torture. Seems to me that the moral and practical arguments against it are self-evident!) I link to it here because the article names Michael Ignatieff as a well-known, though hand-wringing, advocate of torture as “the lesser evil.” The author rightly takes Ignatieff to task for even using the evil/good dialectic. I’ve been meaning to talk about Ignatieff for a while, as he is an eloquent speaker and the author of a book I enjoyed some years ago, Blood & Belonging…

Canadian papers areall abuzz over how Ignatieff and the Liberal Party are courting each other, with strong speculation that Ignatieff is the heir-apparent to Paul Martin’s Prime Ministerial throne. Getting less buzz is the whispered rumour that former Ontario NDP Premiere Bob Rae is being courted for the same job. Weird times, especially since Ignatieff and Rae are lifelong pals.

My disclaimer and disclosure: Bob Rae was my MPP when I was a kid, and I have many memories of him sitting in our living room listening to my parents complain to him during election season. But Michael Ignatieff –the son of famed diplomat George Ignatieff and genuine Russian royalty– I have never met, though I went to high school with his niece Natalia, met his nephew Nicholas and have encountered other members of the family. I have nothing but respect and affection for the Ignatieffs I have known, but must recount one small observation. I’m not sure which one said it, but the opinion was expressed –passionately so!– that slave labour could not possibly have been employed to construct the Great Pyramids of Giza, since the things were so beautiful that anyone working on them would have done so out of love and nothing more.

That such stunning naivete could have issued from an erudite and otherwise sensitive individual was my first exposure to the class blindedness of the casually privileged. It is perhaps unfair to judge one member of a family by the utterances of another, but I can’t help but wonder if Michael is similarly blinded. It would explain his advocacy of torture, his apparent inability to truly conceptualize the moral horror of such a thing. It seems to me that there is an overlap in attitude among all those who approve of US torture of Islamic prisoners: an inability to project empathy to those of a different race, culture or class. Methinks there’s a thesis here for some keen sociology student, or at least a lame-ass op-ed.

Having said all this, I actually approve of both Rae and Ignatieff entering federal Canadian political life. I may find them both morally suspect at times, but both men bring an undeniable intellectual gravitas that is sorely lacking in contemporary Canadian public life. I think I’d rather be lead by a brilliant, ethically-circumspect man, than by a dumb man whose moral position so far remains well hidden. In other words, I guess I’m simply tired of the cavalcade of standard business-loving lawyers and MBAs who masquerade as leaders of communities.

Many thanks to Sheila for providing Deonandan.com’s very first guest column. Hopefully, many more will follow. Sheila also sends us today’s first random link: Death by Caffeine. It seems it would take 3120 cups of my beloved morning decaf to kill me.

So Pat Robertson now says he was misinterpreted in his “alleged” call for the assassination of Hugo Chavez: “I said our special forces should ‘take him out.’ And ‘take him out’ can be a number of things…” Yeah, like maybe to the movies or a prayer meeting. Keeerist.

As Rotten.com puts it, the Blob has attacked Canada! That’s right, my droogies. A mysterious slithering creature is terrorizing fish stocks near Nova Scotia, leaving a trail of slime in its wake. Oh, Steve McQueen, how we need ye!

Readers O Mine, you’re gonna LOVE this. These people are complaining about the increasing numbers of non-white contestants in major beauty pageants. On the surface, they have an interesting point: the face of Nordic beauty is now African? But they have to understand that the world is changing. Miss Ethiopia may one day be White. Miss India may one day be Chinese. Miss America may one day be literate. (Baaad Ray!) More likely, we’ll all be the same colour in 300 years and we’ll be fighting wars over hair length or toe width.

You really need to see this. It’s a video of the Smurfs from The Family Guy TV show.

Nojjy Boy sends us this NY Times article on the meeting of biotechnology with Hindu morality in India. Makes me a little uncomfortable, really.

Brother Bhash sends us a history of Guyanese “chutney music.” I hate it, myself, but I’m sure somebody out there is interested. To kill the bad taste of chutney music, Brother Bhash sends us two more interesting links about Indian music. This one lists Indian songs which resemble Western songs, and this one is on a similar theme.

Now on to the real topic for today: the signs of fascism. Very often we critics of the American Right sink to using the word “fascism” to describe our neighbours to the South. Despite its recent failings, the Americans still enjoy a functioning Republic. But there’s no denying that the signs of fascism are on the rise. This website has listed 14 signs of fascism. Let’s go through each one in turn and see how it applies to Bush’s America…

