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Raywat — Thu, 17 May 2012 03:36:20 +0000

Separated at Birth, part 22

Raywat — Tue, 15 May 2012 05:07:01 +0000

For part 21, click here.

Late Canadian PM, John Diefenbaker

Current Canadian PM, Palpatine

Mind you, everyone looks like Palpatine: Madeleine Albright, Pope Benedict VI, Joe Lieberman, etc…

Weekly Twitter Tweets for 2012-05-14

Raywat — Mon, 14 May 2012 13:38:00 +0000

UOttawa students (and some friends) at @csebsceb conference in Saskatoon, part 3 #fb http://t.co/2liYB6sT #
UOttawa students at @csebsceb conference in Saskatoon, part 2 #fb http://t.co/2BM7MeUj #
I'm at Marquis Hall (Saskatoon, SK) http://t.co/ltsmXOtg #
No, the petite Asian doctor presenting right now is NOT Dr Park from House. #fb #
Saskatoon mayor: "No one remembers the last man on the Moon." Uhhh…. Gene Cernan. You're welcome. @csebsceb #fb #
My most common comment while marking essays: "The comma is your friend, but not your BEST friend." #fb #
About to judge orals at @csebsceb student conference in Saskatoon. Bring the pain! #fb #
Today's search term driving traffic to my blog: "jailbait porno." Sigh. #fb #
Creepy, "uncanny valley" fake dude at U of Sask. #fb http://t.co/4gzCaYIc #
Sometimes you just need to get rid of a grad student or two #fb http://t.co/laI14BMP #
Former, current and non-UOttawa students @csebsceb conference in Saskatoon #fb http://t.co/IsbQTdBJ #
UOttawa students at the @csebsceb conference in Saskatoon #fb http://t.co/9mfOtpPL #
Students, former students and brothers-in-law at the @csebsceb student conference in Saskatoon #fb http://t.co/e77n7Cy1 #
I've had students with surnames "Poon" and "Tang". Now, if they were to marry… #fb #
Saskatoon, bitches. #fb #
One more paper (unexpectedly) accepted for publication! #fb #
Flying Westjet is always interesting. All the other passengers are always middle aged white men. #fb #
Latest scam email from a "Russian bride": "I ask that you answer me in my box." #fb #
Loud old man behind me is talking about his pastor. But he pronounces it, "pasta." It's making me irreverently hungry. #fb #
Man, quite the cavalcade of weirdos and whiners on the city bus at 2pm. I fit right in. #fb #
From now on, under "address", I'm going to write, "airport". #fb #
Toilet flushes that are full of sound and fury yet signify nothing #thingsthatannoyme #fb #
Off to Saskatoon lated day for the @csebsceb student conference. Will anyone else be there? #fb #
Is it so wrong that I just visualized brushing my teeth with a butter stick? #fb #
I'm at Catherine street Chiropractic http://t.co/zEJEcmG1 #
Potential title for my autobiography: "Belly Fat: The Insipid Lipid." #fb #
Inbox forced under 80 for the first time in months. Time for breakfast. #fb #
Hey, UOttawa REB (ethics) office: I'm actually quite impressed with how fast you've processed my latest round of applications! Well done! #
Channa masala with a side of Zantac #fb #
If I'm out of laundry detergent, I can use hand soap, right? Right? #fb #
It's a bad sign when I have to take a 10pm break from marking to go into the rain to buy antacids #fb #
Dear people who email me forms made in MS-Word: don't use underlines for spaces. Use spaces for spaces. #fb #
I'm at Fairmont Château Laurier (Ottawa, ON) http://t.co/42nSS6od #
Ottawa, bitches #fb #
Chicago, bitches #fb #
I'm at The Cheshire (St Louis, Missouri) http://t.co/QyxiK88D #
The sitting room of my gothic hotel (The Cheshire) in MO #fb http://t.co/dt9FUp5Q #
Not helping: Passengers sue Air Canada for $20-million after groggy pilot sent plane into terrifying nosedive http://t.co/muYqfUzJ #fb #
Wow. A lot of people are still using hotmail. #supwitdat #fb #
As I nap in the William Golding room of my gothic hotel, I realize that Golding would have been 101 this year! #fb #
What's up with these hotel maids who want to clean your room at 9:AM? #fb #
Students come in two flavours: those who submit their essays as DOC files, and those who use DOCX. #fb #
Timeline of the far future. Kinda neat: http://t.co/HBOUz5Gg #fb #
Staying in a quaint Missouri gothic inn modelled on the lives of British authors. Mine is the "William Golding" room. No flies yet. #fb #
Great. Now a fat dude is taking up half my seat. #grrrr #fb #
Sweet Jeebus. Connecting through Pearson on a flight to the US could not possibly be more inefficient #fb #
I'm at Ottawa MacDonald-Cartier International Airport (YOW) (Ottawa, ON) w/ 4 others http://t.co/GN7Kk3GZ #
Oh, Air Canada, you have joined all US airlines in somehow managing to make air travel even more stressful than it needs to be. #fb #
My vow: I'm burning through my Aeroplan points, then I'm never flying Air Canada again. Ever. #fb #
I'm at Killens Reid Physiotherapy (Ottawa, ONTARIO) http://t.co/QiWuD9U4 #

