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Cornhole

If you’re old enough to remember this, then you’re old enough to hang out with me.

Here are supposedly the 50 most interesting articles on Wikipedia. As I stumbled upon this, I also found the single most addictive website for an information junkie like me: tvtropes.org.

So apparently there’s a game in Cincinnati called “Cornhole“. That’s right. And even a movie about it. Need I even comment? If you’re like me (and I know that you are), this is what first came to mind:

This guy agrees. Apparently, Bengals Quarterback Carson Palmer is a big proponent of playing “cornhole” with your children. There’s even a shockwave cornhole game.

The comments to this article about the game are priceless. Some samples:


"Cornhole" is the only name they could come up with? Good thing basketball didn't originate in Cinci or we might be watching game three of the "Rimjob" finals tonight.

I wonder when Hell's Kitchen will feature a salad tossing competition.

You know that Cornholed -- the Movie, has already been filmed and is "in the can".

Ebert & Roper gave it two thumbs in.

Is this anything like the Gloryhole Invitational?

Kids play this at birthday parties and whatnot in Chicago but it's called "beanbag toss".... Because we're not fuckin hicks, that's why.

My understanding is that in order to rack up killer cornhole scores, you have to have a a wide stance.

The game is especially exhiliarating when you come from behind.

The traditional snack during a game of cornhole is fudge. After the game, the participants pack everything up.

See? Deonandia is entertaining AND educational!

I leave you with this, put together by Facebook friend Graham S. about my recent adventure trying to get rid of the mushrooms infesting my houseplants:

Nuit Blanching

One of the joys of no longer living in my rapidly deteriorating apartment building is no longer having to deal with neighbours on the edge of sanity. In my final days in my old place, I was entertained by a series of notices places on the public board. The first, by management, encouraged dog owners to not allow their animals to urinate by the front door. A reasonable request, I thought, but one that elicited all sorts of irrational commentary from the menagerie of pooch-toting weirdos who cluster in that particular hovel. Perhaps you can make out some of the vitriol:


While I’m showing off the low-res crappy photos taken from my smartphone, dig this great decal I saw on the side of a car:

A couple of weekends ago (Oct 3), I attended nuit blanche in Toronto. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s a magnificent free evening, inspired by similar events in Europe, in which, from 7pm till dawn, the entire city is turned into an art installation.

I arrived with my curmudgeon hat squarely fitted to my blockhead, and roundly enjoyed mocking some of the sillier things I saw. But I cannot deny that the overall experience was magnificent. There were literally hundreds of exhibits spanning the entire city, with unlikely venues like shopping malls, grocery stores, sidewalks, parking lots, corner stores, private homes and alleyways all transformed into glittering art galleries.

My voyage through the night was one dipped in surrealism, as if I was exploring some trippy parallel universe or post-Apocalyptic meta-world. I was particularly impressed by four experiences:

(1) a continuous awards show in which any passerby can step onto the stage and be heralded for being a star

(2) the Drake Hotel’s use of its wall to project audience Twitter tweets, sent to the hash tag “#bumpinyournuit”. The lag time was so great that I was not able to see my own tweet (“Boogers! Boogers!”) Instead, I give you two images of other people’s tweets:


(3) Something called “The Apology Project“, wherein a battalion of weirdos with paper bags on their heads bump into you and apologize profusely, in a display of classic Canadian passive aggression.

(4) “Dance of the Cranes“, in which two construction cranes atop growing skyscrapers dance a synchronized ballet to classical music, beneath glittering, mesmerizing moonlight.

There are some better photos of the Crane Dance here.

Overall, Nuit Blanche was a wonderful experience, made more so for the spectacle of seeing hundreds of thousands of people peacefully shuffling about Toronto in the wee hours, engaging in somewhat intellectual explorations, all for free.

In Other News…

The Other Ray sends us Charles Darwin’s blog from the Beagle voyages. And P-Dawg sends us this, about the classic “3-body problem”. Yes, it’s nerd humour. If you don’t get it, too bad for you.

Blog? I Have A Blog?

Oh yeah, I have a blog! All this twittering and Facebookery have distracted me of late. What else? Oh yes, I just bought property! The horror and stress of adopting a mortgage has drained me of energy, such that the thought of creating cohesive blog-worthy sentences has been unappetizing.

But here I am. Where to begin? Oh yes, some random surfing brought me to this site:

Rochelle’s Japanese Experience

It’s relevant because Rochelle has used a photo of me in her post, clearly cobbed from this location. I don’t mind, really. I just think it’s funny.

Meanwhile, almighty Zod’s quest to prevent me from walking continues unabated. First, he dislodged a lumbar disc on my right side. Then he did so on my left side. Then he sent thugs to push me over in a cafe, bruising my knee and giving me a lip for several days. And now he got me drunk so I passed out on my floor in an awkward position, waking up with my disc herniated yet again. AUUUUGHHHH!

In yet more random news, my MicroSoft column will now be carried by MSN.ca. Yayyy, more readers!

Meanwhile, Cousin Ajay sends us news of Bebe Gloton, the breast-feeding doll. No comment.

And in other news, Chamika sends us the Best Che Guevara T-Shirt Ever:

Lastly, the Other Ray sends us… um… Christian porn.

That is all.

Pluggity Plug Plug

Today, it’s all about me!

There’s a new article up at Skiffy.ca. This time it’s a review of the really tremendously good Torchwood: Children of Earth miniseries.

My latest column is up at The MicroSoft website.

My most recent radio interviews are now archived on the reviews page (finally updated after 5 years of idleness).

And if you’re in Toronto this coming Friday, July 24th, come on down to Ryerson University where I will be judging the first ever SpeakOut Slam Poetry contest! I’m sure it will be a lot of fun, so don’t sit at home watching TV, come out and jeer –I mean support– your local slam poets.

In Other News…

Sean M. sends us The 10 Most Awesome In Search Of episodes. He also points us to the, um, Indian He-Man:

How can we top that? Well, how about news from The Other Ray that someone is claiming to have been impregnated from …wait for it… sperm from a swimming pool. Yeah.

Ray also sends us the following chart showing just which human broadcasts aliens are presently listening to. We’re all screwed; you know that, right?


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