The Unkindest Cut

I’m watching a French cartoon right now, in which our French hero travels to Scotland. The weird part is hearing French actors speak French with feigned Scottish and English accents! Beeeezarre!


Okay, looky what I found this morning at the much proclaimed online home of Canadian “conservative” thought, the Western Standard Blogs:

“Canadian Natives are fat Neanderthals living of the WAPs (White Anglo Persons). White Anglos must start organizing to fight for our rights. We are the down-trodden now. Wake up. Between Quebec, the Indians, the Muslims and the Leftist haters, we are screwed. It’s time to fight back!” –Yanni

I know, it’s like someone is doing performance art in the guise of a stereotypical bigot; but I guess stereotypes come from somewhere, huh?

I have reproduced “Yanni”‘s drivel here, not to list yet another example of that disgusting site’s evolution into a home for troglodytes, but rather to point out a phenomenon that may be obvious to many, but that nonetheless needs saying: the reason the extreme Right and extreme Left will never get along is that they are essentially identical, and those who preach hatred always hate themselves most. “Yanni”‘s post screams victimhood, a label most often applied to the Left. And indeed the extreme Left is rightly condemned for its penchant for blaming “The Man” for every ill that befalls the seaon’s favoured minority. Where the extreme Left and Right diverge is in their disagreement on which group has endured the most/worst/loudest victimization.


For those of you living under rocks (or in Timmins, Ontario… same diff), the head of the World Bank, Paul Wolfowitz, is in hot water for serious ethics violations. Wolfowitz was one of the chief neocons of the Bush II reign, and an author of the retarded War of Global Domination… sorry, Global War on Terror.

EK Hornbeck has expressed surprise that no prominent anti-Conservatives in Canada have expressed more public disappointment in how this country’s government is one of the few (of three, I think) World Bank members to continue to support Wolfowitz. Harper’s refusal to demand the former Bushite’s resignation is seen as irrational toadyism to Bush himself. More on this here.

What does the army of droogs out in Deonandia-space think of all this?

The Unkindest Cut

I miss my foreskin, I really do. It was taken from me without my consent and at great personal distress (I imagine). As I approach middle age, I’m convinced that every square millimetre of erectile tissue is worth triple its weight in platinum, and odds are that I will desperately need those few flaccid milligrams in a few years.

I never realized I was missing anything –since this generation of Canadians is populated almost exclusively by the helmeted set– until one day in youth I caught a glimpse of the Greek neighbour’s toddler son naked and uncut, and I exclaimed aloud, “What’s wrong with his?!” My father then took me aside to explain the horrific mutilation they had forced upon me and my brothers.

Okay, the baby-arm-holding-an-apple look has more character and visual charm than the baby-elephant-trunk or the tube-snake-in-a-turtleneck. But visual appeal aside, why do we non-semites do this to our sons? The semites do it for religion. But for the rest of us, the common argument is hygiene. And it’s true: circumcised men who do not practise good penile hygiene are far more likely to transmit sexual diseases, including HIV, to their partners.

As a result of this statistic, medical professionals in many countries, especially those with high HIV rates, are seriously discussing mandating the circumcision of every male child as a public health measure. I have a serious problem with this.

I believe it is an individual and a family’s right to cut or not to cut, though I would argue against it if asked my opinion. But to require the de-collaring of a shlong is another matter entirely, one which every civil libertarian should be concerned about. The analogy of vaccination is oft brought up in support of this Draconian proposal. We require the medical alteration of bodies through immunization as a public health measure, after all, so why not circumcision?

Well, vaccination simulates a natural process. It’s “shooting practice” for your immune system for when it does come into contact with an evil pathogen. Vaccination augments and props up the body’s innate defence mechanisms, at least in principle and philosophy. Circumcision, however, is quite the opposite: it’s the removal of a natural part of the body, thereby constituting mutilation; and there is evidence that this actually harms rather than helps the child.

Specifically, there is some evidence that circumcision without anaesthetic (which is commonly done at a very young age) impels a lower pain threshold throughout life. Furthermore, the lack of a foreskin may cause something called “keratinization”, in which the glans (or head) of the penis gradually becomes desensitized over time; in short, circumcision reduces sexual pleasure in the long run. There is, of course, also the small but real danger of botched circumcisions, which are genuinely horrific and life-ruining events.

Other analogies include appendectomies and tonsillectomies. But is anyone really advocating for the mandatory removal of one’s appendix and tonsils at birth? Why not laser blast all hair follicles while we’re at it? Or install a colostomy bag right away, so we’ll never have to worry about colon cancer, hemorrhoids or deforestation due to toilet paper overuse?

Lastly, consider this: what if it were shown that female circumcision also conferred a significantly reduced rate of STD and HIV transmission? Would the medical world be in as much of a rush to advocate mandatory female circumcision, too? The two procedures are not similar, I agree; we generally consider the female variety to be barbaric because it eliminates sexual pleasure. But if it’s true that male circumcision also reduces sexual pleasure, how is this then more moral?

As a society, we are becoming increasingly trigger happy with the “banning” and “mandatory this and that” guns. Instead of mandating circumcision to reduce STD transmission, why not mandate penile hygiene?

Suddenly I’m thinking back to that scene in Europa Europa. You know the one.