RIP: Sue Jane

It is with great sadness that I report the death of a friend, Ms. Sue Jane, who lost her battle with cancer this past Saturday. Sue was an astonishingly beautiful woman, both physically and spiritually, who leaves behind a husband and an infant daughter. For those of you who knew Sue and who are in Australia, a funeral service is being held at St. John’s Anglican Church, 86 Clendon Road, Toorak, Victoria, this Friday May 20th at 10:30 a.m.

I used to make fun of Sue for her Australian pronunciation of Star Wars, which usually ended up sounding something like, “staaah woes.” But I will certainly never watch those movies the same way again. The photo below is of Sue and her husband Oscar. If the hit count is too high, Geocities will prevent you from seeing the picture. If that happens, just try again in a few hours.

Popo Bawa = Ass Goblin

Those are some words I never thought I’d write in my blog. And no, the Ass Goblin isn’t one of Spiderman’s many foes. Rather, “he” is Popo Bawa, a paranormal entity that supposedly haunts the Indian Ocean, including the Utopian isle of Zanzibar. According to many stories that have hit the newswires in the past 24 hours, islands in the Indian Ocean are preyed upon by a cryptozoologic beast called Popo Bawa who is a “bat-like ogre said to prey on men, women and children” or a “sodomizing gremlin.”

“Ass goblin” is funnier.

In all seriousness, many of the reports resemble common experiences of “sleep paralysis”, which I discussed in a previous Bulletin entry (see Nov 25, 2004). Everything, of course, except the sodomy.

For those of you in Ottawa, don’t forget tonight’s Asian Heritage Month literary evening. It’s at the main public library at 120 Metcalfe from 6-9pm. There will be food!

Goodbye, Opus Mine

In celebration of the upcoming Star Wars film, I give you this extremely geeky website dedicated to Princess Leia’s bikini: www.leiasmetalbikini.com. Enjoy!

In my neverending quest for fame, it was heartening to discover that I was quoted in an Oxfam newsletter.

And now the bad news….

Due to financial contraints, my publisher can no longer afford to keep all the copies of my first book in storage. So all but 200 copies will be pulped in 3 weeks. I have agreed to purchase much of the outstanding stock, but it still sucks to see one of my life’s greatest achievments literally reduced to its base elements.

Impotence Is Not Infertility

Well looky looky, a British memo says that “intelligence and facts were being fixed” by the Bush administration to manufacture a war in Iraq. We all know this already, but finally there’s some proof. Bet you $5 nobody cares, ’cause Britney Spears is pregnant or something.

Now, as I live in Canada, home of lax drug laws, this is not an issue for me. But I remember my brief stint in the capital of the American Imperium, where random drug testing was rapidly becoming the norm. So, for those of you of a particular vulnerable demographic, I present the Whizzinator. What is it, you ask? It’s a fake penis filled with urine. Yes, you read that right.

Lord Vadum sends us this story about a man in Italy who was successfully sued by his wife for concealing from her his impotence before marriage. The court ruled that he must pay her damages for eroding her right to have a family. This is just ridiculous. Erectile dysfunction is a proper reason for divorce, certainly. But the man is not infertile, he is impotent. He can still procreate… with a bit of assistance. This is a travesty.

On a completely unrelated topic, I attended the kick-off ceremony for Asian Heritage Month in Parliament two days ago. All the usual blowhard politicians were present, which was fascinating considering that the government is due to fall in a matter of days. There was equal representation from most of the major political parties (I think the Bloc was notably absent). But Jim Karygiannis, Libral MP for Scarborough-Agincourt, unbelievably commented, “My father, an immigrant, said to me recently, ‘Jim I’m proud that you’re an MP and proud that you’re a Liberal… because this Conservative-Bloc alliance is tearing the country apart!'”

Now, no one dislikes the Conservative party of Canada more than me. (Well, there are many people who dislike them more than me, but they don’t own this website.) But, come on, is a cultural event really the appropriate venue to be launching into political attacks? Of course, he was met with a round of boos, which I’m sure made all the nervous cultural performers quite at ease as they waited to get on stage. Sheesh. Bunch of squabbling kids.

But the afternoon was saved by the spectacular dance performance of my friend, the lovely Dr. Radha Jetty, whose poise, grace and rhythm were truly moving. Here’s a pic of Radha in all her glory:

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