Weekly Twitter Tweets for 2012-05-07

Raywat — Mon, 07 May 2012 13:38:00 +0000

"Unlike food and water, Mozart is not a basic human necessity." -Bill Maher #fb #
This weekend actually marks the 199th anniversary of the death of David Livingstone #fb #
I suddenly understand why David Livingstone spent so much time in the wilds of Africa. This was his wife back home http://t.co/Yceka1KT #fb #
Toddler memories: I thought "Watergate" was a bad TV show, 'cause the hearings kept pre-empting "The Flintstones". #old #fb #
Mayonnaise: king of condiments #fb #
Lunch: tomato soup and turkey breast wraps #omnomnom #fb http://t.co/xHCpmmYy #
Back in the O-town #fb #
I'm at Ottawa MacDonald-Cartier International Airport (YOW) (Ottawa, ON) w/ 6 others http://t.co/V0nNAulW #
Seems there's an extra person on this flight and the airline can't figure out who it is #hilarityensues #fb #
They're playing Todd Rungren on the Toronto Island ferry. I now feel very old that I recognize his voice. #fb #
3 hrs sleep, 300 situps, 5k run, and a carby breakfast of boiled eggs, sweet potatoes, plantains and chick peas #fb http://t.co/TE1gOr6L #
Finally listening to the Beach Boys' "SMiLE", which was recorded in 1967but not released until last year. Eerie. http://t.co/2il8KSC7 #
Taking a moment to re-experience Big Star, the greatest pop band you've never heard of. There's even cow bell. http://t.co/ZgJBAJZE #fb #
What Sex Ed should be http://t.co/q8FmFq1n #
The Primary Difference Between Mayonnaise and Miracle Whip http://t.co/OPC5yknw #fb #
Hey, it's Cinco de Mayo! #burrito #fb #
Just caught the "History" channel's "Ancient Aliens" show for the first time. I am now 10% stupider for the experience. #
Latest sign of middle age: the need to shave my ears. #fb #
Best comment: "Them white boys so bad, they sampled THEMSELVES." http://t.co/aZz3XAst #MCA #fb #
Wow: UOttawa REB now recommends using FluidSurveys (Canadian) instead of SurveyMonkey (US), since the latter is subject to Patriot Act #fb #
Absinthe tastes like a combination of ouzo, aspartame and after-shave lotion. #fb #
Anyone know of any SPSS alternatives for Android? #fb #
5k run followed by boiled eggs, sweet potatoes and plantains #inventingnewdietfad #fb http://t.co/OL3N0UYU #
The Star Wars Kid grew up http://t.co/BYPic3iy #fb #
Enjoying my late night banana. (Get your minds out of the gutter.) #fb #
That's right. The Avengers are also awesomely sexy. http://t.co/gQ98fRib #fb #
“Well I got to keep it going keep it going full steam/ Too sweet to be sour too nice to be mean" -MCA #fb #
The dude who taught me to play chess… 38 years ago. #fb http://t.co/o2c7vOun #
Adam Yauch is dead? #WTF #fb #
There's a toddler running about this restaurant, screaming at random patrons. How cute. #not #fb #
About to meet up with a friend I haven't seen in 36 years… #fb #
