Look What I Pulled Out Of My Icehole

Remember this post? Apropos of that…

OK, let’s begin…

1. The Top Ten Teacher Sex Scandals of 2007. Thank Zod someone is keeping track of this stuff!

2. The greatest, stupidest, teen movie of the 80s, Real Genius, is finally getting a sequel. Too bad, 22 years later, Val Kilmer is too fat to play a convincing sex symbol:

Wait a second…. that’s my bod!

3. Speaking of celebrities being less than they could, check out this gallery of celebs, before and after Photoshop! Mind you, the future ex-Mrs-Dr Deonandan, aka Naomi Watts, looks quite fine sans augmentation.

4. Animal activists are up in arms (and fins) over these photos of Beluga whales being adorned with Santa hats at a Japanese aquarium. Mind you, given a choice between looking foolish in a hat or being served as sushi….well….

5. In continuing proof that England is actually a fictitious country existing only in storybooks and Dr Who episodes, comes this story about an innocent couple being forced to host the house arrest of a convicted criminal, because the criminal wrote down their address as his home! Oh those wacky Brits. According to the article, the miscreant said, “I’m staying here until the tag’s off. There’s f**k all you can do about it. The courts have told me to.”

Well, in the words of one Fark.com commenter, “Yeah sport, there IS fark all I can do about it. I can beat your dumb ass and toss you out. Alternatively, I could beat your dumb ass and toss you out. WTF is wrong with these people?”

6. Also from Fark.com comes this story about a woman being (rightly) thrown in jail for continuously verbally abusing her gay neighbour, who works as a “drag artist”. Two reasons for linking to this story: (a) check out the photo; is that the woman or the “drag artist”? And (b) “drag artist”? WTF? Since when is wearing gaudy makeup and second-hand women’s clothing an art?

7. Chinese ladies like it in the ice hole. It’s true.

8. According to this ridiculous story, Britons (those residents of that fictitious land referenced above) are less healthy that their medieval forebears. Right. Well, to quote another Fark.com regular, I’d rather live a long life of obesity and cholesterol poisoning than die at 22 of tooth decay.

9. Well, we all saw this coming. Or at least Pat Robertson and Rick Santorum did. Sure, normalize homosexuality and the next thing you’ll see is people boinking animals! Well, as the rigorous studies on this blog have shown, ain’t nothing too rare about that ‘neither. So where does that leave us? What can possibly outrage we last few remaining decent law-abiding, Jesus-loving, Nixon voters? Today’s Daily Perv Link (TM) features a fellow who has discovered the joys of pavement love. Yep. Pavement love.

10. Let’s end on a serious note, shall we? Eco-warrior George Monbiot takes exception to the Bali Deal, and has no kind words for Al Gore.