The Bench Recognizes The One-Eyed Gentleman In The Turtleneck

In my neverending quest to convince the world of my heterosexuality, I strive to collect digital proof of my association with attractive women. So, to the left, here I am at that Indian Canadian Chamber of Commerce BBQ I blogged about a few days ago, pestering the heck out of one of its other attendees.

Speaking of shmoozing events, I was fortunate two nights ago to attend the gala celebrations of National Aboriginal Day in Ottawa. Given recent anti-Aboriginal comments by supporters of the Conservative federal government and the government’s dismantling of the Kelowna Accords, I was curious to see if there would be any official representation from the government present. Well, the bureaucracy was well represented, as were other nations –indeed, the honourary Chair of the event was the very humourous High Commissioner from New Zealand– but no official member of the Conservative regime was identified, though maybe I was just too drunk to notice one. But if my survey of the room was accurate, this does not bode well for Aboriginal affairs in this country. Mind you, I hear that the Prime Minister did do some ceremonial stuff elsewhere.

Now remember, this site no longer carries what used to be called “the daily perv link”. Why? Because by linking to news items of disturbing acts, some people misinterpret my intentions. (Of course, my intentions are well displayed on the official disclaimer.) So, whatever you do, don’t click here. (And if you do, remember: that’s not why they call it “puppy love.”)

Now here’s an interesting news item. The US Appeals Court has rejected use of the “penile plethysmograph” test, which is a test involving the use of a device which measures a penis’s responses to certain visual stimuli presented to its owner. Why would someone do this? Well, if I show you a photo of a pre-pubescent boy and your willy wobbles, it’s supposed to suggest that you have paedophilic tendencies.

I for one –not surprisingly– applaud the US courts for their decision. This device is right out A Clockwork Orange or Orwell. It purports to measure the mind of an individual, and then to institute legal consequences for what it supposedly finds in that mind. Nothing can be more anathema to the concept of a free society.

And let’s not even discuss whether the machine actually works. As any owner of a penis knows, the bloody thing can be unpredictable at times; sometimes, like the French, going on strike for no discernible reason; and sometimes, like a housecat, arbitrarily deciding that now is the time to get up and move around. I’d hate to have my penis as my primary character witness in any criminal court case.

In other news, India Currents Magazine has published my article on “The False War Between Civilizations”, which began here as a blog post.