Repository of Raywat Deonandan’s Twitter haikus (or “twaikus”), made famous from two “appearances” on CBC radio. Note that numbering is not precise, since I sometimes forget where I am in the list. There are actually six fewer haikus than the numbering scheme suggests. Follow me here:
Note as well, that this document constitutes my intellectual property and may not be altered without my express written permission. You may, however, duplicate and share without my permission, so long as complete attribution or citation is also provided, and so long as no monetary profit is made.
c. Raywat Deonandan 2009
:Twitter haiku 378 – “Subcutaneous / Treatment for bigger booty / Is only skin deep”
Feb 27, 2018 10:14am
:Twitter haiku 377 – “Teutonic actors / Play classical composers / Arnold: ‘I’ll be Bach.'”
Oct 24, 2015 8:11AM
:Twitter haiku 366 – “Breakfast cereal / Based on Roman history / Called Suentonios”
Mar 18, 2015 9:14am
:Twitter haiku 364 – “Gluten-free diet / Pisses off the status quo / Goes against the grain”
Sep 10, 2014 10:22am
:Twitter haiku 363 – “Hear ’bout that monkey / Who tried new things in college? / Bi-curious George”
Sep 6, 2014 6:47pm
:Twitter haiku 362 – “New video game / About taking a big crap / Named ‘Call of Doody'”
Aug 28, 2014 8:00pm
:Twitter haiku 361 – “Wake up in Mumbai / Glance at my nether region / Morning Bolly wood”
Aug 23, 2014 1:01pm
:Twitter haiku 360 – “Pigeon with ulcers / No hemorrhaging, can still sing / Makes a bloodless coo.”
Aug 11, 2014 7:27pm
:Twitter haiku 359 – “Snakes’ failure to mate / Herpetologists call a / Reptile dysfunction”
July 11, 2014 4:41pm
:Twitter haiku 358 – “Need to build an ark / To save pairs of animals? / Well I Noah guy”
May 18, 2014 12:04pm
:Twitter haiku 357 – “Got a tax receipt / For cash gave to atheist / He’s a non-prophet”
May 18, 2014 12:00pm
:Twitter haiku 356 – “Dreamed that my spice plant / Grew legs and went on a trip / A thyme traveller?”
Jan 30, 2014 9:50am
:Twitter haiku 355 – “The dog in the fight / Or fight in the dog; Is it / A chiasmus pet?”
Dec 5, 2013 11:40am
:Twitter haiku 354 – “An unnatural / Attraction to mashed chick peas / Hummusexual”
Dec 3, 2013 1:pm
:Twitter haiku 353 – “Narcoleptic thief / Was detained in mid-crime for / Resisting a rest”
Aug 31, 2013 1:27pm
:Twitter haiku 352 – “Old Egyptian king / Obsessed with water transport / Pharaoh Osmosis”
June 15, 2013 3:58am
:Twitter haiku 351 – “An Irish Mongol / Suff’ring from Hansen’s Disease / Is a Leper Khan”
June 8, 201 11:18pm
:Twitter haiku 350 – “In subcontinent / Bond ‘tween widow and chauffeur / Driving Miss Desi”
May 29, 2013 4:16pm
:Twitter haiku 349 – “Interpol starting / Mongol sting operation / Known as the ‘long khan'”
May 28, 2013 12:54am
:Twitter haiku 348 – “Chinese restaurants / Give new meaning to the phrase / “‘Take dog for a wok'”
May 22, 2013 12:18pm
:Twitter haiku 347 – “Enterprising monks / To sell Christian-themed wafers / Called ‘Pax Vo Biscuits'”
May 22, 2013 12:15pm
:Twitter haiku 346 – “Equivalent of / ‘Fly by the seat of your pants’ / Is ‘play it by rear'”
May 20, 2013 2:38pm
:Twitter haiku 345 – “Native woman ghost / Taught pioneers the two-step / She’s ‘Polka-Haunt-Us'”
May 19, 2013 1:42pm
:Twitter haiku 344 – “Castle engineer / Had water leakage issues / He was demoted”
May 5, 2013 1:25am
:Twitter haiku 343 – “I’m revealing now / That I’m a secret hoarder / Kept it to myself”
May 4, 2013 7:45pm
:Twitter haiku 342 – “If Sir Mix-a-Lot / Arrested for bad music / Would be a bum rap”
May 3, 2013 3:14am
:Twitter haiku 341 – “Mystic dice player / Threw hard after second throw / Opened his third die”
Feb 27, 2013 3:36pm
:Twitter haiku 340 – “Baker offended / When copied tart recipe / Labelled ‘retarted'”
Feb 5, 2013 10:40am
:Twitter haiku 339 – “Waffle chef shouted / As pregnant wife was kidnapped / ‘Leggo my preggo!'”
Jan 31, 2013 11:49pm
:Twitter haiku 338 – “Frog movie critic / Said of film: Adequate, but… / Wasn’t ribbitting”
Jan 22, 2013 11:17am
:Twitter haiku 337 – “Impotent midget / Died from too much Viagra / Now a little stiff”
Jan 9, 2013 1:50pm
:Twitter haiku 336 – “Dwarvish pot dealers / With Snow White trading favours / Oh, high ho, high ho.”
Dec 18, 2012 6:32pm
:Twitter haiku 335: “Aphasic critic / Intrigued by novel’s buttsex / Think he meant subtext?”
Dec 17, 2012 10:54pm
:Twitter haiku 334: “If mercy killing / For language re-ordering / Euthanaphasia”
Dec 17, 2012 10:24pm
:Twitter haiku 333: “Two Middle-Eastern / Mouse megalomaniacs / Pinky and Bahrain”
Dec 17, 2012 5:21pm
:Twitter haiku 332: “Man with deep knowledge / Of Spanish men named Peter / Is a pedrofile”
Nov 30, 2012 9:42pm
:Twitter haiku 331 – “An online resource / To describe Chinese cookware / Wokipedia”
Nov 22, 2012 4:52pm
:Twitter haiku 330 – “The arctic meeting / Of psychiatrists bollixed / Bipolar bears, natch.”
July 25, 2012 1:34pm
:Twitter haiku 329 – “Have a new name for / Sweat that drips down your backside / It’s ‘asspiration'”
July 24, 2012 2:27pm
:Twitter haiku 328 – “Makers of ‘Friendster’ / Starting new Egypt-themed site / Calling it, ‘Sphinxter'”
July 12, 2012 10:03pm
:Twitter haiku 327 – “New racist product / Gel for packing tight suitcase / They called it, ‘Pack-eaze'”
July 3, 2012 10:14pm
:Twitter haiku 326 – “My hypothesis: / India birthed first stoners / The big bhang theory”
June 18, 2012 9:14am
:Twitter haiku 325 – “Orville and Wilbur / Chinese impostors unmasked / They knew Wrights from Wongs”
May 27, 2012 4:12pm
:Twitter haiku 324 – “What do you call an / Alaskan monotone whine? / Sarah Palindrone.”
April 27, 2012. 9:19am
:Twitter haiku 323 – “Gypsy therapists / Offer odour-based treatments / Roma therapy”
April 2, 2012 2:53am
:Twitter haiku 322 – “Picard to Geordi / Re: broken robot seamstress / ‘La Forge… Make it sew.'”
March 13, 2012 9:10pm
:Twitter haiku 321 – “An attempt to mix / Food with phosphates caused me to / Lose my ‘apatite'”
March 13, 2012 9:04pm
:Twitter haiku 320 – “The advantage of / A detachable penis / It ‘comes’ in handy”
March 8, 2012 11:13am
:Twitter haiku 319 – “Sad online baker / Found that he couldn’t have his / Cake and tweet it too”
March 7, 2012 7:55pm
:Twitter haiku 318 – “Bono’s Twitter feed / Has a predictable flaw / The tweets have no name”
March 5, 2012 10:43am
:Twitter haiku 317 – “Their senses are bright / There, their senses are quite bright / They’re bright, their senses” #grammarday
March 2, 2012 6:14pm
:Twitter haiku 316 – “Alternate hist’ry / First cosmonaut a woman / Lady Gagarin”
Feb 27, 2012 2:15am
:Twitter haiku 315 – “When Harry Potter / Forgot to wear a condom / Genital Hogwarts”
Jan 30, 2012 2:pm
:Twitter haiku 314 – “Desi kangaroo / Taught to sell tea on the streets / A chai wallahby”
Jan 23, 2012 7:AM
:Twitter haiku 313 – “A one storey house / Flooded with backed up sewage / Call it, ‘bungalow'”
Dec 30, 2011 5:15pm
:Twitter haiku 312 – “Admiral Akbar / ‘Sound of Music’ cameo / ‘It’s a Von Trapp!'”
Dec 25, 2011 12:54pm
:Twitter haiku 311 – “North Korean prez / Passed after lengthy sickness / …He was Kim Jong ‘Ill'”
Dec 25, 2011 12:50pm
:Twitter haiku 310 – “An Indian Jew / Eats chick peas in December / Happy Channa-ka”
Dec 20, 2011 6:30pm
:Twitter haiku 309 – “Chunky prostitutes / You can eat them with a fork / But use a spoontang”
Dec 21, 2011 2:30pm
:Twitter haiku 308 – “Dead jazz pianist / Reborn as crooked rodent / Felonious Skunk”
Dec 15, 2011 9:18pm
:Twitter haiku 307 – “Got a new name for / A person who wastes my time / A real clock-sucker.”
Dec 8, 2011 3:24pm
:Twitter haiku 306 – “Name for those who like / Intimacy on subways… / Metrosexuals”
Oct 16, 2011 1:10am
:Twitter haiku 305 – “Writing a film script / About teachers in Belgrade / Name: ‘To Serb With Love'”
Sep 20, 2011 4:33pm
:Twitter haiku 304 – “Apple’s new product / To be made from cassava / Call it the ‘iPone'”
Sep 13, 2011 11:54am
:Twitter haiku 303 – “Punjabi porn stars / To specialize in group sex / Call it, ‘gang bhangra'”
Sep 10, 2011 3:33 pm
:Twitter haiku 302 – “Slow Indian chef / Failed his culinary test / Was too pappadum”
Aug 30, 2011 4:25 pm
:Twitter haiku 301 – “A little confused / By my account at sperm bank / How’d I get interest?”
Aug 30, 2011 9:54 am
:Twitter haiku 300 – “Vegetarian / Devil worshippers will pray / At Seitan’s tempeh”
Aug 3, 2011 11:18 pm
:Twitter haiku 299 – “Vegetarian / Followers of the devil / Seitan worshippers”
Aug 3, 2011 11:50am
:Twitter haiku 298 – “Permanent moonbase / Will include family dog/ Named lunar rover”
July 19, 2011 2:00pm
:Twitter haiku 297 – “Canada style change / New official animal / Is the, um, Bieber”
July 1, 2011 10:AM
:Twitter haiku 296 – “Indian airport / Shopping for tax-free clothing / Buying dhoti free”
June 4, 2011 1:20am
:Twitter haiku 295 – “Text of love note to / Xia Dynasty scholar / Just thinking of Yu”
Feb 28, 2011 12:32 am
:Twitter haiku 294 – “Text by spice merchant / Post-date with piquant honey / ‘I had a good thyme.'”
Feb 27, 2011 11:31am
:Twitter haiku 293 – “Thesaurus fails me / Need new term for Asian males / How ’bout: ‘cock Asians’?”
Feb 16, 2011 7:52am
:Twitter haiku 292 – “Persnickety cults /Absorbed with worship’s details / Lead to anal sects”
Feb 15, 2011 2:09pm
:Twitter haiku 291 – “God of Babylon / Twice cloned, single reprisal / Three Baals and one strike”
Feb 12, 2011 7:44pm
:Twitter haiku 290 – “Star Trek fanatic / Insulted Bill Shatner, so…. / The Shat hit the fan”
Feb 2, 2011 2:40pm
:Twitter haiku 289 – “Giza pyramids / I overpaid entrance fee / So, was I E-gypped?”
