A Round of Wedgies (On Me)

It always amazes me whom democratic nations end up electing as their leaders. If we’d known George Bush or Paul Martin in public school, for example, we’d have been giving them daily wedgies. They’re not smart enough to be intellectual leaders. They’re not cool enough to be social leaders. Martin might be shrewd enough to be a sort of power-courting capo, but Bush sure isn’t. Clearly, both these men ascended to power afloat the almighty inflating dollar. It’s not a coincidence that they’re both multi-millionaires from millionaire families. I’m really tired of the rule of artistocrats in the West. I’d much prefer rule by the enlightened elite; we should encourage every Nobel prizewinner to run for public office.

Speaking of Bush, did you know that under his adminstration, officials can now read citizens’ private mail whenever they choose? Who was it who once wrote something to the effect that, “of course America will experience fascism, but we will call it democracy”?

And for all my troll fans, the ones who so enjoy the taste of Republican penis in their mouths that they insist on peppering my inbox and blog space with anonymous insulting content, I give you this. Your hero, George W. Bush, has now made it illegal for you to make such comments anonymously. So go ahead and fax me your drivers licences. It’s the law. (I believe it is spelled I-R-O-N-Y.)

The Canadian election campaign trundles along. Bloc Quebecois leader Gilles Duceppes is proving again and again that he is, well, wacky. Not that it matters what I think, since all the Bloc cares about is seats in Quebec, and I’m pretty sure there are no francophone separatists reading this blog. (But I could be wrong.) John J. sends us a couple of Duceppes quotes:

"If there are poor children then it defenitely means that their parents are also poor"

"The difference between 1000 and 1 is exactly 999"

Can’t put anything past that guy!

As for Stephen Harper…. Well, allow me to offer one bit of advice to all the other parties. Want to beat Harper? Remind Canadians that if Harper were Prime Minister in 2003, he would have sent Canada to war in Iraq against the wishes of the majority of Canadians, and our youth would still be coming home in body bags. Forget the promises of tax cuts, law and order, daycare payments and the like. Such colossal lack of foreign policy good sense, and such an acute inability to understand the moral position of most Canadians on this matter, should automatically disqualify him from the nation’s highest seat.