“When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule.” Yep, that’s what a radical Christian anti-abortion activist said on the Alan Colmes radio show. Listen to the whole feed here.

Here’s one of the many money quotes from the interview: “If it’s warm and if it’s damp and it vibrates, you might in fact have sex with it.”

Which reminds me of an old one:

Q: What’s a Redneck’s version of Safe Sex?
A: Mark all the livestock that kick.

A comment on hit the nail on the head, regarding the mindset of the radical far-right Christian: “I was a filthy dirty bastard until I found Jesus, therefore all you people who don’t accept Him into your hearts must be filthy dirty bastards too.”