I'm at Friendly Greek Restaurant (Toronto, Canada) http://t.co/YVCfhZ8i #
There's a blond dude with long hair on subway dressed as Batman, but no mask. I think he thinks he's Thor. #fb #
I'm at Mucho Burrito (Toronto, ON) http://t.co/WbkhfOYp #
Just saw The Avengers. Awesome! #fb #
Today's lunch: chili and absinthe #fb #
Things I did not need to see: seriously overweight granny on subway, wearing hot pants and bikini top. Sitting with legs asunder #blind #fb #
300 situps, 5k run, and a carby Guyanese breakfast of cassava and plantains. I think the latter nullifies the first two. #fb #
"Stittsville" just doesn't sound like a happening place. Now, if you removed the first "S"…. #fb #
Meanwhile, at the legion of doom…. #fb #
Inbox down to 87, and it's before 2:AM. That's a good time to turn my attention to cartoons for the rest of the night. #fb #
A reply to us grammar nazis… but all the justifications seem to be "it's right because lots of people do it": http://t.co/jWELEUqH #fb #
Another sign of my hardcore geekotry: my vegetable crisper is filled with a soldering iron, glue gun and hex keys. #fb #
Why doesn't MGM make more Stargate shows? Huh? Why? #fb #
More surprising photos of myself on the 'Net. Mmmmm, sexy… http://t.co/LmyGCtWq #fb #
Shackleford Hurtmore's World: Invention of the Day: A Anti-Pedants Dictionary http://t.co/mSFZComQ #fb #
Always fun finding old photos of yourself on the 'Net http://t.co/bMsWV3qy #fb #
Back in T'ranna, byatches #fb #
I'm at Bridgehead (Ottawa, Canada) http://t.co/82pLeKNu #
Another paper completed and submitted. YAWN. #fb #
Watching a documentary on the Crusades while doing surgery on a wonky computer. In my underwear. Yep, this is how I pictured middle age. #fb #
I'm at Thomson http://t.co/mnWpTO6k #
Ahhh, 9am meetings after 3 hours of sleep… #fb #
Search terms driving traffic to my blog today: "unsimulated oral sex." #fb #
One massive task done. One massive task to go. Both due in the morning. #fb #
May be attending this: "Global governance for health: Perspectives from Canada" http://t.co/4iJfW4JD #fb #
Frustration: http://t.co/sxvRtacx #fb #
Why is only one of my sideburns grey? That's just weird. #fb #
:0 #fb #
Five Reasons to Choose an Android Tablet Over an iPad http://t.co/XUGocgDP #fb #
Another sign I need more sleep: trying to open my condo door with the car keys #fb #
I've had my new 7" Chinese knock-off Android tablet for 30 minutes… and it's already broken. #fb #
"16 years ago, there was no Facebook, no Google, and a tweet was something Barbara Walters gave her dog." -Jimmy Kimmel #fb #
I'm at DHL Express http://t.co/kkFGt0Wz #

Separated at Birth, part 21

Raywat — Sat, 05 May 2012 19:26:07 +0000

For part 20, click here.

Giorgio Tsoukalos, obsessed with ancient aliens.

Londo Mollari, an actual alien.

