Weekly Twitter Tweets for 2011-07-25

  • "I thought the US debt crisis might be exaggerated. But I opened up a fortune cookie, and it said, 'We own you.'" -Gary Shandling #fb #
  • Less than one hour until Tokyo stock market opens… will there be a new US debt deal by then? #fb #
  • RT @EliBraden: 3-year-old son just held up handful of play dollar bills and said "Who needs cost of money?" What an idiot! #
  • Just realized my George Foreman Grill will turn 17 this month. Thanks for almost 2 decades of crispy, low-fat carcinogens! #fb #
  • Smell that? That's bacon, bitches! #fb #
  • "I was a Catholic once. Then I got better." -the hot doctor on Torchwood: Miracle Day #fb #
  • On via 639 to Ottawa. Anyone else here? #fb #
  • "Until the iPad can actually blow me, the iPad can blow me." -Bill Maher #fb #
  • As well as douchebags "@factlets: Single women are more attracted to men who are already in a committed relationship. http://t.co/vq00NZC" #
  • On via 632 to Montreal. Anyone else here? #fb #
  • I'm at VIA Rail – Ottawa Station (200 Tremblay Rd, Ottawa) http://4sq.com/rssXY6 #
  • Is it just me, or does Anders Behring Breivik look a LOT like Chevy Chase? #fb #
  • My 2:AM scooter ride is ruined by loud drunks in cars #fb #
  • Why are there fighter jets overhead? #fb #
  • Now barbecuing salmon steaks marinated in lemon juice and olive oil. I'm a grilling machine! #fb #
  • The new watburger: turkey breast, dijon mustard, sunflower seeds, horseradish, egg, psyllium husks, salt, black pepper and olive oil. #fb #
  • Grilling turkey burgers on my roof. Who wants one? #fb #
  • Who loves ya, baby? #fb #
  • I'm at Desmarais Building – University of Ottawa (55 Laurier Ave E, Nicholas (University of Ottawa), Ottawa) http://4sq.com/qgjATE #
  • I'm at Heart & Crown – Market (67 Clarence St., at Parent Ave, Ottawa) http://4sq.com/nZF7OE #
  • Why are half of all the "Shark Tank" applicants pitching either ice cream or toys? #fb #
  • With both the Dollar and the Euro in crisis, should I be hoarding Rupees? #fb #
  • What's brown, got moobs, smells of bacon and does NOT have TB? This guy! #fb #
  • U of O health services is run by a confused bunch of people #fb #
  • I'm at University Of Ottawa – Health Sciences (43 Templeton St, Ottawa) http://4sq.com/qlTJYz #
  • So do I need to add lead to my sunscreen? #fb #
  • Finally, one small advantage to being short http://bit.ly/oV5Mbz #
  • Ahh, grilling steaks on my roof under the summer stars. Too bad I can still hear the drunken teenagers on the street below. #fb #
  • Deleting my old text messages counts as work, right? #fb #
  • "Shark Tank/Dragon's Den" is like "Let's Make a Deal" without the costumes. Um… you DO remember "Let's Make a Deal", right? #fb #
  • Bookin' massages like they're goin' outta style… #fb #
  • I'm gettin' CRAZY amounts done today, son! #fb #
  • After overdosing on "Shark Tank" and "Dragon's Den" I want to give up academia and invent a thingamajigger #fb #
  • Inbox is under 120… can I get it down to double digits before dawn? #fb #
  • The best part od working in the wee hours is having carte blanche to eat every 2 hours. #fb #
  • It's sad that I'm excited that Hell's Kitchen is back. #fb #
  • Enjoying listening to pompous undergrads explaining to the triage nurse what a Mantoux test is. I think she knows, numbnuts. #fb #
  • Waiting for a TB test while they pump Rick Astley songs into the waiting room. Strangely appropriate. #fb #
  • I'm at uOttawa Health Services (100 Marie Curie, Ottawa) http://4sq.com/qCw74c #
  • :Twitter haiku 298 – "Permanent moonbase / Will include family dog/ Named lunar rover" #fb #
  • The Apprentice (UK) made me a fan of Lord Sugar. But not so much after his tweets re: Rupert Murdoch. #
  • (Foolishly) watching "Men With Brooms". I thought Canadians were supposed to be funny? #fb #
  • Just got trapped in an elevator… WITH an elevator repair man. Seriously. #fb #
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