1. Powerful and Continuing Nationalism – Without a doubt, in the wake of 9/11, the USA fell under the sway of mindless knee-jerk patriotism. It’s recovered somewhat since, but it’s still there.
2. Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights – As we see with the Abu Ghraib abuses, secret trials, detention without charge or representation, the growth of the Patriot Act and every ounce of drivel that slipped from the crevice that is John Ashcroft’s mouth, human rights have no place in the new America.
3. Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause – The Bush apologists will rail against me for this one. But there’s a strong argument to be had that the villifcation of the “Muslim world” as a whole (rather than the minor criminal conspiracy that defines Al Qaeda) achieves a state of endless near-martial vigilance. It’s a strategy worthy of Goebbels and described by Orwell.
4. Supremacy of the Military – the near worship of “the troops” is indicative of this trend. It’s on the wane, I think, but it’s there. You can’t be anyone in the USA unless you mindlessly “support the troops.”
5. Rampant Sexism – Well, I can’t fully blame Bush for this, since the degree of sexism hasn’t changed that much since he came to office. But many of his policies have been regarded as tantamount to declaring war against women; his anti-abortion stance, for example. I welcome more examples or refutations.
6. Controlled Mass Media – Again, the apologists will whine about the supremacy of the so-called Liberal media. But Faux News dominates the landscape, and it’s pretty obvious to anyone with a brain that they get their marching orders directly from the Republican spin office. The prosecution of the war, with its media filtering and exclusion of indepedent media, is a sign of attempted media control. We’re not quite there yet, though, thankfully, and I think that’s due to the rise of the Internet. Yay us!
7. Obsession with National Security – Well this one is obvious. Expanded military, new nuclear weapons, new army bases, de facto draft, airport paranoia, fear of Mexican labourers —all signs of this obsession.
8. Religion and Government are Intertwined – I love this one. An evangelican president, the return of Creatonism to the schools, the hiding of breasts of naked statues at the Department of Justice, policy driven by the dictates of a “higher father” —the threat of theocracy is real, people. When joined with a true kakistocracy, this spells trouble on a Biblical scale. Pun intended.
9. Corporate Power is Protected – Um, Halliburton anyone?
10. Labor Power is Suppressed – I’m not up on any examples of this. Anyone care to pipe in?
11. Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts – Oh this one is so common it’s funny. If a Hollywood star disagrees with the president, there’s an instant chorus of, “get the hell out of politics, you idiot actor!” If he agrees with the president… silence. As for intellectuals, like Paul Krugman, the fastest way to lose your intellectual status is to criticize the administration. And the fastest way to gain such status, however undeserved, is to support it. Calling Christopher Hitchens…
12. Obsession with Crime and Punishment – Well, this has always been a staple of the American Right.
13. Rampant Cronyism and Corruption – Corruption is a standard in any government, Left/Right, Canadian/American/French/Indian/whatever. Cronyism, though, is all too transparent among this batch of Republicans. Utter incompetence is routinely rewarded, so long as the perpetrators toe the party line.
14. Fraudulent Elections – Ha! Insert your own commentary here, please.

Here’s a test for you, kids. Shaila –from all the way in Rochester– sends us this story about police thugs intimidating kids at Rick Santorum’s book signing. Which sign of fascism does this correspond with?

Well looky looky, a British memo says that “intelligence and facts were being fixed” by the Bush administration to manufacture a war in Iraq. We all know this already, but finally there’s some proof. Bet you $5 nobody cares, ’cause Britney Spears is pregnant or something.

Now, as I live in Canada, home of lax drug laws, this is not an issue for me. But I remember my brief stint in the capital of the American Imperium, where random drug testing was rapidly becoming the norm. So, for those of you of a particular vulnerable demographic, I present the Whizzinator. What is it, you ask? It’s a fake penis filled with urine. Yes, you read that right.

Lord Vadum sends us this story about a man in Italy who was successfully sued by his wife for concealing from her his impotence before marriage. The court ruled that he must pay her damages for eroding her right to have a family. This is just ridiculous. Erectile dysfunction is a proper reason for divorce, certainly. But the man is not infertile, he is impotent. He can still procreate… with a bit of assistance. This is a travesty.

On a completely unrelated topic, I attended the kick-off ceremony for Asian Heritage Month in Parliament two days ago. All the usual blowhard politicians were present, which was fascinating considering that the government is due to fall in a matter of days. There was equal representation from most of the major political parties (I think the Bloc was notably absent). But Jim Karygiannis, Libral MP for Scarborough-Agincourt, unbelievably commented, “My father, an immigrant, said to me recently, ‘Jim I’m proud that you’re an MP and proud that you’re a Liberal… because this Conservative-Bloc alliance is tearing the country apart!’”

Now, no one dislikes the Conservative party of Canada more than me. (Well, there are many people who dislike them more than me, but they don’t own this website.) But, come on, is a cultural event really the appropriate venue to be launching into political attacks? Of course, he was met with a round of boos, which I’m sure made all the nervous cultural performers quite at ease as they waited to get on stage. Sheesh. Bunch of squabbling kids.

But the afternoon was saved by the spectacular dance performance of my friend, the lovely Dr. Radha Jetty, whose poise, grace and rhythm were truly moving. Here’s a pic of Radha in all her glory: