The "Get A Grip" Category

Got some random stuff for you today, so let’s begin…

In the “get a grip” category, we have this story, about an idiot Connecticut high school teacher who heard the school’s teenaged custodian singing Guns’N’Roses’ Welcome To The Jungle over the public address system… and immediately called the cops because she thought the teen was threatening her. Sheesh.

Also in the “get a grip” category is this story about a park official in England who prevented a couple from photographing their own fully clothed daughter sitting on a swing, citing concerns over paedophilia. One MP quipped something to the extent that now they should be legislating “Common Sense”. Egads, England, what has become of ye?

The MP was Phil Woolas and his actual quote was, “We are in danger of becoming so adverse to risk we will lose sight of common sense.” This sentiment can be extended to other modern practices beyond just photographing one’s child. Um….War on Terror, anyone?

Continuing in the “get a grip” theme, we have this story about the Swedish military removing the penis from the lion on their heraldic insignia. Apparently it was “offending” the female soldiers. I mean, really. Do the boobs on Lady Justice offend male lawyers? Oh yeah, I guess they do.

Removing the penis from the lion on the coat of arms. Sigh. As one Fark.com commenter put it it, “That’s the perfect metaphor for the state of Old Europe’s armed forces.”

And before someone dares draw a hypocritical parallel between the changing meaning of the lion penis symbol and the changing meaning of the red poppy (discussed yesterday), there’s a qualitative difference between the two issues. The lion penis has not been co-opted by political forces to sway public support for a political agenda; its disappearance is simply the result of a vocal, moralistic minority being irrationally offended by anatomy.

Speaking of animal bits, I’ve made no secret of my carnivorous ways. I have also made no secret of my vegetarian tendencies. See, I love meat. And given my muscle-based fitness approach, my body craves animal protein. However, I still feel that a vegetarian lifestyle is morally superior in a number of ways. Thus, I’ve been on the slow crawl toward adopting that lifestyle in its entirety for several years now. I’ll probably get there just before I die. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the thing that ends up killing me! And indeed, I am a strict vegetarian, once removed: I only eat animals who themselves were vegetarians. See how that works?

In any case, in honour of our vegetarian brethren, I thought I’d share with you the results of GoVeg.com‘s Sexiest Vegetarians Next Door contest, from both 2006 and 2007. The female winner from 2006 was none other than Toronto’s own Stephanie McColl, pictured below:

And this year, the female winner was South Carolina’s goth-tastic Jessica Comolli.

See what I mean? Cornbread and tofu can do wonders with a little help from genetics, Estee Lauder, the local gym and our friends from Photoshop.

What’s that you say? The men? Who cares? Go look ’em up yourselves.