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Raywat — Wed, 02 May 2012 05:07:08 +0000

Weekly Twitter Tweets for 2012-04-30

Raywat — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 13:38:00 +0000

Via Rail vodka caesars are the best vodka caesars. #fb #
Argh! Why is it that the dumbest people are always the ones talking loudly on their mobiles? #fb #
Thinking of growing a set of Wolverine sideburns. Thoughts? #fb #
On via 76 leaving London. Yayyyy! #fb #
I'm calling it now: the Avengers movie is going to be AWESOME. Why? Because the Avengers are AWESOME. #thingsthatareAWESOME #fb #
Conference is over, yet I'm still stuffinf myself on free food. How did this happen? #fb #
Why do members of indie bands always have facial hair? (Even the women.) #fb #
"The one from whose house is from the glass does not to the others be throwing of some stones." -Egyptian speaker #loveit #fb #
Someone in France just got to my blog by Googling, "weirdest petite teen porn free movie." I'm not sure how either. #fb #
Let's see Gwyneth Paltrow do this: http://t.co/gYsYYaO1 #fb #
Bah. #fb #
London (Ont) motto: "Come for business, stay for LIFE." NOOOOOO! #fb #
Banquets should be for eating, not speechmaking. Yeah, I said it. #fb #
The solution to longwinded banquet presentations: 4 gins and tonic. #fb #
Just broke my long standing health rule and entered both the hotel pool and hot tub… oh dear. #petridish #fb #
Gwyneth Paltrow raps. http://t.co/2HpE7kAs #fb #
Experimental tie photo #2 I have urge to be nekkid now. #fb http://t.co/Hybs1xAc #
Today's experiment: wearing a tie. Jury is still out on this one. #fb #
I'm at London Convention Center (London, ON) http://t.co/ugOAxuLu #
My generation had men on the Moon. The last generation had the Internet. The present one has… the 5-blade razor. #fb #
No, I don't want to play. But is funny: Rock, Scissors, Balls. http://t.co/4t5zogJw #
This is brilliant: Diablo Cody as eulogist http://t.co/juqzcefe #
Today's search terms driving traffic to my blog: "corporal punishment muscle" and "keira knightley's ass" #fb #
Most awesomely weird entertainment at conference: this dude drumming to 80s dance music on his boom box. #fb http://t.co/L1tBd4vc #
People suck. Especially the one's who don't. #fb #
I'm at London Convention Center (London, ON) http://t.co/CAF2egqh #
Dear UWO: renaming yourself "Western U" just makes everyone wonder why you're in the Eastern half of Canada. #fb #
I may have lived here for 6 years, but I have zero nostalgia for the place #London Ont) #fb #
Raywat's Law #38 Packages are only ever delivered to your home when you're out of town. #fb #
So far at this conference, I've been offered: a job, a date and a grad student. Sadly, the above aren't all the same person. #fb #
Past @csebsceb president Colin Soskolne is presently speaking at Transcending Borders http://t.co/gfVe0SNp #
Google may be our evil overlords, but they are cool as all frakk. Goole "zerg rush" without the quotes. Now. #fb #
Attention anyone awaiting an email response from me: I'm instituting an email embargo until Sunday! #fb #
Herpes: the love bug. #fb #
:Twitter haiku 324 – "What do you call an / Alaskan monotone whine? / Sarah Palindrone" #fb #
Native blessing ceremonies are lovely. But as opening rites for science conferences, where religion has little to no place? #fb #
TV is the only place where people address their sisters as, "Sis." #fb #
One more paper completed and submitted… #fb #
Reliving 2009: climbing the Great Pyramid of Cheops with @Openattitude http://t.co/U4yA6XRv #fb #
Reliving a lame comedy routine filmed with @Openattitude in 2009 in the Great Temple of Karnak in Egypt http://t.co/umIyaXt5 #fb #
For all you n00bs… stop asking me questions about The Avengers and just read this http://t.co/jtN3wOg5 #fb #
Dear Yahoo Messenger: f**k off and goodbye, you annoying piece of bloatware. #fb #
The good: got a call to be interviewed by CBC. The bad: I just got off the train and have been drinking all day. The ugly: me. #fb #
Oh, London, Ontario. How I have not missed thee. #fb #
On Via 85 to London? I won't even ask. No one else is going to London. Ever. #fb #
Why is Union station so cold? #fb #
Watching a Neil Degrasse Tyson lecture marathon on youtube #hero #fb #
Tragedy averted… almost dropped my phone down the toilet of a moving train! #fb #
About to board Via41 (first class, of course) to Toronto. Anyone else here? #fb #
Got to be at the train station by 5:AM. Should I bother going to bed? #fb #
The greatest thing you'll see all day: http://t.co/82CNKs9x #
So sad when the students graduate every year and leave. *Sniff* #fb http://t.co/vRnLDa5W #
After much thought and deliberation, I've come to the conclusion that underboob is more powerful than sideboob. Go tell the people. #fb #
Wow, greyhound buses are now spacious, with wifi and AC outlets? #slummingit #fb #
I'm calling it now. A bus station at midnight might just be the worst possible place to have a migraine. #fb #
On my way back to Ottawa. Who wants to entertain me at…. er… 2am? #fb #
Poster above urinal in Montreal train station. I'm not quite sure what he's reaching for. #fb http://t.co/yZWYNcwY #
Oh. My. God. http://t.co/1Nl6NNne. #fb #
On Via 36 to Montreal, suckas #fb #
Geeks. http://t.co/9kGcDq6I. #fb #
Even on this cold, wet day, the fashion gods have seen fit to pepper my field of view with tights and leggings. Bless you, fashion gods. #fb #

