Weird Stuff You Can Buy on Amazon

The All-American Dog Mullet Hairband... yes it's available on Amazon

The All-American Dog Mullet Hairband… yes it’s available on Amazon

I’m fairly addicted to online shopping.  In fact, I have a bizarre relationship with my postal carrier. She knows that I often stay up late, get bored, and end up ordering random items off the internet… that she ends up delivering to me.

So we have a ritual.  Whenever she drops off a package, we open it together to see what weird and wonderful (usually useless) item I have ordered this time.

I buy these weird things on a variety of online sites, mostly Ebay.  But I thought you, dear reader, might also be interested in some of the more unusual items that are available on the mother of all online stores, Amazon.

It’s not just about Emergency Underpants.


Take a gander:

1. The gift of nothing.

2. Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure

3. Handerpants… underwear for your hands

4. An Emergency Inflatable Rubber Chicken… because you just never know

5. A mullet wig, for those quick trips to Northern Ontario

6. A commando party suit, in case you want to socialize but also blend in

7. The O’Reilly Factor for Kids… because it’s never too early to start being an asshole

8. Poopfreeze, for when you need to solidify that turd!

9. A yodelling pickle, because fermented vegetables should also be musically inclined

And lastly…

10. Inflatable toast… because it’s gluten-free