Jan 31, 2011 3:32pm
:Twitter haiku 288 – “Egyptian slacker / Takes naps in an ancient tomb / He’s sarcopha-guy”
Jan 28, 2011 8:03am
:Twitter haiku 287 – “Indian household / Stores toys along with lentils / Labelled, ‘the dahl house'”
Jan 25, 2011 2:11pm
:Twitter haiku 286 – “Medical artist / Drew stomach in Gaugin’s style / Deemed far too ‘ab’-stract”
Jan 21, 2011 3:01pm
:Twitter haiku 285 – “Don’t feel too badly / Half the people in the world / Are below average”
Jan 16, 2011 10:37pm
:Twitter haiku 284 – “Confucious (not) say / Two can live cheaply as one / But for half as long”
Jan 15, 2011 8:22am
:Twitter haiku 283 – “All lovers should know / Fastest way to a man’s heart / Is through the rib cage”
Jan 15, 2011 12:06am
:Twitter haiku 282 – “Ethical salesman / Peddling batteries gone dead / Gives ’em free of charge”
Dec 15, 2010 9:14pm
:Twitter haiku 281 – “Male genitalia / Like French fries at a diner / It comes with a shake”
Dec 12, 2010 8:43pm
:Twitter haiku 280 – “Daal-themed road dragsters / Shaped like lentils, peas and beans / My pulses racing”
Nov 25, 2010 3:55pm
:Twitter haiku 279 – “Psychic zoo-keepers / Drowned by amorous dolphin / They saw it coming”
Oct 21, 2010 2:07pm
:Twitter haiku 278 – “Research In Motion / Looking for new employees / Who wants a RIM job?”
Sep 14, 2010 8:55pm
:Twitter haiku 277 – “Dentist on the stand / Was told to tell the tooth and / Nothing but the tooth”
Aug 16, 2010 12:45pm
:Twitter haiku 276 – “Massage therapist / Complimented my man-boobs: / ‘They’re pectacular!'”
Aug 3, 2010 8:10pm
:Twitter haiku 275 – “Unicellular / Creature from South India / A protoGoan?”
July 17, 2010 9:18pm
:Twitter haiku 274- “If Smiths were Desi / Their biggest hit would have been / ‘How Monsoon Is Now?'”
July 10, 2010 12:10 am
:Twitter haiku 273 – “As the giving crab / Said to the greedy lobster / Don’t be so shellfish”
June 27, 2010 2:34pm PST
:Twitter haiku 272 – “Penis extension / Versus a vasectomy / Makes a vas deferens”
June 24, 2010 4:35pm
:Twitter haiku 271 – “Well endowed porn stars/ Found success in politics/ A hung Parliament?”
May 28, 2010 9:05am
:Twitter haiku 270 – “Top Indian chef / Bribes food critics with korma / Currying favour?”
May 26, 2010 5:13pm
:Twitter haiku 269 – “Worst kind of pervert / Likes his four-legged friends young / Quadropedophile?”
May 23, 2010 2:19am
:Twitter haiku 268 – “Microcephalic / Lover guarantees that you’ll / Get a little head”
May 15, 2010 3:07pm
:Twitter haiku 267 – “A school for spices / Graduates are smart scholars / Informed, wise and…. sage”
May 4, 2010 12:35pm
:Twitter haiku 266 – “Swedish-Indian / Automobile made of cheese / Call it ‘Saab paneer'”
May 3, 2010 12:08 pm
:Twitter haiku 265 – “Coal extraction team / Arrested during orgy / Charge: sex with miners”
April 30, 2010 8:24am
:Twitter haiku 264 – “Genius insect / Thwarted in plans to rule world / The fly was undone”
April 29, 2010 4:23pm
:Twitter haiku 263 – “Well endowed stripper / Pulled self out of poverty / By her own boobstraps”
April 26, 2010 12:10pm
:Twitter haiku 262 – “Too much cassava / Can lead to diarrhea / Real pone in the ass”
April 23, 2010 8:34am
:Twitter haiku 261 – “Yogi Bear’s workout / ‘Ranger-Booboo’ asana / Picnic basket pose”
April 14, 2010 8:39am
:Twitter haiku 260 – “Himalayan king / Overthrown by an upstart / Hail the u-sherpa!”
April 13, 2010 4:41pm
:Twitter haiku 259 – “Tired haiku-ist / Unconsciously steals a pun / Damn you, Facebookers!”
April 6, 2010 11:30am
:Twitter haiku 258 – “Yoga instructors / With many schedule conflicts / Must be flexible”
April 6, 2010 8:58am
*NB: this might be an unintentional/subconcious paraphrasing of someone’s stand-up act!
:Twitter haiku 257 – “An electric eel / Was crossed with a sponge; their child? / A shock absorber”
Mar 22, 2010 10:43 pm
:Twitter haiku 256 – “God of Babylon / Proclaimed himself the greatest / That sure took some Baals”
Mar 20, 2010 7:73pm
:Twitter haiku 255 – “Seniors hockey league / Some players refuse groin cups / Crotchety old men”
Mar 9, 2010 6:12pm
:Twitter haiku 254 – “Name of a guide book / On Indian etiquette: / ‘Hindus and Hin-don’ts'”
Mar 7, 2010 9:00pm
:Twitter haiku 253 – “Scam artist was caught / Spent jail time writing novel / Called it, ‘Prose and Cons'”
Mar 6, 2010 9:06pm
:Twitter haiku 252 – “Caucasian parents / Failed to get Chinese baby / Two Whites don’t make Wong”
Mar 2, 2010 8:22pm
:Twitter haiku 251 – “Bill Cosby when young / Once couldn’t find his way home / He was a lost Coz”
Feb 23, 2010 10:43pm
:Twitter haiku 249 – “Failed boxer turns tricks / Gives sloppy fellatio / Takes it on the chin”
Feb 20, 2010 7:33am
:Twitter haiku 248 – “An advancing bee / Wears dark colours in Autumn / Sting forward, Fall black”
Feb 11, 2010 10:13pm
:Twitter haiku 247 – “Disease transmission / Define ‘fecal-oral’ route: / To eat shit and die”
Feb 9, 2010 12:19pm
:Twitter haiku 246 – “Went to cougar bar / For Philanthropic event / Such milfy goodness”
Feb 6, 2010 12:12am
:Twitter haiku 245 – “Geometricians / In old Italian town / Compute Pisa pi”
Feb 5, 2010 1:30pm
:Twitter haiku 244 – “An iconoclast / Wary of rice-farming ways / Goes against the grain”
Feb 4, 2010 2:40pm
:Twitter haiku 243 – “Dentist on the stand / Was told to tell the tooth and / Nothing but the tooth”
Feb 2, 2010 11:18pm
:Twitter haiku 242 – “Failed sex in orbit / Houston, we’ve got a problem / Attempt re-entry”
Feb 2, 2010 7:51AM
:Twitter haiku 241 – “Twitter warriors / Motto: never surrender / Never re-tweet”
Feb 1, 2010 11:pm
:Twitter haiku 240 – “Polygamous ape / Needs a name for his first wife / How about ‘prime mate’?”
Jan 24, 2010 12:43 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 239 – “Female genitals / Models for new Swiss auto / Behold, the Vulvo!”
Jan 22, 2010 09:58 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 239 – “Lo, Pat Robertson / Master of hate and self-love / You master-hater”
15 January at 18:27
:Twitter haiku 238 – “My shelf stocked with books / Physics, Art, Sci-fi, Humour / The rest is hist’ry”
14 January at 08:12
:Twitter haiku 237 – “New economy / Markets for soil, mud and dirt / But grime does not pay”
10 January at 09:56
:Twitter haiku 236 – “Swiffer dry or wet? / Can’t decide, but I do know / Vacuum cleaners suck”
09 January at 20:47
:Twitter haiku 235 – “Acupuncturist / Calls a telephone sex line / ‘Stick it to me, babe!'”
08 January at 19:28
:Twitter haiku 234 – “New business idea:/ Market surveys by strippers! / Call it ‘poll dancing'”
07 January at 11:33
:Twitter haiku 233 – “Oil prices rising / Consumers bent over pumps / Screwed in the gas hole”
Jan 5, 2010 04:29 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 232 – “Only get aroused / While reading The Odyssey / Homersexual?”
Jan 4, 2010 02:53 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 231 – “Tough economy / I even tried turning tricks / But I got laid off”
Jan 4, 2010 05:18 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 230 – “Cutting back on porn / Excessive masturbation / Getting out of hand”
Jan 2, 2010 07:38 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 229 – “A philologist / Made love to a female sheep / His students cried, ‘Ewe!'”
Jan 1, 2010 07:31 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 228 – “Afghan accounting / Has now been prohibited / Known as ‘tally ban'”
Dec 31, 2009 06:45 PM GM
:Twitter haiku 227 – “Downsides of Christmas / Fat man breaking into house / Reindeer shit on roof”
Dec 26, 2009 12:52 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 226 – “Garden of Eden / Built December twenty four / First chick: Christmas Eve”
Dec 24, 2009 04:55 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 225 – “A supermodel / Has turned necrophiliac / Victims: lucky stiffs”
Dec 22, 2009 08:39 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 224 – “Keen on good grammar / Santa’s elf got new title / ‘Subordinate Clause'”
Dec 21, 2009 03:59 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 223 – “Christmas in da ‘hood / Santa frontin’ like a pimp / Chanting, ‘Ho, ho, ho!'”
19 December at 00:06
:Twitter haiku 223 – “Homeless hedonists / Wand’ring explorers of flesh / Hobosexuals?”
15 December at 17:54
:Twitter haiku 222 – “Once told a girlfriend / I was multi-orgasmic / She said, ‘Come again?'”
12 December at 18:30
:Twitter haiku 221 – “Young Richard Simmons / Mastered chess, checkers and bridge / Outrageous game man”
Dec 10, 2009 02:09 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 220 – “Famous golfer with / Wandering club ‘pon the green / Tiger’s wood is champ”
Dec 4, 2009 08:15 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 219 – “Lo, North Africa / Filled with bald men with long beards / Need not see berber”
Dec 3, 2009 09:01 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 218 – “Weak accountant tried / To unstick computer key / But couldn’t budget”
01 December at 11:40
:Twitter haiku 217 – “Fussy mint robbers / Wanted coins but no pennies / Such a cents-less crime”
30 November at 03:02
:Twitter haiku 216 – “Shrink cum coroner / Dissects teens dead from head bumps / He opens young minds”
26 November at 07:55
:Twitter haiku 215 – “Mannequin fact’ry / Must close due to surplus limbs / Workers up in arms”
25 November at 09:57
:Twitter haiku 214 – “A crazy almond / Imprisoned among padlocks / But the nut bolted”
24 November at 14:05
:Twitter haiku 213 – “Indian Jewish / Food stall in the capital / Serves best Delhi meat”
Nov 21, 2009 07:40 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 212 – “New Age bakery / Avoids all gluten and wheat / Uses spelt checker”
Nov 18, 2009 09:41 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 211 – “Frankenstein’s monster / Sloppy job, too few organs / Heart wasn’t in it”
Nov 17, 2009 02:08 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 210 – “Punjab commando / Torn ‘tween piety and war / To Sikh and destroy?”
Nov 16, 2009 05:53 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 209 – “Hindu cooking store / Sells hemp and betel nut, too / Deals in pot and paan”
Nov 15, 2009 02:57 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 208 – “Eager to produce / So much that it seems I skipped / Haiku two-oh-five”
Nov 12, 2009 8:48am
:Twitter haiku 207 – “Cooking a stirfry / Whilst chatting on the cell phone / A wokkie talky?”
Nov 10, 2009 10:01pm
:Twitter haiku 206 – “National airline / With one robotic captain / A pilot project?”
Nov 8, 2009 11:04pm
:Twitter haiku 204 – “If telling dick jokes / In a penitentiary / Um… penile humour?”
Nov 2, 2009 11:56pm
:Twitter haiku 203 – “Declining fish stocks / Need monetary relief / Um… cash and release?”
Oct 29, 2009 01:11 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 202 – “Founder of Turkey / To encourage during race / I cried, ‘At a Turk!'”
Oct 28, 2009 01:41 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 201 – “Hillbilly baker / Who married his own sister / Makes finest in-bread”
Oct 26, 2009 06:09 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 200 – “Underground rivers / Bloat beneath Punjabi graves / Pushing up Desis”
Oct 24, 2009 10:34 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 199 – “Ageing is shocking / Just found my first grey chest hair / Sigh, I thought I’d dye”
Oct 22, 2009 11:50 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 198 – “Janet Jacksons boob / A tempest in a D-cup? / (Hey, I’m tryin’ here)”
Oct 21, 2009 07:51 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 197 – “Vote on course titles / Democracy by fatigue / Won’t this meeting end?!”
Oct 19, 2009 at 3:15pm
:Twitter haiku 196 – “A 50s swing band / Bedecked in flow’ry dresses / Old time frock ‘n’ roll”
Oct 19, 2009 at 3:15am
:Twitter haiku 195 – “Fan of Olde English / Who insists on speaking thus / A ‘forsooth-sayer’?”
Oct 15, 2009 01:26 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 194 – “As children, Greek gods / Read silly bedtime stories / Penned by Dr Zeus”
Oct 8, 2009 12:14pm
:Twitter haiku 193 – “Too much anal sex / So much like a contact lens / Makes a brown eye blue”
Oct 6, 2009 3:37pm
:Twitter haiku 192 – “A fatal disease / Contracted from airport food / Terminal illness”
Oct 4, 2009 9:03pm
:Twitter haiku 191 – “Why jack-o-lantern / Unable to father kids? / His hollow-weenie?”
Oct 2, 2009 3:11pm
:Twitter haiku 190 – “Timid high school girl / With ugly frock mocked by peers / Damsel in dissed dress.”
11:31 AM Sep 21st
:Twitter haiku 189 – “Singer on a cruise / Really wasn’t up to par / Couldn’t hit high seas”
10:20 AM Sep 19th
:Twitter haiku 188 – “Moved into condo / Needed change of ownership / For my rental health”
7:36 AM Sep 18th
:Twitter hiaku 187 – “Plants on balcony / Speak to them to help them grow / Till it like it is”
5:26 AM Sep 16th
:Twitter haiku 186 – “Need to develop / Some more flexibility / To watch my own back”
6:30 AM Sep 15th
Twitter haiku 185 – “Out of bed early / Do I look respectable? / First day of classes :(”
5:17 AM Sep 14th
:Twitter haiku 184 – “Do not want jock itch / Would put me in a bad mood / Make me crotchety”
Sep 10, 2009 03:08 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 183 – “Hormones in the womb / Embryo with facial hair / Or a ‘zygoatee'”
Sep 9, 2009 02:25 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 182 – “Two thermometers / One rectal and one oral / The difference? The taste.”
Sep 8, 2009 11:42 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 181 – “Witty entendre / Concerning a foul odour / It was quite pun-gent”
Sep 5, 2009 02:42 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 180 – “Energetic day / Morning jog goes overtime / So I’m running late!”
Sep 4, 2009 01:21 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 179 -“Future arms dealers / Will make switchblades from blood clots / Yes… congealed weapons”
Sep 1, 2009 02:23 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 178 – “Lumbar adjustment / To create vertebral space / The spinal frontier”
Aug 30, 2009 05:51 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 177 – “Observing night life / Seems douchebags of a feather / Will flock to pleather”
Aug 27, 2009 5:28 am
:Twitter haiku 176 – “My fake wrasslin’ belt / Is sadly made of cardboard / A waist of paper”
Aug 25, 2009 7:44 am
:Twitter haiku 175 – “I need a title / For porno set in Oslo / Um… ‘Norwegian Wood’?”
Aug 23, 2009 3:29 pm
:Twitter haiku 174 – “Girl shops for tampons / New fangled brand not in stock / Have to pull some strings”
2:07 PM Aug 22nd
:Twitter haiku 173 – “Need a replacement / For my desktop calendar / Its days are numbered”
10:15 AM Aug 21st
:Twitter haiku 172 – “Architect jailbreak / Failed to climb over the wall / Wasn’t built to scale”
1:47 PM Aug 20th
:Twitter haiku 171 – “At my new condo / Starting organic garden / Till it like it is”
9:14 AM Aug 19th
:Twitter haiku 170 – “Viagra sponsored / Porn awards: ‘Best Erection’ / Stiff competition”
8:10 AM Aug 18th
:Twitter haiku 169 -“Getting a mortgage / Forced to spend responsibly / Time to act my wage”
9:52 PM Aug 16th
:Twitter haiku 168 – “I am quite proud of / My powers of deduction / (Finished my taxes)”
11:16 PM Aug 13th
:Twitter haiku 167 – “Hey it’s my birthday / But I don’t deserve congrats / Word to my mother.”
2:03 AM Aug 12th
:Twitter haiku 166 – “Once again today / Something’s getting on my nerves / My sciatica”
3:36 PM Aug 11th
:Twitter haiku 165 – “Define ironic / Write haiku in same hotel / As haiku con’frence!”
9:31 AM Aug 9th
:Twitter haiku 164 – “Hat said to the shoes / As they both explored: ‘Stay here.’ / ‘I’ll go on a head.'”
5:41 PM Aug 5th
:Twitter haiku 163 – “Hmm, lost a filling / Guess I’m off to the dentist / Yep, I know the drill”
Jul 28, 2009 01:41 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 162 – “Logic of hunger / If burrito ergo sum / Famished, I vanish”
Jul 27, 2009 02:56 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 161 – “If Hewlett Packard / Were to enter steak business / Need some HP sauce?”
Jul 27, 2009 02:46 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 160 – “I’m a desi dude / Seen driving a pick-up truck / Wrong kind of in’jun”
Jul 24, 2009 09:36 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 159 – “Social network war / With battles fought on Twitter / Must never re-tweet!”
Jul 23, 2009 04:58 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 158 – “Judge bangs the gavel / when defendant’s perfume fades / ‘You’re out of odour!'”
Jul 22, 2009 01:33 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 157 – “I saw a cookie / In my doctor’s waiting room / Guess it felt crummy”
Jul 21, 2009 03:32 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 156 – “If ‘Pussycat Dolls’ / And ‘Girlicious’ were to merge / Um… ‘Pussylicious’?”
Jul 20, 2009 01:38 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 155 – “Bollywood movie / About a heroic dog / A mango Lassie?”
Jul 18, 2009 03:34 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 154 – “SMS sent just / To those with same mobile brands / Homotextuals?”
Friday 17th July 2009
:Twitter haiku 153 – “Essay on Cooper / First man twice into orbit / It is double spaced”
Tuesday 14th July 2009
:Twitter haiku 152 – “Writing a paper / About IVF, i.e. / ‘A Womb With A View'”
Monday 13th July 2009
:Twitter haiku 151 – “Choked on my dinner / When raffle prize announced: brunch… / With Ali Velshi”
Sunday 12th July 2009
:Twitter haiku 150 – “Coal and nuclear / Compete to produce current / A power struggle”
Saturday 11th July 2009
:Twitter haiku 148 – “An architect on / The indoor rock climbing wall: / ‘It was built to scale.'”
Thursday 9th July 2009
:Twitter haiku 147 – “Chalk outline artist / Found dead in his studio / Details are sketchy”
Wednesday 8th July 2009
:Twitter haiku 146 – “The sitch in Iran / Were elections fraudulent? / Bit of a farsi”
Friday 3rd July 2009
:Twitter haiku 145 – “It’s Domin’yun Day / Changed due to confusion with / A supermarket”
Jul 1, 2009 01:51 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 144 – “Seeing a psychic / To find a potential spouse: / Love at second sight?”
Jun 30, 2009 01:23 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 143 – “Computer program / For parsing Greek alphabet /Needs beta testing”
Jun 29, 2009 12:27 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 142 – “Celebrity deaths / Difficult to manage; quite / An undertaking”
Jun 26, 2009 11:57 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 141 – “Once upon a time / There were three little girls who… / Oh just never mind 🙁 ”
Jun 26, 2009 01:58 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 140 – “Your body shivers / No mere mortal can resist / Evil of Thriller”
Jun 26, 2009 01:50 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 139 – “He who pans for gold / Does it for value that is / Just sedimental”
Jun 25, 2009 03:26 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 138 – “Need more online fame / Can I find a spectacle? / Punch Perez Hilton?”
:Twitter haiku 137 – “The sculptor’s party / Suffered from a lack of guests / ‘Twas a complete bust”
:Twitter haiku 136 – “Change sexist language: /How ’bout ‘Shebrew’, ‘her’-stamines / And ‘his’-maphrodites?”
Jun 21, 2009 02:12 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 135 – “Me, I meditate / Often I just fall asleep / Call it ‘napitate’.”
Jun 20, 2009 01:47 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 134 – “My asshole dentist / Said mean things about my teeth / He hurt my fillings”
Jun 18, 2009 11:28 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 133 – “Director on set / Of porno with flat pillows: / ‘We need more fluffers!'”
Jun 16, 2009 04:17 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 132 – “City in BC / Prowling middle aged women / Call it ‘VanCougar’?”
Jun 15, 2009 04:17 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 131 – “Vancouver rental / I think bad driving might be / An epidemic”
Jun 14, 2009 07:02 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 130 – “Worms, moles and Morlocks / Darkly plot revolution / Underground movement”
Jun 11, 2009 12:14 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 129 – “Porn sector downsized / The impotent men fired / Got rid of dead wood”
Jun 10, 2009 10:18 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 128 – “Misspelled particles / CERN’s large ‘hardon’ collider? / Sounds like gay porno”
Jun 9, 2009 05:51 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 127 – “Brazil’yan speaker / So much like John Ralston Saul / Won’t shut the frakk up”
Jun 8, 2009 04:56 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 126 – “i left Jamaica / Just to come to Winnipeg / What was I thinking?”
Jun 8, 2009 12:14 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 125 – “Back in the airport / Hot security screener / Hope for a strip search”
Jun 7, 2009 04:57 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 124 – “Trapped in tiny booth / In CBC studios / Await Nora Young”
Jun 5, 2009 07:55 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 123 – “Streaming Spark’s podcast / Laptop batt’ries recharging / Yes, they’re re-volting”
Jun 5, 2009 01:14 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 122 – “Shoddy computers / Make me miss the abacus / You could count on it”
Jun 5, 2009 05:45 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 121 – “Rastafarian / Creator of his own God / Perhaps Ja-maker?”
Jun 4, 2009 02:26 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 120 – “Wine and rum don’t mix / Downed with coconut water / Where is my Advil?”
Jun 3, 2009 06:10 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 119 – “Morning in Kingston / Waiter asks if I slept well / I reply, ‘Ya, mon'”
Jun 2, 2009 11:21 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 118 – “Off to Jamaica / I’d always meant to go there / Guess it was ‘high’ time”
Jun 1, 2009 06:06 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 117 – “This one’s taking time / If suggestions, please up-chime / (Haikus need not rhyme)”
May 31, 2009 10:50 PM EST
:Twitter haiku 116 – “Fourteen hour sleep / Dreamt of dancing girls and cheese / Was it dancing cheese?”
May 30, 2009 08:33 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 115 – “Some economists / Like gropers in the darkness / Invisible hands”
May 29, 2009 02:34 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 114 – “A fussy mohel / Must compute a precise cut / Tip calculator”
May 28, 2009 12:56 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 113 – “I’m to talk haikus / On CBC radio / Sudden relevance”
May 27, 2009 08:50 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 112 – “Underemployed dwarf / Unable to pay his bills / He’s a little short”
May 26, 2009 03:51 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 111 – “Judged a lit contest / Am stressed from the bad spelling / Post-grammatic stress”
May 25, 2009 07:00 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 110 – “James Joyce arrested / While writing ‘Penelope’ / Got a long sentence”
May 23, 2009 07:12 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 109 – “Dwarf goes to doctor / Long wait line, so he must be / A little patient”
May 22, 2009 12:36 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 108 – “Gastronomic thief / Swallowed then shat out his loot / ‘Twas an inside job”
May 21, 2009 08:51 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 107 – “Perhaps I’m biased / The uncircumcised penis / It lacks character”
May 20, 2009 06:09 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 106 – “Constrained to behave / Like Japanese poetry / That’s just haiku-ku”
May 19, 2009 11:43 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 105 – “Destroyer captain / Unlawful attack on sub / They dropped the charges”
May 18, 2009 06:56 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 104 – “It’s Sunday morning / Just spilled coffee on my shirt / Show you my dis-stain”
May 17, 2009 04:14 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 102 – “Drunk on Saturday / Will Sunday be as pleasant? / All signs point to yes”
May 17, 2009 03:26 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 101 – “Thick hairy chest? Check. / Self-satisfied smirk? Oh yeah. / Rise, mighty Hoffwat!”
May 15, 2009 09:07 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 101 – “Mmmm, food and beverage / And flotation devices / Boobs: what can’t they do?”
May 14, 2009 01:19 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 100 – “Home upon the ‘loo / Write with nothing else to do / One hundredth haiku!”
May 10, 2009 04:11 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 99 – “Star Whores to Das Butt / And Shaving Ryan’s Privates / Sperms of Endearment?”
May 9, 2009 04:30 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 98 – “A search for items / In a crevasse of charred wood / Poke in the ash hole”
May 8, 2009 10:37 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 97 – “Trigonometry / I mastered it years ago / I’m secant to none”
May 7, 2009 04:49 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 96 – “Matt Damon gut check / Infection from a river / WaterBourne illness?”
May 6, 2009 02:25 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 95 – “Reincarnated / Baby Lama hissy fit / A temple tantrum?”
May 5, 2009 03:22 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 94 – “Nagging passengers / Wanting me to slow down, so / I put my foot down”
May 3, 2009 04:35 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 93 – “O Guyanese rum / Why are you so enticing? / Hangover awaits”
May 2, 2009 05:49 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 92 – “In old Germany / Cheeses too inflexible / Be more limburger”
Apr 30, 2009 11:40 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 91 – “On UK food tour / Found a delicate Welsh cheese / Ate it Caerphilly”
Apr 30, 2009 03:06 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 90 – “Missionaries trek / Get eaten by cannibals / Taste of religion”
Apr 29, 2009 09:10 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 90 – “Looking for apples / In a grove of oranges / It’s a fruitless search”
Apr 28, 2009 01:45 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 89 – “Spinal carpenter / Gonna build m a new back / To the lumbar yard!”
Apr 27, 2009 01:11 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 88 – “A female to male / transgender operation / Addadicktomy”
Apr 27, 2009 02:39 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 87 – “Tijuana pig / Once earned a pilot’s licence / Mexican swine flew”
Apr 26, 2009 01:56 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 86 – “Sign on the front door / Of summertime nudist camp: / ‘Clothed until July'”
Apr 26, 2009 03:25 AM GMT
:Twitter haiku 85 – “I’m so sedated / Rock, rock, rock’n’roll haiku / Ramones poetry?”
Apr 25, 2009 10:08 PM GMT
:Twitter haiku 84 – “No haiku today / Too much frakking lumbar pain / Suck on that, byatches!”
April 29, 2009 10:24am
:Twitter haiku 83 – “Please, Mister doctor / Cure my herniated disc / Now, or I’ll kill you”
April 24, 2009 10:50am
:Twitter haiku 82 – “I was turned away / From the First Nations diner / No reservations”
April 21, 2009 9:29pm
:Twitter haiku 81 – “Priest in a French church / Evangelical Christian / Pastor of Paris”
April 21, 2009 4:40pm
:Twitter haiku 79 – “Some classical strings / Backdrop global health lecture / Sachs and violins.”
April 20, 2009 8:40am
:Twitter haiku 80 – “Belly getting fat / Might have something to do with / Late night bacon fest”
April 20, 2009 12:54am
:Twitter haiku 78 – “Somewhere lies a ditch / Where all donkeys go to die / It’s quite an ass hole”
April 19, 2009 11:47am
:Twitter haiku 76 – “Demand for haikus / Outstrips my ability / To produce good ones.”
April 18, 2009 9:10am
:Twitter haiku 77 – “Not scared of flying / Yet something not natural / Bus hurled through the sky”
April 18, 2009 9:26 am
:Twitter haiku 77 – “Exploring Yale U. / I’m out of my ivy league/ Academe envy
April 18, 2009 9:30am
:Twitter haiku 75 – “Perhaps Charles Dickens / Should have been a porn writer / ‘David Cop-A-Feel'”
April 17, 2009 10:59am
:Twitter haiku 74 – “A broken pencil / Leaves me so apathetic / Because it’s pointless”
April 16, 2009 2:17am
:Twitter haiku 73 – “A carpenter’s son / Is called to be a shepherd / Builds houses of sheep”
April 15, 2009 9:28am
:Twitter haiku 72 – “Ornery toddlers / Like criminals on the run / Resisting a rest.”
April 14, 2009 8:15pm
:Twitter haiku 68 – “Atomic butt plug: / Weapon of ass obstruction? / Just a random thought.”
April 11, 2009 9:00pm
:Twitter haiku 67 – “Undergrad students / So whiny, I go cross-eyed / Can’t control pupils”
April 10, 2009 9:59am
:Twitter haiku 66 – “I would date Kate Moss / But she would take a lichen / To somebody else”
April 9, 2009 10:36am
:Twitter haiku 65 – “Massage therapists / With really bad attitudes / Rub me the wrong way”
April 8, 2009 2:15am
:Twitter haiku 62 – “I have to go for / Proctological exam / And get rectified”
April 6, 2009 9:46am
:Twitter haiku 64 – “If an eye doctor / Has affair with another / An optom-e-tryst?”
April 6, 2009 11:30pm
:Twitter haiku 62 – “I rushed to get to / Mass orgasm festival / But I came too late”
April 5, 2009 9:26am
:Twitter haiku 61 – “Unproven science / Gravity’s just a theory / Maybe the Earth sucks”
April 4, 2009 8:15am
:Twitter haiku 60 – “Of all the forces / Gravity’s the biggest dick / Putting people down”
April 3, 2009 10:42pm
:Twitter haiku 59 – “A sign on the lawn / Of the drug rehab centre / Keep off of the grass”
April 3, 2009 9:30am
:Twitter haiku 58 – “Espresso machine / Has become so essential / To my daily grind”
April 2, 2009 10:49pm
:Twitter haiku 57 – “Plants in my office / Mysteriously dying / Stop peeing on them?”
April 2, 2009 1:10pm
:Twitter haiku 56 – “Students pray for marks / On trigonometry test / Want sine from above”
April 1, 2009 10:55pm
:Twitter haiku 55 – “If chiropractors / Gave happy endings, I fear / They’d be bone crackers”
April 1, 2009 3:55am
:Twitter haiku 54 – “Looking at condo / If overpriced, I will pay / Condo-minimum”
March 31, 2009 7:49pm
:Twitter haiku 53 – “Marking an essay / This one is just plain average / Am I being ‘mean’?”
March 31, 2009 8:00am
:Twitter haiku 52 – “Undergrad students / Buying me tequila shots / Tenure slips away?
March 30, 2009 10:09am
:Twitter haiku 51 – “Unethical life / Constipation of the soul / Need moral fibre.”
March 29, 2009 8:50am
:Twitter haiku 50 – “Injured in Taiwan / Needed a blood transfusion / Got some Taipei blood”
March 28, 2009 8:04am
:Twitter haiku 48 – “Professors meeting / Seems like it will never end / My faculties dulled.”
March 27, 2009 1:16pm
:Twitter haiku 48 – “Soldiers trudge on foot / No artillery support / It’s a tankless job”
March 26, 2009 10:32pm
:Twitter haiku 47 – “Bank crisis bail-out. / Credit sticks, bonuses paid. / Conflict of interest.”
March 26, 2009 9:54am
:Twitter haiku 46 – “The mortgage crisis: / Folks move back to apartments / To pay a ‘flat’ rate.”
March 25, 2009 9:01pm
:Twitter haiku 45 – “Banks like some rappers / Notorious AIG / Die and pass the buck.”
March 25, 2009 10:10pm
:Twitter haiku 44 – “Sub-prime career change / I used to be a banker / But I lost interest.”
March 24, 2009 9:16pm
:Twitter haiku 43 – “My ADHD / Is fully under control. / Oh look! A squirrel!”
March 24, 2009 2:03pm
:Twitter haiku 42 – “Some transsexuals / Hide from us their true intent / Hidden ‘agenders’.”
March 24, 2009 1:14am
:Twitter haiku 41 -“Serious back pain / After tripping on frisbee / Seems I slipped a disc.”
March 23, 2009 11:30am
:Twitter haiku 40 – “Speckles of gray hair / I need a suicide scalp/ Dye by my own hand.”
March 23, 2009 1:39am
:Twitter haiku 39 – “If I were a cheese / Then my corresponding wine: / Full-bodied, tarty.”
March 22, 2009 1:46pm
:Twitter haiku 38 – “I’m trying to read / A book on ADHD / But I’m distracted.”
March 21, 2009 3:05pm
:Twitter haiku 37 – “Physio assigned / ‘The McKenzie Protocol’ / I feel like a spy”
March 21, 2009 11:59am
:Twitter haiku 36 – “To bed with concern / Clumsy bugs on the ceiling / I sleep open-mouthed”
March 20, 2009 9:31pm
:Twitter haiku 35 – “It’s good to be male / When drunk and need a toilet / Why shoes smell of pee?”
March 20, 2009 2:11pm
:Twitter haiku 33 – “St. Patrick’s Day first: / A Black-Irish President / Barry O’Bama”
March 20, 2009 2:49am
:Twitter haiku 32 – “Pope: don’t use condoms / I get all my sex advice / From an old virgin”
March 19, 2009 11:49pm
:Twitter haiku 31 – “”Just got a massage / From a blind therapist / But I saw her peek.”
March 19, 2009 11:15pm
:Twitter haiku 30 – “Three traffic tickets / In seventy two hours / No wonder I’m broke”
March 19, 2009 1:56pm
:Twitter haiku 29 – “Beware mohel-cum-chef / With limited meat supplies / Avoid the jerky”
March 19, 2009 12:30pm
:Twitter haiku 28 – “Name for my penis / Notorious B-I-G / (He’s not using it)”
March 19, 2009 9:13am
:Twitter haiku 26 – “Day for St. Patrick / Vomiting emerald beer / I look great in green.”
March 18, 2009 5:42pm
:Twitter haiku 26 – “Getting physio / Is much less of pain when / Therapist is hot”
March 18, 2009 7:15am
:Twitter haiku 24 – “For one night only / To bed at a decent time / Or maybe watch porn”
March 18, 2009 1:46am
:Twitter haiku 21 – “Still drunk in Vermont / Fifteen percent more wasted / Due to exchange rate.”
March 15, 2009 12:31am
:Twitter haiku 20 – “I’m drunk in Vermont / New England spirits haunt. Wait… / …Theres a NEW England??”
March 15, 2009 9:58pm
:Twitter haiku 19 – “Frakking CBC / Has a contest on haikus / Frakking CBC”
March 15, 2009 2:24pm
:Twitter haiku 18 – “Cleaning the toilet / A necessary evil / But a shitty job”
March 14, 2009 1:57am
:Twitter haiku 16 – “Physio tells me / I have a tight ‘dural sheath’ / You’re jealous, aren’t you?”
March 14, 2009 2:38pm
:Twitter haiku 16 – “Stooped king of Egypt / I think Pharaoh needs to call / A Cairo-practor”
March 14, 2009 9:41am
:Twitter haiku 15 – “Child orangutan / Wearing a hospital gown / Who’ sick? You or me?”
March 13, 2009 2:40pm
:Twitter haiku 14 – “Deleted comments / On threads over one hundred / rename ‘CensorBook'”
March 12, 2009 10:52pm
:Twitter haiku 13 – “His son to Einstein, / ‘Dad, I want to be like you,’ / ‘It’s all relative.'”
March 12, 2009 7:05pm
:Twitter haiku 12 – “A haiku virus / Spreads among Facebook users / Poem uni-‘verse’ ”
March 12, 2009 5:37pm
:Twitter haiku 11 – “Jesus and Moses / Fight Mohammed to the death / Buddha winks at Ram”
March 12, 2009 5:06am
:Twitter haiku 10 – “Three weeks, no laundry / Need a new euphemism / Unfurnished basement?”
March 11, 2009 7:46pm
:Twitter haiku 9 – “Three weeks, no laundry / Feel like I’m in the army / Going commando”
March 11, 2009 9:17am
:Twitter haiku 8 – “Globalization / Can involve many nations / Wealth concentration”
March 10, 2009 12:46pm
:Twitter haiku 7: “Watching pro wrestling / The masked bad guy owns a dog! / Is it also fixed?”
March 9, 2009 11:23pm
:Twitter haiku 6 – “Drunken undergrads / Falling out of prom dresses / Must…think…of…career…”
March 8, 2009 10:48pm
:Twitter haiku 5 – “Montreal breakfast / I stumble in the bistro/ Exclaim aloud, ‘Oeuf!'”
March 8, 2009 2:35pm
:Twitter haiku 4 – “A chiropractor / Sees an insurance broker / Gets an adjustment.”
March 6, 2009 4:45pm
:Twitter haiku 3 – “Salmon liver oil / Essential part of perfume / Something smells fishy.”
Date unknown
:Twitter haiku 2 – “Opportunity / Can come from pornography / Chance to feel cocky.”
Date unknown
:Twitter haiku 1 – ‘Eat cheesies watch porn / Why is my penis orange? / Mysteries of life.’
Date unknown