I Hate @!#$! London

Raywat — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 03:21:06 +0000

…London, Ontario. Not London, UK.

I lived in London, Ontario, for six years in graduate school, and hated every bleeding second. That was more than a decade ago, and I still hate that armpit of a city. I’m back there right now for a conference. Believe me, I have no nostalgia for this horrid, horrid place.

I’m staying at the Hilton. Yes, that Hilton. The one that pours change into Paris Hilton’s bottomless and pointless purse. The staff here is pleasant. But this is turning out to be one of the worst hotel experiences of my life.

It’s now past 11:pm. I’m up late writing my talk for tomorrow. But let me break down the events of my stay here…

First within minutes of checking into my room, the maid shows up wanting to clean the room. Um, I just got here.

This morning at 8:30AM, another maid bangs on my door, wanting to clean the room. It’s 8:30AM! What hotel guest is ever up at 8:30AM?

All day, there are loud drilling noises coming from the room next door.

My bathroom sink does not produce cold water, only hot. Scalding hot. Ever try brushing your teeth with scalding hot water? I don’t recommend it.

I settled into my room at 9:00pm, hoping to order some room service and get some work done. Guess what? My room service menu is missing from the room. So I drag on my coat and head out into the London night to find some food. But every fast food place I find is CLOSED.

Finally, I find a Chinese restaurant that’s filled with people. So I go in. I’m promptly told that they, too, are closed. Interesting that their lights are on, their door is open, and there are people in there eating. Yet they are closed.

So I return to the hotel room, call the front desk and ask them to bring me a room service menu.

Half an hour later, the menu has not arrived. So I call back. There is no answer.

Ten minutes later, I call back and get a human being and demand a room service menu. Ten minutes later, it arrives.

By that point, though, I’m pretty pissed off. So a Facebook friend goes online and finds me a Thai restaurant that will deliver to the hotel.

So I get on the phone and order a Thai meal. That was 40 minutes ago. It is now almost 11:30 pm. I’ve been now trying to get a meal in London for 3 hours.

Man, how I hate this frakking place.

Naomi Watts…

Raywat — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 21:07:34 +0000

…is 44? Damn, she looks good.

But I don’t understand why her mouth is almost always open. Is this acting?

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm4083194112/nm0915208
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1588169216/nm0915208
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3107428352/nm0915208
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2031392768/nm0915208
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3080362240/nm0915208
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm4049639680/nm0915208
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1426561024/nm0915208
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm878811392/nm0915208

Yes, I’m bored.

Separated at Birth, part 20

Raywat — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 04:40:26 +0000

For part 19, click here.

Everyone seems to look like Rob Lowe.

First is Ian Somerhalder:

Next is Zac Efron (on the left):

And lastly is none other than Brad Pitt. And yes, that’s Rob Lowe on the right: